I wouldn't go get the item.
And I wouldn't apologize either, especially because it's you that's doing him a favor...not the other way around.
If he wants your donation he'll come get it.

Just my opinion.

Lori

I quit an Avon lady for exactly the same reason, Judy. She wanted me to meet her at a local mall, at a time that was convenient for her but not so much for me. So I cancelled the order and never went back.

You've learned a valuable lesson, tho. Next time someone wants to sell you something like that, you can mention it up front ... oh, I'd love to have one of those Boston Butts, when can you bring it by the house? Or ... in this case ... how about we pick it up from church on Sunday? That way, it's clear to everybody from the beginning.

I agree. It should be delivered to you.
Leslie

No, you shouldn't have to pick it up and no, the parent should not be selling it to you. This is the childs team project and she should have contacted you for the sale. This happens to be one of my pet peeves and I know I'm going to step on toes here. I've lost count of the number of boxes of chocolate some parent in the office has sold for their child. Or the number of times they bring a catalog to work and pass it around for you to choose a crappy gift at twice the price to help their kid raise money for some school or athletic project. Stop doing your kids job for them. Help them if you must by taking them to friends an coworkers homes but do not go to the door or sell the items for them. Help them deliver when the time comes but make them take it to the door and thank the "customer" for their help. This rates right up there with parents who do their kids homework for them. Just wrong.

I agree with the above replies...he should bring it to you.

I agree. Sorry, but THEY are selling and you're kind enough to buy. Yep, the seller should deliver.

He should drive his child and do what Pris said. IMHO, that takes a lot of nerve to ask to to buy something that I'm sure was not cheap and then treat the "customers" like that. Shame on him!!! I think I'd be tempted to call him back and say just that!

i'm rather sad you can't have any compassion for your pastor. the extra time and gas you're asking him to use very well might be a trip to a shut-in or visit to a member of your church in the hospital...

and to the buyers from parents at work, how would you, in this day and age, like your kids going to complete strangers houses selling cookies? do you know who lives in your neighborhood?

if you don't want to support youth programs, that's ok, don't...but i'd just as soon support these programs as to support juvenile detention centers...

I think they should deliver the item to you. I sell Avon and I always deliver the orders to my customers, whether they want me to bring them to their home, work or a coffee shop.
Unfortunely in this day and age, kids can't go door to door selling the fund raiser product and its up to the parents to bring the stuff to work and sell the product.

As the parent of the child selling the items, he should deliver the goods that people were kind enough to buy. I've never heard of anyone having to go pick up the stuff. It would be okay for people to pick it up at the church on Sunday if they have the space, since people are going there anyway. Why don't you call back and offer to do that? Maybe others are too.Parents usually stand back at the sidewalk here if kids are selling door to door.

Co-Workers kids sold butts last year..and they were DELIVERED to the buyers! It's not your place to pick it up!

Well I guess we do it different down around here. When groups are selling butts, the person that ordered them PICKS them up from the location of the grilling. Can you imagine how much time it would take to hand deliver all the meat?? What is a person suppose to do with the meat if Aunt Sue forgot and wasn't home?? What about the proper handling of cooked meat?? What if someone got sick? The group would then be sued.

I think that if you want to know how your cooked meat was handled you should pick it up yourself. Then you know that it was out of the cooler for 30 minutes.

I think delivering Avon etc..is a whole different category and can't be compared to cooked food. That Avon will last and anyone that won't bring it to the customer is just trying to save themselves time and gas money. But like I said..makeup doesn't compare to food..

Judy, if this were just a friend selling this, would you tell them to deliver it? Or is it because it is your Pastor that you wouldn't want to cause a problem? I think he should deliver it, or if the daughter is old to drive, then she could, and if it were me, I would tell him so.

He/she could probably deliver some others on the way to your house, too.

Hope it will be good when you get it!

Sue

What in the world is a Boston Butts?

I agree, in most cases you're purchasing an overpriced item when kids are selling things. The least they can do is deliver it.

I quit my Avon lady long ago. She was the mother of my daughter's close friend. I placed plenty of orders with her. I'd go to her house to pick up my orders (she lives close and our daughters often played together). I'd pay by check. Never a problem until... One day, she gave me an order book and said "You didn't pay for your last order."I said, yes I did, I gave you a check. She said she lost the check, I should have noticed when it never posted. I went home and checked my bank statements and she was right. I got cash and paid her. But since when is it my responsibility to see if my checks get cashed? My feelings were hurt so I sytopped ordering from her. I found someone else who sold Avon.

If you're talking about a FROZEN butt, MAYBE I'd want him to deliver it, but if you're talking about refrigerated, or just cooked butt, I would definitely want to pick it up myself, as littlebit said. In fact, I would want to see it come right off the grill or out of the refrigerator.

I agree.....it should be delivered to you. If he doesn't I would take off gas money.

Not sure I'd want to buy something that can spoil in this manner. But I think you're being pretty generous to go pick it up. I do think I'd do as suggested and see if you could pick it up at the church. Seems to make sense to me. I'm surprised it wasn't handled that way in the first place. They should have made it clear up front that you have to come to them. Most places do.

I never minded when they'd bring the stuff to the office. I actually wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies when they'd have them but that didn't happen too often. And I'll say most people I worked with were pleasant about not trying to make you feel you had to buy something or pressure you, unlike the jokers in charge of the United Fund "pledge" extortions. But that's another story.

Jannie, I think that was low-class to lose the check and then accuse you of not paying! Why not just say, hey, I'm embarrassed to say I lost your check, could you write me another one? Then decide if you trust her if she finds the other check or she should pay a stop payment fee. I would definitely never deal with someone like that again.

peoniesandposies - too funny! As I was reading this thread, I was thinking "What in the world is a Boston Butt"??? And then I got to your message that said the exact same thing. I have no idea. And I'm from Boston.

Everyone else seems to know it as a common word, so I guess you and I are the only ones in the dark. From what I'm reading, my mouth is not watering, though.

Whether or not you should pick it up or the pastor should deliver, I would usually expect that purchased things are delivered by the seller. I really don't know in this case, though. Is it perishable? Can it wait until Sunday so you can do the exchange at church?

S

Boston Butt is a cut of pork that comes from the upper part of the shoulder from the front leg and may contain the blade bone.
Good BBQing

Here is a link that might be useful: Boston Butt

I've bought Boston Butts at the grocery before and always thought it came from the back leg. Wonder why it's called butt? That's strange.
I've never heard of them being sold like that. Are they frozen, refrigerated or cooked?
And to answer the question...I would think that the seller would deliver, or else they should have told you when you bought it that it must be picked up.

Hi catlady ... is it true that you have 15 of 'em??

I think that the onus is on the seller to deliver, and he should at least have asked whether it might be convenient for you to pick it up .. in the absence of which offer, I think that he should feel an obligation to deliver: you're doing him a favour, after all - at his (or his kid's) request.

Being frugal, I don't like to make special trips, but try to arrange to carry out several items of business during one tour.

Negotiate ... negotiate ... can he deliverr it, when making a call in your area? Or can you meet somewhere, at a time convenient to both? Or you get it at church, or when doing other business or going to a meeting nearby?

As for the lost cheque.

The seller asked you to purchase product, you agreed, received the product and gave her a cheque: contract completed.

If you'd given her a $20. bill and she lost it, would she say the same?

Having lost your cheque, it's up to her to ask you to pay a second time ... and how can you be sure that, when she finds the cheque, she won't cash it? As someone has suggested, how would she react if you were to suggest that you'd pay her a second time ... if she agreed that you deduct the price of putting a "Stop payment" on the cheque?

If she objects, say that, as far as you're concerned, she was paid, so unless she's willing to accept the deduction, she'd better get busy and find the lost cheque.

(Maybe you should suggest that, since the uncashed cheque has been a nuisance in your making reconiliation of your accounts, week by week/month by month, that you feel that you should charge a small fee for each week/month that it just sits there uncashed.

Like some of those "gift cards" issued by stores, malls, etc. ... that shrink every month after six or so that they remain unused.

Bottom line: she ... was ... paid!!

Isn't it interesting the mental gymnastics that some will go through and the lengths to which they'll go to find someone else to blame for their shortcomings??

Good wishes for no shortcomings in your life ... for the rest of this week, at least!

ole joyful

Maryanne,
Here when someone does a fundraiser for BB, it is usually cooked/smoked on a grill. I personally don't but the butts because my DH can buy one from the store and grill it for a whole lots less than $25. and most time his is better..
When you purchase one.. the ticket will say something like
1 Boston Butt or BBQ bologna etc.. To be picked up at * location* from 10am-4pm on Sat July the 4th.. When you pull up, the men are still grilling. You walk up hand the people the ticket and get whatever you ordered.
It a killer way to make LOTS of money. Butts are usually on sale for about 99 cents a pound and weigh about 5-6 pounds. I am sure buying in bulk gets the price even lower. but most people would rather buy them cooked then have to deal with them on the grill for the 10 hours that it takes to cook them.

littlebit

I guess it depends on the product. If it is perishable I would almost prefer that I pick it up... you wouldn't want him out in one day delivering all 50 orders to everyone he knows in a large city. And, I doubt he could really plan 50 separate trips... but if it's like GS cookies, he could more easily deliver them.

For our school fundraisers, we go to school to pick up the products.. perishable or not. It's just too much cooridinating to do otherwise.

It would be nice for him to deliver, but I'm not really sure it's to be expected.

If your pastor sold 30 to 40 cooked boston butts can you imagine how long it would take to deliver them? Let's say he only sold 15 boston butts. The hours of delivery, or Mr. or Mrs. So and So is not Home, or just the problems with knowing where everyone lives. That would be an impossible task. MHO
I think you should have done your homework a little better. But saying that, I have done the same thing and have gotten so aggravated at myself for not questioning more, but in this incidence I can Fully understand your pastors perspective in not delivering the boston butts. It is just so much easier for everyone to come and pick up their own butt. I do hope his son/daughter was in the thick of the action as far as working and helping her father all day with cooking and Bar-b-queing. I think that will be a wonderful learning experience for the team and family. Good for him. He sounds like a wonderful man and father. Blessings!!!!!

Darleen

Littlebit, thanks for the explanation. We have lots of fund raisers here, but never one to sell BBs. In that case it sounds like they are meant to be picked up at the grilled location.

I think that how you were to receive the Boston Butt should have been made clear before you made the purchase. If he didn't make it clear, it was up to you to ask, IMHO. As for picking them up at church, if this was a personal fundraiser and not a church fundraiser, then that would be totally inappropriate. The church should not be used for personal gain.

Helen

"Boston Butt" comes from the shoulder. It is a regional colloquialism. Around where I live it is always referred to as "Shoulder".

I looked up the term and apparently they are called 'butts' because of the method of storage. I know that hams are called butts sometimes.

Here is a link that might be useful: Butt

How could he possibly deliver?

I really don't see how he could--nor how anyone could expect him to deliver that many items. You're talking about something perishable, that needs refrigeration. Even with a cooler, he could only carry a few at a time, he'd be constantly running out and back to reload. Unless he owns a refrigerated truck, where he could load the whole load and store them safely, believe me, you do NOT want him to deliver your product, especially if you happen to be at the end of his route, on a hot day.... you might end up with a very unsafe piece of meat, that you wouldn't be comfortable feeding your family at all.

I'm drooling. I'm in Fla and it's 90 degrees.
I would stop, drop and travel 20 minutes for Barbeque Butt.
With a pickle,a little slaw and sweet tea....heavenly!

I don't think this has anythign to do with not having compassion - on your part.

It's a business deal where he wants something from you and you are willing to give it to him - where the compassion comes in is that you are willing to pay more for it than it's actually worth to benefit him personally.

I think that to sell these things was a mistake in the first place, it should have been non-perishables. But since it wasn't, borrowing ice chests and buying ice to deliver really is the answer. You already did him the favor he was asking you to do - it is up to him to make the purchase as easy as possible.

I really think he is expecting too much, maybe because he *is* a Pastor he feels he is entitled.

Frankly,were he merely just another a neighbor selling to friends and business associates for the same purpose, I'm betting he would have borrowed those ice chests.

I agreed with "it should be delivered" until I read littlebit's comments about meat. I'd pick it up this time, then not buy it again if it was inconvenient.....

Since we do not eat pork, I would not have that problem, BUT, when we did selling stuff, our kids would take the orders and I delivered. Also sold Avon for 10 years, and always delivered, even if it was only a tube of lipstick. But that is why I stopped. Too many of the people would just order one or two things.
I too feel bad for the schools etc because they are "forced" to take catalogs etc around/work to sell stuff a person can buy so much cheaper. I have always felt there are other ways to earn money for schools instead of selling cookie dough, pop corn, for such high prices.

Sorry I am just getting back here to read and reply.We had a busy day.
Not sure where to start answering so I will tell you how it ended up working out.Greg drove with me to pick my boston but up.It was very good..Very moist and no fat like we like them.I thank you all for your replys on my post.I still will not order any thing else because even though It was good.I still think he should have deliever them.Just my thought.Like I stated in my first post.No feelings were hurt.I was never mad just disappointed that we had to go pick them up.But we all love one another and we do not hold a grudge.Its not nothing like that.I just wanted to see what everone thought since they asked us to order one.Now I will say this I should have had that cleared before we placed a order with him that way we would have to come pick them up.That way Greg and I would have know when the day and time to get them we would have to set a side time to go pick it up. Anyways thanks so much for replying,.I was over whem how many replys I got.Yall are the greatest.At the end we all love the meat.Dakato[the little girl's name] made a sell to help her get to the world's series.We are happy now and FULL;LOL.Have a great nite.