Sad day for me.....(long post)

13 years ago

I help out my neighbour, with his Standardbred horses 3 mornings per week. He works there 7 days/week, and is usually home by noon. He's 70 and lives alone.

Yesterday I got an email from one of the other barn workers saying he hadn't come into the barn all day. It was evening when I saw the email, and I called him. No answer. His truck was in the parking lot.

I went to my nextdoor neighbour who has a key (We all live in an apartment building). We unlocked the door and the security chain was still secured. He hollered his name, and no answer.

I called the Super and he tried, then called the police.

The unit, fire department paramedics all came. Kicked the door in, and there was Bob. Died of a massive heart attack (I found out today).

I called his partner with the horses and informed him and told him I'd be going in all week to look after the horses. He was so grateful to me. He lives a distance away.

Anyway, I went in this morning and that's when it hit me. His stuff was there in the tackroom; I hugged the horses and cried and took care of them as usual. Wow. What a shock.

I have no idea what the owner is planning on doing with them. I'm going to miss them, if they get moved or someone else buys them or some other changes that don't involve me.

Sorry, just had to share my sorrow with you guys.

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Comments (36)

tammyms
13 years ago
I am so sorry. I hope things work out. ((jasdip))

Tammy
donna_loomis
13 years ago
So sorry you lost your neighbor and friend. And I'm sad that he died alone. My heart goes out to you. It's good of you to care for the horses until other arrangements can be made.
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Your first obligation is the safety of your family. It sounds like the aggression is not only food-related situations. From your post it sounds as if the aggression is not something that only occurs infrequently. It doesn't really matter why Belle is exhibiting this behavior, what matters is what you do about it. Scolding her and sending her to her crate is not going to stop the behavior. Life is hard and you have to do what is best for everyone. Perhaps Belle would be better off with an owner who lives alone. I have an old gal who has "bitten" two children at my home. She bit the first at about age 6 when she began having problems with pain from hip dysplasia. These two incidents were precipitated by the kids teasing my old gal (still not acceptable). Old gal has never broken the skin on a person, she just gives a warning bite when she's had enough. She has never shown agression toward myself, DH or my daughter. If she had shown any aggression to my daughter, she would have been rehomed. I would not put up with that worry of not knowing if and when she would bite again. My gal has been with me since she was 3 months old and was rescued by me from an abusive home 12 yrs. ago. We have made every accommodation so as not to put any child at risk. We have locked old gal up when children were visiting, etc. The last incident was about 5 yrs ago. We had a family over for a bbq and swimming in the pool. Old gal knows that when there is company at the pool, she won't be swimming. All 3 dogs were in the yard, occasionally running up and down the fence line while we were in the pool. My friend's son kept putting his arm through the fence gate teasing with old gal. She just gave a bite on the top of his arm. No skin broken, but I was very concerned about the child and my old gal. I feel the parents weren't watching the child, but on the other hand, I should have been in control of my dog. She has never since been in a room with a child unaccompanied. This particular child had a small bruise on his upper arm. I felt as did the child's parents that if my old gal really wanted to, she could have torn the child's arm off before we could be up out of a chair and to the situation. She gave a warning bite and let go. (still not a great scenario) My nephew and neice 9 and 6 have been around old gal since they were babies and they know not to sit on her or tease her. There have never been any incidents with them. It seemed to be a stranger thing. Kids who were not common to our house. I did have our trainer come over and work with old gal after the last incident. This was about 5 yrs ago we started working with her again. We went back to her initial training and started reinforcing her with the common commands, sit, stay, come, etc. The trainer did comment that old gal was picking up on my anxiety about the children visiting and I needed to change some of my behavior when people visited with children. I haven't had anymore incidents, but I will say that the kids are older now that come to the house. There seems to be a problem with a certain size/age children with dogs that bite. They feel threated for some reason. A pack thing apparently as explained by the vet. I don't know how old your daughter is, or your dog (what breed), but I don't think I would keep Belle. You were very lucky that she didn't bite your daughter's face. She may not, but then again, there are no guarantees with a dog that bites. The aggression shown by Belle is directed at your husband and child (living in the house full time). I just wouldn't take the chance. I knew my old gal hadn't shown any aggression toward any of us and has never made any signs of aggression toward any extended family member. I guess what I am saying is - do you want to worry about your daughter's well being constantly? You also have to worry about anytime she may have a friend visit. It is a difficult situation to deal with. If you cannot make it 100 percent safe for your daughter and any other person visiting your home, you need to seriously think about finding a new home for Belle. Have you spoken to a professional about this behavior? There are alot of behavior specialists who you could consult for answers to what is best. I wish you the best of luck. I haven't been exactly where you have been since old gal hasn't ever been aggressive with DD, but I have experienced another parent's anxiety when old gal did her warning bite. Not good.
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juellie1962
13 years ago
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend! How sad that he was alone; and what a shock for you! I hope the horses stay nearby; they will be a comfort!
Toni S
13 years ago
I'm sorry you had to find Bob that way, but I'm glad you took the time that evening to check things out. It's sad to lose your friend and possibly a job your fond of on top of it.
My sympathy to you.
Marilyn Sue McClintock
13 years ago
Oh Sherry, I am so sorry to hear of this. I know how much you loved taking care of the horses and that you cared for your friend. ((jasdip))

Sue
Cherryfizz
13 years ago
Aww how sad. I am sorry you lost your friend.

Anne
Jamie_LA
13 years ago
So Sooo Sorry!!
socks
13 years ago
Jasdip, what a shock, and how you'll miss him. You are so kind to keep up with the horses. He would so appreciate that.

Jasdip, my co-worker's parents are both in the hospital--one with a stroke, the other with a blood clot in the leg. They are both confused. It's a shock to everyone to lose this friend as you did, but he did not suffer as many others do. Not very comforting, I know, but something to think about.

Deepest consolences.
nanny98
13 years ago
How very sad for you. I have a former son-in-law in a similar situation with 30+ horses and alone....very much alone. I worry about him, so your story hits home here. What a very good friend you are to him and his "family". I am sure that he is grateful for your caring. (((Hugs))) Nanny
mcmann
13 years ago
That is just so sad. Sometimes I think it's more difficult when it's so sudden. I'll be thinking of you.
gadgets
13 years ago
No need to apologize for sharing your sorrow with us. One of the things I like about the KT is that we get so much support (most of the time) from each other. I'm sorry to hear of your loss, both of the neighbor and possibly your animal friends.

Shirley
trinitytx
13 years ago
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. You are very kind to keep the horses tended to. Bless you.

Trin
cynic
13 years ago
That is so sad. I can imagine the things running through your mind in that time frame. It's bad enough when we receive bad news but the anticipation and imagining all the possibilities, and often the mind wanders to the worst and it really stresses one out.

If there is a good part though, he apparently didn't suffer which should be a comfort, though it's still sad to lose a good friend.

Hope all is well for you and yours Jasdip. Take care.
suzieque
13 years ago
Oh, I'm so sorry. Very sad, indeed, and how wonderful that you are there and will look after the horses. I can imagine that it'll grip you each time you go over. I send you my sympathy and respect.
glenda_al
13 years ago
Just give you a great big (((((((Jasdip))))))
wildchild
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.
gemini40
13 years ago
oh this is so sad.I am so sorry for your loss.

june
patti43
13 years ago
That must have been such a shock! You are so sweet to offer to take care of the horses. I don't know how many there are, but even one is quite a lot of work. ((Jasdip)) and I guess your name fits today. Hope tomorrow is better for you.
taigen_gw
13 years ago
So sorry for your loss, it must have been so very upsetting to have gone through. Hugs to you and I hope the owner keeps in mind all the kind souls who have been helpers along the way.
Jasdip
Original Author
13 years ago
Thanks so much for your wishes. Sure brings tears to read your kind words and see your hugs.

His sister and son were over today to the apartment. I spoke to his sister and she was thrilled to meet me.

Bob had pancreatic cancer couple years ago, and he was feeling crappy....nauseous extremely tired and lethargic. He called me the other nite saying that he felt that way when he had cancer and was afraid it was coming back. She thinks he might have had a mini-heart attack and didn't know it.

I mentioned that one day last week he just sat on the chair all morning and watched me while I tended the horses. He felt awful. Right away she said "Oh yes! He called me and said how bad he felt while you were doing all the work and he wasn't able to do anything. He said that I was a blessing to him and he couldn't do it without me.

I felt really good hearing that. Just last week he asked if I would work more than the 3 days, but my other work won't let me. Anyway, it's nice to know how he felt, and right away his son and sister knew about me, when I said I worked with the horses with him.

I mentioned earlier that I would work all this week....that's true, but in truth, I'll work as long as I'm needed, whatever it takes. I don't know what the future holds for the horses (or me) but they aren't going unloved, that's for sure.

Thanks again (((((KT))))
kacram
13 years ago
I'm so very sorry, dippy.
Oakley
13 years ago
What a great friend you had made though! Sorry about your loss. :(
alisande
13 years ago
That's so sad. The horses are lucky to have your good care at this time.
lynn_d
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, Jasdip, but what a good friend you are.
joann23456
13 years ago
I'm so sorry you lost your friend. It's great you're caring for his horses, though.
lindyluwho
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. What a great comfort you must be to his family at this sad time.

Linda
nanatricia
13 years ago
I am so very sorry for your loss ! I do understand the pain !
May God ease your pain .
Granlan_TX
13 years ago
So very sad, Jasdip. :(

What a blessing you were to your dear friend and still are to those precious horses.
itsmesuzq
13 years ago
You are a very special lady...I'm sure Bob is looking down and smiling. His beloved horses are loved and tended too and his wonderful friend is doing what made him happy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Bob's family.

Susan
jel48
13 years ago
I'm so sorry you lost your friend. He must have been a very nice man, for you to care for him that much. I hope there is some way you will be able to keep helping out with the horses. I love horses too, and know how much you will miss them if you're not able to be around them.
marilyn_c
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. As a horse lover myself, I know your concern for them, and I hope it works out that his partner will be able to keep them.
chisue
13 years ago
My sympathy for your sudden loss. It's good to keep busy caring for the horses. You're able to DO something that your friend would appreciate. I imagine his horses miss him too. At least they have YOU!
jemdandy
13 years ago
That was a traumatic experience.

Its too bad they kicked in the door. In this particular circumstance, they could have cut the security chain. If the chain was too hard for their cutters, a griding disc will make short work of it.

The family was lucky to have a caring individaul such as you to alert the authorties.
teresava
13 years ago
I am sorry to hear about your friend. You are very kind to have helped him and the horses.
vicki_lv_nv
13 years ago
Bob will rest in peace knowing he had such a caring and wonderful friend in you. You will be looked upon through the stars, which are windows that our loved ones and friends peer through, to show us they are well.

You and Bob's family are in my thoughts.
liz
13 years ago
awww Jas...I'm so sorry this happened...I can only imagine how hard this has been on you and what a wonderful person you are helping out with those beautiful creatures...ya'll are in my thoughts and prayers...

Sad day for me.....(long post)

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