I have only read a few of the responses to your original post. I will tell you that when I had my DD, there were no registries. It would have been nice, but just wasn't the case. I have, however, hosted baby showers over the years for moms who did register. It is a way for places like Babies R Us to force guests into buying gifts chosen by the mom to be. I don't like it, but it seems to be the way things are now done. I did not, however, accept the store's recommendation that I use their (the store's) invitations. I think it is tacky. I personally never buy a gift off of the registry. I like to give something not so "cookie cutter", and give a gift of a Longerberger(sp) small lidded basket with the plastic liner. I put a disposible camera inside and the ceramic year marker that goes on the clasp. I usually include a note regarding what the basket is for - mom to take to the hospital on the day of the birth. The basket lid is the perfect size for the doc to put a "set of footprints" on the top of the lid of the basket. The camera is self-explanatory. I started this tradition with my SIL when she was pregnant with my godson. The docs/nurses are usually good sports about doing an extra set of footprints on the lid of the basket. It makes a nice gift for display in the nursery - it can hold keepsakes - lock of hair, first tooth over the years. Its great if the gift giver wants to just pick up a gift from the registry, but I think it lacks creativity. I'd rather give something a little different. As far as the larger gifts, my mom, and 2 MIL's took me out before my shower and we picked out things I would need for the baby, i.e.; highchair, swing, good car seat, etc.. Those gifts never came to the shower. I think it is unnecessary to bring the larger gifts to the shower. My point is - larger gifts from mom and MIL shouldn't be brought to the shower. They take up alot of room and then they have to be lugged away after the shower. My mom and grandmother both gave me crocheted (sp?) sweater, hat and bootie sets which I loved, and meant more to me than any high ticket item. Back in the day you received at least 2-3 handmade blankets - either knitted or crocheted. I was also lucky enough to get a handmade quilt "Box of Tricks" from a friend who did quilting. I love what you are giving your DIL. While I agree that your DIL needs to practice better manners, please do not make this an issue. Truth be told, she will ultimately decide the tone of the entire family relationship you have from here on out with this particular grandchild and any other children she may have. I hope all goes well and your DIL learns something when she becomes a mother herself. Congrats on your new grandchild!

"I always thought you were not supposed to put where a person is registered on an invitation. And especially not ask for gifts. But oh well." The entire point of a baby or wedding shower is to "shower" the guest of honor with presents, so putting the registry information in with the invitation is typically considered appropriate. It's events that are NOT specifically oriented toward the gifts, such as the wedding itself or a graduation party, where open reference to gifts is inappropriate. Did anyone else think a shower invitation from the cousin's daughter-in-law, whom the OP has met maybe three times, is casting the "gimme" net just a tad far out? Maybe if OP and cousin were very close friends, sure, but good grief! My standard shower gift is onesies. Lots and lots of plain white onesies, because my baby brother (now changing his own kids' diapers, how time flies!) could easily go through a dozen in a day. Budget is pretty much always around $25 unless it's a really close friend, because that's what MY budget can afford. If you shop right you can get a lot of onesies for $25! (I think my record is 10 6-packs that had been put on clearance for $2.50 a bag, down from $10, because the packages were ripped up. So I took them out of the packages, folded them nicely into a pretty box, and went merrily off to the shower - where I got in a viciously polite whispered argument with the host because I refused to play the "baby food tasting" game *retch*). Kiddo often outgrows them well before they wear out anyway. No one I know has done the "clothesline" although I do think it would be pretty cool to do a clothesline specifically to donate to the local women's shelter, and put that right on the invitation; I do find it very ironic that my lower-middle-class family ("you might be a redneck if...") thinks wishing wells are tacky. Diapers can be tricky, unless a specific type is noted on the registry, because of that whole cloth-vs-disposable thing. There are some verrrrry strong feelings on that subject! I do appreciate registries, both for weddings and baby showers, if I'm not very close to the recipient because it tells me what the recipients are interested in - I don't necessarily need to purchase something off the list, but if I see 20 Winnie the Pooh items on a baby shower list, that tells me that Mum is diggin' Pooh and might appreciate some mint-condition vintage Pooh books to read to her child or decorate a shelf in the nursery. It also does indicate to me what's NOT really welcome. For instance, if I see on the registry that everything the parents chose is either khaki, sage, and/or cream (such as at the last shower I attended), it's a pretty good bet that the parents are unlikely to be overly enthusiastic over primary colors or the old pink/blue routine.

I think it is a good idea.... How about others? Like maybe the Brat???? Even a brat needs a card now and then...BUT will she give out her address??? Maryanne is still going through a lot too....How about her... And Ruthie...I don't think we've ever had a card shower for her... Who else? patti

I agree with this "like any other gift giving occasion. How much you spend is a function of your means and you closeness" but would add, that is it also a function of the means of the recipient. I might give a very impractical cashmere baby blanket (albeit washable) or baby china to an affluent couple. For a couple with very limited means, I would choose something very practical ... even diapers (a lot of them clearly). For any occasion where someone is registered, 80% or so of what I give is from the registry, with the other 20% a total surprise based on my own ideas (like gift giving of yore). And yes, a baby book, pref a board book, and not one of the top 10 most popular.