This is a very old thread (more than a decade!), but I have read every comment because I was just invited to a gift card shower and am very turned off. Unfortunately, it is my brother’s fiance’s shower, so I cannot just send my regrets as I would in another case. (My mother is also mortified and when she heard it would be this type, she shortened her list of close friends to invite.) i have a few thoughts: I have come to question the ritual of showers now in many circumstances. The history of bridal showers comes from a couple of centuries ago when townspeople would send off young brides with small things to start their households. It has evolved into more formal parties over the years and it seems the expectation of how much should be given has increased significantly from even 20 years ago. The purpose of a shower is to help a couple start their home. Now that the majority of couples are getting married when they have already established themselves, are combining households, or are getting married for the second time, they often don’t need many household items. I need to preface the rest of my post and say I actually love attending showers. I love an intimate shower and take great care and thought in showering a bride. My husband and I have three children and do not have a lot of extra money, but I take great pride in still doing my best to choose a meaningful gift (typically off of a registry, but choose one of the items that is something I also love or reminds me of our relationship), wrap it beautifully, and come genuinely happy for the bride and ready to celebrate. I struggle with “trends” like an unwrapping assembly line, where the shower is so large that a bridesmaid unwraps the gift I wrapped with special paper and ribbon and pass it to the bride to make it faster, instead of her seeing the special touches I made because I love her. I struggle with a gift card shower where I feel like my budget is on display. Even if the bride isn’t announcing dollar amounts, I’m sure the friend taking notes for her thank you cards is, and I feel like I have to come up with more. I am happy to give a gift small in physical size or send the gift to the bride and wrap a printed photo of it so she can be surprised and announce to other interested guests. If someone is invited to a shower, they should be close enough to the guest of honor to know if they are traveling or moving, and most guests will take that into consideration without being told. i am happy to spend my money and take the time to shower someone I love or the spouse to be of someone I love, but no one likes to feel like they are being used for a gift and most people don’t have lots of extra money sitting around. Please also take intonconsideration that I will also be giving you cash for your wedding, potentially traveling to get there any staying in a hotel, paying for a babysitter, maybe new clothes, possibly going to/paying for a Bachelorette Party. If you don’t need anything, please don’t ask for my cash just because you think you should have a shower. i am editing to add: If you had a gift card shower and think your guests loved it or thought it was fine because they didn’t say anything to you, it’s because they won’t. Graceful guests do understand that the party is about the bride and would not want to burden her with stress as she is planning her wedding.

I know a few really fun games. 1)Guess that baby food. Use a disposible plate that you can write on. Section it off in however many flavors you want to use and number each section, one plate is prepared for each guest. Put spoonful of babyfood on each section and have your guests try and name that flavor. You can have guests write it down on paper/with corresponing number. ie: 1)bananna, 2)pear... and then have someone announce the flavors to see how many people guessed right. Its really funny! 2)You can do this casually during party. Pass around a ball of string/cord. Just cotton/or kite string or whatever you have that works. Have each guest cut off a length that they think will fit around moms belly. Whoever gets the closest wins. You do have to have mom stand there while each person sees if their string comes the closest to the correct circumference. You do need a good sense of humor for this one!

Thank you, all, for your opinions and comments. But, I guess I left out a detail or two when I originally posted... This is the couple's first child. I've sort of gotten stuck with helping with the shower, although I would prefer not to be involved other than to purchase a gift (which I've already done) and attend the shower. I'm also paying for the cake. All of us who are working on this would prefer that everyone be responsible for either purchasing their own gift, or organizing their own little group if they want to do a group gift. I've been tasked with designing the flyer -- which, to me, should simply say when and where the shower is being held, and that it's a baby boy (because that fact is known). But, several folks have already asked "who is collecting the money for a group gift," so I don't know if there's a way to avoid it altogether. And, in the past when someone has collected money for a group gift, no matter what the occasion, the flyer has always named the person who is collecting the money. And anyone who has worked there for at least a year (this coworker has been with us more than 10 years) knows that money is collected for group gifts, so having it on a flyer isn't going to be any big surprise. "I think putting up a flyer is tacky and I'd be embarrassed if I were the mother-to-be." It is quite common where I work for flyers to be put up announcing various events like retirement parties, birthday celebrations, etc. I really don't think anyone considers the flyers to be tacky. Yes, I have a concern whether saying anything about a minimum donation amount being tacky (which is why I started this thread)... But, those retirement party flyers all have menu choices and dollar amounts on them and something about how the money is for the food and gift for the honoree, and I've never heard anyone complain about them... And as I said a moment ago, the coworker has seen plenty of these flyers in the past 10 years. WildChild, I agree with everything you said. But, that still doesn't stop folks from asking who's collecting the money for a group gift... I think that I'm not going to put anything on the flyer about a group gift or donations; and when folks ask me "who's collecting the money" I'll just reply that if they want to go in with someone else on a gift that it's a fine idea, but they will need to discuss it with whomever they decide to go in with...

I agree with this "like any other gift giving occasion. How much you spend is a function of your means and you closeness" but would add, that is it also a function of the means of the recipient. I might give a very impractical cashmere baby blanket (albeit washable) or baby china to an affluent couple. For a couple with very limited means, I would choose something very practical ... even diapers (a lot of them clearly). For any occasion where someone is registered, 80% or so of what I give is from the registry, with the other 20% a total surprise based on my own ideas (like gift giving of yore). And yes, a baby book, pref a board book, and not one of the top 10 most popular.