It is so hard when you have to go threw your loved one's things. When doing it try to remember the good times you had with your Mom, this might make things a little easier. I know what you are going through because I had to do the same thing 6 months ago with my daughter's apartment, that is something I hope to never have to do again. My thoughts will be with you

Hugs and prayers for you all.

Kathy, I know how hard this is, absolutely heartbreaking. Stay strong, we are all thinking of you.

During my Mom's illness and subsequent death I didn't cry, but when getting rid of her things I thought I would never stop. Even now, 12 years later, I still tear up at the oddest moments. Wish I could talk to her one more time. .

Kathy, I'm so glad I happened upon your post; thank you for thinking of me. I asked about you a few weeks ago too, but you must not have seen it, I wish this site gave email notifications when someone posted to you.

I know the feeling of going through your mom's stuff. My mom lived in a 55 and over condo community. We had to get moving on it right away; most seniors don't want to move in the winter, so we had to get it on the market. That meant cleaning out her stuff within 5-6 weeks of her death. VERY difficult. Now it's just a house; not a home. :( I just pray it sells quickly.

The last two weeks have been especially rough; her birthday, the condo getting listed, and the 2 month anniversary of her death; all 3 days apart. I have cried more the last two weeks than the other 2 months put together. I still can't quite fathom that I will never see her again (at least in this life). I miss her so very much; there's a hole in my heart. :( Thank you God that I have an understanding, patient loving husband.

You're in my thoughts Kathy. Email me anytime! :)

juellie, I could have typed your last response. I can remember sitting on my front porch after dark, after my kids were in bed, wrapped up in a blanket as tight as I could pull it with my arms wrapped around my legs and just rocking.

I told my husband those exact words, I feel like there's this huge hole in me that I can't fill up. I feel empty.

I cried so hard, for so long I think it was starting to make me sick.

I wish no one had to face losing someone they love. It is a horrible, numbing pain. But it gets better. Just hang on, day in and day out. It will get better.

You just need time.

As you know I took care of my Mom for a long time and as her end neared I had already been giving away the clothes she would never wear again and emptying out drawers. After she died and the house was repainted I moved into my Mom's room and moved her dressers and drawers into the spare room. Took me a long time to go through her things to put into boxes or to get rid of - little trinkets she saved. In her jewelry box I found finger nail tips from her own fingers that she would use to glue back on whenever her long nails broke. I also found a gold covered tooth root and all in a little bottle of formaldehyde - how do you throw something like that away and then what am I supposed to do with it so it sits in a box of her little treasures. I did toss the nails out LOL

It will be 10 years in August and I still find it hard to get rid of something she really liked or that has a strong memory but it has gotten easier.

I am glad I didn't have to empty a house since she lived with me.

I am still trying to figure out what to do with that gold tooth. Makes me laugh because I never knew growing up she had a gold tooth.

You are both in my thoughts.

Anne

Hi Juelle and Kathy,
My step-father wanted me to clear Mom's closets and drawers and if there was anything I wanted, I could have, and pass the other things on.

I cried just sitting in her closet, remembering her in her everyday clothes, and dressed up for Mother's Day, etc.

In her her jewellery, I came across 2 brushed nickel hearts, one engraved with my name, and one with my niece (her only granddaughter). They were obviously meant for us for Christmas, they still had the little store sticker thing on. That sure set me off.

Memories, things, dates, times of season.....so many things trigger memories of our Mom. I can find something every single day to bring tears to my eyes. I miss her so much, too.

One of the "funnier" moments was when DH and I were at Bulk Barn. Every few weeks they have a $3 off coupon when you buy $10 so it's nice to take advantage of it. In the past I would stock up on brown sugar, oatmeal, etc etc for both of us.

The last time, I bought what I wanted and I was short the $10. So I ran and bought some more yeast (even though I didn't need it) to get to the $10 mark.

In the car, I wondered out loud why it was hard to get to the $10, and DH said, because we weren't buying for Mom at the same time.
Duh. Sob.

It will be a year on August 1.

Thank you katlan, and everyone, for the understanding. My mom was so vibrant and active that it's just unbelieveable that she's now at rest; a peaceful rest.

She was 72 years young and too care of all the "old" people in her condo complex. I never realized while she was alive how versatile she was; so knowledgeable about so many things. Wish I could've learned a little more from her before she passed. I had an awesome role model as a mom and a woman in general. I'm grateful. :)

Going through the very same thing with my dear sister in law. The house has sold and so we have all (her kids & us) been up there going through things. Been very tough, but we have had a few laughs too.
I'll be thinking of you going through this also....it is hard.

Oh so many losses...hugs.

So many memories and so much sorrow. At least with the passage of a year, my first thought in the morning is not "Mom is dead". I admit many times I picked up the phone and "talked" to her because I couldn't imagine she was not on the other end of the phone.

I saw a canister set at the Goodwill like mom had in the 70's and it stops me in my tracks. It seems like I am searching for her.
Yesterday, I turned on tv and her team the Orioles was playing. Today I turned on the tv and there they were again! And mom's favorite Kenny Chesney is playing near here. Too many reminders..

Kat I have done that rocking thing myself. After I shampooed the carpet I was up in bed and started sobbing. I came down on the couch and rocked and cried.

Thankfully, my collie came up and I hugged him. He has been a total blessing and I got him 2 weeks after mom died (she wanted to see him, but never did).

Juellie, my mom was active and popular and had beaten cancer 5 times, but it kept coming back and finally took her. Her cancer doc looked at her like she was a living miracle - and then one day he didn't.

Sorry I ramble on. I just don't want to believe it really happened.

Hugs to all and thanks..Kathy

May the peace of God come into the heart of each of you, increasingly, day by day, to bring a blessing.

One of the greatest tributes that we can pay to someone whom we loved and respected - and still do - is to fashion a way that, in our own style, we can carry on a passion like it in our own lives.

ole joyful

Oh Kathy; we both lost our loving moms, but in different ways. I know I never wanted to see my mom sick, but to talk to her at 11:30 am and she was dead at 1:00 pm, is hard to take too. I was supposed to spend the next day with here; we were finally taking the time for her to teach me to knit. She had foot surgery and was forced to be immobile for a few weeks. That's all that slowed her down. :) A blood clot got her before she could make it to her doctor appt. that afternoon to complain about being short of breath. :( She didn't suffer and for that I am forever grateful.

Thanks Ed. Mom left a lot of people missing her and I frequently hear my sense of humor came from her..
Hugs, Juelle...