I tooted in front of my dh shortly after we were married. Dh looked at me and said he didn't know gals did that. He knows technically everyone does it but his mom nor his sister ever did in front of him. I ruined his ideas of sweet ladies tooting behind closed doors. He must think I'm so uncouth. After 21 years, he's use to it.

Might need more embrassing then that one toni LOL though....my dh says I stink more then him but that is not so......heheheheheh.....Stacy

Cats were ready to bury me after a toot, LOL
Really should not eat/drink milk when you are lactose intolerant! LOL

When I was a college student (and much better looking than I am today), I was walking down the sidewalk past a parked car. It was warm and the car window was open. In the front seat was a young couple and a lively child perhaps 18 mo. old, all complete stangers to me. That kid spied me, leaned toward the window and began calling da da, da da. I was embarrased; the male driver was not amused; the mother had a shocked look.

yall are cracking me up.This reminds me of the fathers's day card I got greg for last Sunday.If I can find it I will post back what it said,and yes It had the word "Fart" in it.LOL.So you get the ideal.Hope I do not get in trouble saying that word.Yall get me out of trouble if I do.LOL.

My Mom has an expression; "Once you fart in bed the honeymoon is over."

Ron

That's not fair, Stacey! I think you need to go first so we can see just how embarassed you're talking about ...

... and BTW ... Happy Anniversary to you and Brian!

Mine is not a toot story but when DH & I were newlyweds, we had to do our laundry at his Mothers house, she would come down to the laundry room to chat when I was folding the clothes, and I was mortified for her to see me touching and folding his underwear. LOL Dottie

This one isn't about me which is why I have the nerve to share it. I was sworn to secrecy 20 years ago. But, since my first wife died over 12 years ago I think I can safely tell it now.
We were living in New Mexico and Mary was pregnant. She decided to have a home birth with a midwife instead of going to a regular doctor and having it at the hospital. As the blessed event grew closer the midwife instructed Mary to stretch her cervix each day to help make the birth easier. One evening she went into our bedroom to do her "exercises" but, after just a couple minutes she came racing back down the hall with a look of wild terror in her eyes. Just before that she had been roasting and peeling green chilis! She had washed her hands but obviously some of the oils still remained. She realized her mistake as soon as she touched herself "down there". Mary was in agony. Washing didn't help. She straddled an ice pack for a while and finally the firestorm subsided. Eventually, we had a good laugh over it.

Your up Stacy.

Ron

LMAO!! Oh my gosh Ron that is funny!! Much better then mine....but okay here we go....since today is our anniversary I thought I would try and get rid of my farmers tan.....and since we live in the country I don't have to be ummm modest so to speak? Well my hubby had to rub aloe on my bum for me last night...got rid of my farmers tan...but now I can hardly sit down....guess I won't be trying to look sexy anymore and just keep my workers tan!! Stacy

Speaqking of farts, I blew one in front of my dog recently and she barked at me. Lucily no humans were around.

LOL at jannie. No kidding, I did laugh out loud.

This happened many many years ago. It wasn't funny then, but I have to laugh about it now, as karma did it's thing.
My ex had a wart or two on his 'sack'. Dr. gave him some liquid to put on it. He didn't specify to put it only on the wart itself. So when he asked me to put it on because he couldn't see to do it, I did so. All over the entire area. Poor guy, it really did a job on that tender skin.
Leslie

I am also really laughing with Jannie- Only because that has happened in my house as well.

Ok, here is mine. My lovely husband took many photos when I gave birth to our son. Photos from ALL angles if you catch my drift. We took the pictures to the grocery store that also had one hour photo developing. We shopped while they did- you should have seen the look on the poor high school kid who did the developing- I never shopped there again.......

Trish

I have NEVER "fluffed" in front of anyone "on purpose"....and I mean to tell you if I make one little mistake...the whole family goes on about it like it's some kind of world record or something...

So Ron...I guess I'm still on my honeymoon....LOL

patti

Trish - now that is funny.

I'll just say, "Never try to give your hubby a Fleets enema without first removing the end cap."

OMG lindaohnowga! hahahahahahaahahahahhahahahahaahahah!

jannie, your post gave me the giggles. Must have been a doozy. lol

Trin

OMG!!! Just when I think everyone has posted everything they have to post on these "most embarrassing" threads, I read THESE!!! You guys have me dying here! ROTFL, LITERALLY!

Blessings,
Haley

My aunt used to lay on the couch stomach down to watch TV. One of her cats would lay right where her legs joined her butt. One night she let our a huge fart and the cat jumped up, shook his head and took off running. We laughed about that for years.

No embarrassing story to tell Stacy, but I just wanted to let you know we share the same anniversary. It's number 1 for Gary and I :-)

Wait, wait, I do have an embarrassing story.... Gary and I had seen a really pretty plant at a garden center near where my son lives. But the plant wasn't ready to sell and they wouldn't let us take it yet. We were all out for dinner that night for my daughter in law's birtday and I told my son about the plant and asked whether he could stop by in a few weeks and pick it up for me. I told him it was a chlamydia. He kind of looked at me for a minute then said..... "Mom, isn't that an STD?" LOL! It is for sure. The plant was actually a Caladium!

poor hubs ..sent him to the store for personal stuff (water had broke at work, and dd1 was on the way) he came home with internal "things". lol...

These are all funny!! Course DH is not laughing so much being our anniversary and all I want his him to rub aloe on me!! Well happy anniversay back at you jel and many more years to come for all of us!! Stacy

Happy Anniversary, Stacy!

You guys are killin' me!

Jannie....ripping one off...dog barking....lol!
The best I ever get out of my dog is a strange look...

Hot chili and a cervix....ohhhhhhh.....

Lori

I might regret this, as it goes on the web, but here goes. LOL. I have a real phobia about bugs. They give me the creeps. I am alot better about them now. But when I was younger I was a basket case.

Anyways, my husband and I went down to Florida to meet up with his parents at their Florida beach house (we had not been married more than a few years) and we were out in the yard near dusk cooking out. There came a huge black flying roach bug that flew down my shirt and I started screaming and ripping my top and bra off in front of my MIL, FIL, and husband. I know that thing was at least 3 inches long! Later I found out they call them Palmetto bugs. Dang, that scared me! But, That was sooooooooooo embarrassing!!!

Well, these stories are certainly entertaining - thanks for feeling close enough to us to share them!

Here's mine:

My first husband, a real sex fiend, and I had been married only a short while, and I was having 'newlywed' back pain, so rubbed Ben Gay ointment on my lower back. We went to bed and he decided to do our nightly 'spooning' position -he cozied up to my back, and having nothing to protect his family jewels, got the Ben Gay all over those 'jewels' - it was a miserable night for us - he was literally 'ON FIRE' for many hours!!!!

LOL, thanks for these funny stories. They really had me giggling, and haven't felt like giggling for a while. My DD heard this on the radio, so it isn't a personal story, but I thought it was funny.

A woman went to the Dr. for her gynecological exam. She was on the table with her knees up and the sheet partially covering her when he came in the room. He took one look at her and said "My aren't we fancy today."
Turns out when getting ready for her appointment, instead of grabbing the feminine spray.......she grabbed the glitter hair spray. Dottie

i got one,my 34 year old daughter went in a bathroom at a wedding reception,her aunt went along.She came out she said that pig I said what,she said aunt liz was farting and farting in bathroom,I said well maybe she cant help it.Well she says my minds changed about ole aunt liz.Well now Im older somnetimes bend over squeak...I told her oh no now Im doing it..
so about 2 weeks ago we were at a nursery,I didnt think anyone was behind me,never heard anyone well,one got out I moved here there was a nice looking man behind me,I could have crawled under the table.
Since Ive been on dialysis Im having problems,I think theyre getting air in there....
There about 10 years ago we were in a pretty fancy resturant,my daughter comes out of rest room laughing,here an elderly woman went to rest room and when she wiped the paper must not have tore,it was stuck in the back of her pants,she com e out with a toilet paper tail about 20' long.walking thru the resturant.

When I was a teenager, my whole class went to the local beach for an end-of-school picnic and swimming. Well, when I went to change back into my clothes after swimming, I saw my underpants draped over a post outside the dressing room. I considered just leaving them there and pretending they weren't mine, but what the heck would I tell my mother??

Does champagne give you cotton mouth? It sure does me! After a wedding reception the next AM I needed a coke BIG GULP at 7-11. I tossed on clothes, drove to 7-11, and bought one. I talked with the clerk for several minutes as I was sucking it down..
I went home, looked in the mirror (to see how bad I looked) and realized my knit blouse was on inside out tag in the front.

I almost had a horribly embarassing moment.
I went to a restroom yesterday on the way home from the beach.
A meal had hit my friend the wrong way and she went in a little while before me.
The bathroom had only two stalls. She was over there grunting. Uh uh uh. I almost kicked her foot and told her to stop grunting because she sounds like a pig.. Then I noticed the black shoes did not look like something she would wear.
I walked out and looked across the hall and there were 3 other stalls there. I saw my friend's feet! I would have died if I would have kicked that strangers foot.
As it was, I could not get out of there fast enough to keep from laughing (yes I washed my hands).

Oh my, how interesting!