Just on the topic of pianos. Our piano, a Mason and Hamlin 7 foot grand, is the most expensive thing in my house, but DH plays it. He loves it and it's important to him. He is a good musician. We bought it when we had absolutely no money, but it was a once in a lifetime find, and it is still his dream piano. We were in the piano business a while ago, tuning, reconditioning, rebuilding and refinishing. Make sure you get a good reputable piano technician to go over the piano from top to bottom.
On the topic of money, we spent more than I expected on the kitchen. The counters and BS were 2K more than I thought,and while we were at it we added a sink in the basement, and a gas generator. We lose power all the time. Then there was the leak in a water pipe behind the wall that had rotted out 2x4s and the bottom plate and the electrical problem and my $1000 dental bill, not covered, and then 8 snow tires and some car thing for $3000. All in the same month as the kitchen. So we are down a big lot of money. I'm trying not to worry and I do love that kitchen. I am rationalizing by telling my self that money in the bank earns next to nothing, but a new kitchen is a good investment in the house, especially since we intend to stay here and prices will go up again someday.

For me, it's usually a matter of how much I need the item (like a new furnace) and wanting good quality, whether it's the product, the service, or both.

When it comes to more of a luxury item, rather than a necessity, I probably have an easier time spending money on those I love, than myself. Although, I do make an exception for my roses...but I consider those an investment! LOL

Good luck with your piano purchase. I hope you can get it, in time for the holidays :)

I can speak to this because our soapstone and frig were HUGE splurges for us. I'm not from the have alot of disposable income camp. But I did have some cash. And I spent it on these items. Actually...my hood was a splurge for me too. I thought long and hard about these expenditures. I researched for a long long LONG time. In the end; these items met all my criteria. Were there other items that could have done the job? Absolutely. But asthetically and functionally, the other less expensive choices did not offer exactly what I wanted. I could have easily spent half and had the money to do my master bath and bought some new furniture. I'm willing to wait on the other items to get exactly what I want. I will not feel guilty for spending more then most do in the area I live. It's our money and we have worked hard for it. I don't buy jewelery, clothes, take fancy vacations. The one thing I won't do is incur debt. I'll live with the nasty old tile in the master bath until I have the cash to buy whatever tile I so choose with cash. I re-purpose where ever I can and have been pretty creative in doing so. I don't know anything about pianos or their price points except to say I know they are expensive. They are not a priority to me but if they were I would not hesitate to pull the triger. That's not to say I wouldn't feel conflicted. I did on our soapstone. It was twice the price of my cabinets (almost). I pondered and we discussed until I felt that no other product would give me exactly what I wanted. Continue your research and discussions until you feel sure that this particular piano (or anything else for that matter) is the one that meets your criteria. If so, then move forward and don't look back and enjoy your purchase. I marvel at how I love my purchases every single day. I appreciate and am grateful that I had the ability to make those purchases. So maybe that's it. Feel grateful and if you can reconcile the expense...move on. Then ENJOY!!

"I am uneasy when the amount is that much! I am afraid of making a mistake. I am afraid of not spending enough money and hating something that is of poor quality or does not meet my expectations. I am also afraid of spending too much money for the value of the thing. I am afraid of being taken for a ride by a salesperson. You name it. I have the fear and I have trouble committing!"

I have many of the same feelings. The only way that I can overcome them is take my time and to research, completely learn the product. I would never trust a salesman to, in essence, select for me. Many salespeople really know their products and just as many don't.

We also have a motto for special items: Don't Settle

That doesn't have to mean top of the line. However if you research the products, you'll learn what you want in the process -- then select accordingly. If you don't settle, you'll never be disappointed. So far that has worked well for us.

I resonated with so much that you said! I could easily have written your paragraphs 3, 4 and 5 about myself, thought for thought! So, first, know that you are not alone in your anxiety or your decision process.

I scrimp on a lot of things and take pride in saving money on a lot of things -- I get my hair cut at Supercuts, I have forsworn pedicures, never do facials or massages (though I would like to). We cook at home nearly all the time and I make just about everything from scratch. This is as much because I prefer my own cooking and enjoy my meals in my own quiet dining room more than eating food prepared by others in noisier surroundings. So take it from whence it comes -- I'm rather strange!

But I am insistent about having really good things, in a few areas. My small closet is nowhere near filled. I wear only jeans and boots and sweaters, but they're really nice jeans and boots and sweaters. I have a very good watch which I have been wearing every day for over twenty years.

When it comes to large purchases, I make myself go through the discipline of waiting, to see if the desire persists. I try to imagine having something of lesser quality (this never proves to be the correct route for me). I wait until I am sure. Sometimes I have missed out on something I wanted to buy when it became available at a good price. I didn't go for it because I wasn't sure I really had to have it. I have regretted it sometimes. But there are always more. Always.

I would say that if you feel strongly that this is a piano you really love -- and buying a piano is a hugely personal process -- I have a 1970 Steinway -- then go for it. That it is a piano tells me that you play and have spent years playing, and you have been thinking about this for a long time. The anxiety about spending money is inevitable, and, really, a good thing. The fact that you have that anxiety and are driving an old car (as am I) means you have the cash for the piano. Why shouldn't you get to make that choice? Have courage!

PS If it is a wonderful piano you would most likely be able to resell it if you ever wanted to.

Kaismom, I think we're alike. I'm like you, months of agonizing. I don't buy myself jewelry (ever), nice clothes (almost never), etc. I do invest in my house and kitchen, but not in me normally. And I just this week made a decision to spend a lot on a non-essential item for me. Are you anything like this:

I make a decision to spend a lot of money slowly and methodically. In early August I saw an original painting that I really liked in a gallery (I was in the gallery getting a batik I've had for 20+ years framed, finally). I stood staring at the painting in the gallery for 15 minutes I think. Walked away, as it was too expensive and we still have many expensive things yet to do to the house.

A month later, I finally went back in to pick up my now framed Russian batik. The painting was still there. Another 15 minutes in front of it. Talked to the woman working in the gallery about why I loved it, talked about the artist, a young woman from Montreal. I walked away again, too much money.

But she (it is a painting of a woman's face) stayed with me. I researched the artist. Then set it aside. When December arrived and I was still staring at a picture of the painting on the web whenever I had the chance, I started researching again. Talked to a friend who used to work in a gallery. She used to sell the artists' work, explained to me why if I really loved I should get it as it was a relatively safe "investment" piece. So like you with your piano, I researched. I asked questions. I went back and visited.

Last step (easier for you and your piano) I worked out how to pay for it. I didn't have the cash readily available, but this is a big gallery and I could pay over 12 months, no interest, which I could do pretty easily. So I identifed my "source of funds", budgeted, figured how where I had to save over the next year, and started to implement my budget.

DH along with DS went and purchased it Sunday, it arrived at my home yesterday. She is stunning. I'm thrilled to the point of tears. But I had to go through all that time and those steps before I could justify it to myself.

Have you actually played the piano you are thinking about buying? Can you talk to someone to assure you of its quality? If you have that, I think you might be ready. Good luck.

OMG I have played every piano for sale in town for the past 12 months or more. I am not a good pianist by any means but I really NEED a new piano because my current one is ready for the graveyard! I don't need to get a piano this nice but my DH's argument is that you can easily afford it, why not!
In someways, we both have trouble spending... My DH looked for more than 2 years to find a saleboat that he wanted. I gave him an ultimatum to get a boat because we were subletting our slip for more than year....
My DH too has given me the ultimatum to pick a piano before christmas... He is tired of traipsing around town and looking at pianos, I guess.
I guess many of us are all cut from the same mold. If one is a spendthrift, one would not be on this forum.

I was thinking that I would get a used piano. I think I am on a path to a brand new one, a German made one....

Several years ago I got myself completely out of debt. Paid off house and everything. It's amazing how fast the cash piles up when you have no debt. But one thing I learned shortly afterward... it's very easy to spend credit, and it's very very hard to spend cash. The thought of parting with tens of thousands in cold hard cash is incredibly difficult if you're not filthy rich. Spending the same in credit is much easier. Too easy for most.

I think you're very fortunate to be able to buy a piano new and for your own use!
I have 5k bequest from my grandmother. I've spent 3 years deciding what to do with this gift. I have decided to I want my daughter to have a piano. She is only 8, but has been playing for 2 years. She loves it, I never have to prompt her to practice. Additionally, she as repeatedly asked to add another instrument (steel drums or harp) and we have told her that after 5 years of piano she can add a second instrument.

So, I can accept the gift of my mother 50 year old mahogany CableNelson -somewhat battered and scratched - spinet. It will clash with my house, and my relationship with my mom was very difficult as a kid, so things that belong to her seem to come with some emotional baggage for me. But I'm a grown up, and have pretty well put that behind me, and a piano tuner confirmed that it is in good shape for an entry level piano, and the piano is free and could be a gift from grandma to granddaughter. Oh but my stepdad smoked and my moms house smells kind of doggy, will those odors come with it?

Or I could buy dd a used one. I'd like black. But I think glossy black might look like a brightly shined tuxedo shoe in my jeans and sweaters casual house. And I'm really anxious that i might waste the money on an unsound piano. Thus the lucky you for new piano comment!

And for example, on Craigslist now, there are two black Yamaha uprights.
A 10 year old u100, frequently tuned with a few cosmetic scratches.
A 25 year old u1e, seldom used and but tuned regularly in very good condition.
Which would be a better use of the money if the u1e turns out to be a better piano than the u100 model? Quality versus age, which one wins?
And is either piano that much better for a child than my mom's?

Not to mention the 500 other pianos on Craigslist. Free ones even.

And add that I don't play piano, but will start next summer. So I''m flying blind here. So I need a piano tech. And I begin to research piano techs.

And that's the crux of it....... I am simultaneously soothed and paralyzed by the amount of available information! And that's why I love and fear the gardenweb forums. Whatever informed decision I arrive at, an available opposite opinion, or at least one that offers three possible refinements is always out there.

Or I could invest it in her college fund. But I might be denying her a music scholarship down the road.......

SO, the way I make decisions is internal bipartisan committe, complete with obstructive tactics and filibustering. After suitably long intervals, an external influence will force my decision. Im hoping to adopt a better strategy from this thread!

It's not how well you play a piano, but how often, and with how much joy.

In answer to your question How do you make a decision to spend a lot of money?, it's a matter of what I want more--the return on the money, or what the money can buy. The problem with credit card parking stalls is that one has to guess ahead of time, and can't add more money until the time is up. I played it safe today and wasted $3. Why spend it? The price of a parking ticket is something like $60. The extra seems worth it. I don't worry so much about the big bucks, for some reason, but paying $2 extra for a box of soda or $3 for an extra hour and a half that I didn't need because my hairdresser wasn't running late...

Compared to a sailboat, a quality piano should should last at least as long, with far less maintenance, and, since it's indoors, it can be played in just about any weather.

The person who needs the best instrument isn't the master. A master can play anything. It isn't the apprentice. An apprentice can't tell the difference and doesn't have the skill to make the most of it. Someone who knows how to use it, but whose playing will really be enhanced by a really good instrument, is the one who needs it. Sounds like you.

How do I make the decision? I figure out how much the item will cost over a reasonable time period. $3 per day? $20? $100? I think about if I can afford to replace it if something should happen to it. I sit on the decision long enough to have the impulse go away. If I keep coming back to it, it probably means I really want it. But if I'm not 100% sure, even when I decide "yes", I look for portents. When roadblocks come up, I tend to take it as a sign to walk away. I don't mean I think there's anything supernatural there. Just that if I have to work too hard to achieve a big purchase that's giving me some pause, I haven't regretted giving up at the first impediment. I'm might decide I really did want it down the road, but that's another thing for another day.

Of course, looking for an impediment doesn't always work. I had fallen in love with a piece of art when it was first shown but I couldn't dream of dropping the cash on it. Several years later I saw it again in a pictorial of the artists' work. Six months after that I was still thinking about it. So I figured I'd call the artist's representatives and see if it was available, thinking it would be long gone. It was available. For a large, but accessible price. A sign that I should own it. I was still short of liquid cash, so paid it off in chunks, but it's wonderful over my mantel.

money is wasted on kitchen renovations. If one doesn't care about a "return", then so what. Just be realistic.Homework is essential. I like to save money because I don't like the anxiety that is happening now about the future. A little extra money stashed away is a security thing. But I'd like to think the future holds promise-not sure about that. I'd buy luxury, high quality cushiony socks and hold off on the new winter boots for another year... Got rid of all but 1 winter coat which is over 30 y old..but it's going fine with a little repair to the lining. It's about mindset.

How you grew up and with how much money shapes your adulthood in so many different ways. In my family, I am one of four children. My father struggled to make ends meet. My oldest sister had it the hardest as our family income was the lowest during her childhood. (She is seven years older than I)
She is married to a dentist and she herself is accomplished in the computer field, yet if you saw the way she dressed or visited her home you think that this is a struggling family! Because she never worked through the self esteem issues that lack of money can sometimes cause, I feel she is not happy today.
There are some people who take pride in how little they spend and I think if they are happy with their lifestyle, then fine. It is a choice which is a different story.
I have been through therapy and I think I have found a balance when spending money.
You might value from therapy and get to the deeper issues.
plllogs said it so well. It is all about the JOY. My wish for you is to buy a piano that will bring you years of joy with no baggage attached..

This is a story that speaks to me. We have had almost the exact same thing happen in our household but with a few twists (it happened over 20 years ago).

My DH, a lawyer, was working for my Dad and making an okay salary but we had 5 kids in 7 years and, kids being pretty expensive, we were just barely getting by. Anyway, hubby was always going to auctions of businesses going out of business - mostly to buy things (equipment) for work. One time he saw a music store going out of business and he said "I'm going over there. Some of these kids are going to want to play instruments and maybe I can pick up a trumpet of a flute for a few dollars."

So, off he goes. Comes back three hours later practically jumping out of his skin. He had bid on and won an antique 9 foot Steinway Concert Grand "D" piano! This is one of the very best pianos made. Unfortunately his bid was $6000. And we DID NOT HAVE $6000! We had to borrow the money from my Dad (he was not too happy).

On top of the money thing, we now had to find a place to put this piano (9feet is nothing to sneeze at) and we were living in a small, 3 bedroom, split level (with 5 kids). The only place that made sense was the family room as it was on the ground floor (important for moving pianos!) but it took up more than half of the room!

We lived like that for 8 years. The good news is that DH is an excellent pianist and 3 of the 5 kids took lessons and are solid musicians. We eventually bought a bigger house but our main criteria for the purchase was "does it have a place for the piano?". seven years ago we put on an addition of a large family room, a wine room, a bar, and another bathroom. We designed a bay area with window seats all the way around to house the piano. We then had it refurbished and placed in it's new home, polished and gleaming. When we have parties, or even when all our kids come home, we sit in the bay and sing along as DH plays!

Although at the time that he bought it I could have killed him, that piano has enriched our lives immeasurably over the years. And, BTW, we had it appraised shortly after we bought it and it turns out to have been a terrific purchase. The piano was made in 1878 and is worth something around $100,000 - $125,000 today!

I'm the child of a head-case miser and was raised to save save save my money and to look at others and think "they can have the stuff but I mustn't." Even the other relatives were pretty tight with the buck and my Hubby's family had to scrimp for years before splurging on the house of their dreams, so our whole family is very conservative with money. So: forces for thrift that press on me are a-plenty but we're retirees and not rolling in dough and as I've noted in previous postings, we live in a very modest neighborhood and the house values in this community are dropping precipitously. I was also raised to think that a skilled DIY project beats a hired project any day and DH has done a remarkable job on our rehab project thus far.

I'm trying to remind myself 1) not to be cheap like Dad and 2) how crummy it feels to say "why didn't I spend more?" in future when looking back.

Last night we pulled out the wood stove insert pamphlets, again. We're dithering on the question of how much money to sink into the rehab of the back of our house--siding, new windows, and re-done fireplace. When we re-side, we're also going to bring more light into our dining room with long, thin windows and we're going to tighten up the fireplace and then add an air-to-air system to deal with humidity and such. Each component is affordable but the combined total will push us over our line of credit from credit union. We have the money in savings but do we want to spend it on this?

I have a great imagination and I fantasize a lot. I've walked around in many house plans in my head and discarded them during the 3 yrs of this current project. I do find that it is of benefit to vocally say what my fantasy contains..."I want a house that looks like Gov's Palace in Williamsburg" or whatever. Then I say or write down my pluses and minuses. I find that an unrealistic dream is much easier to throw away once I bring it closer to the reality of overt thought. On the other hand, by having thought through some of these things--especially the efficiency, logistical realities, budget, aesthetics -- we're ready to accept serendipity too. This might be a sale on something we love, an accidental find, a new product, a suggestion from someone we've consulted, etc.

As for the money part, that's a hard one. If you can break it down into day-to-day significance, that helps: This will essentially cost us $20/month for the next ten years, or whatever. That gives some context to the cost because you compare it to regular bills or things you regularly splurge on. Also, I like to think that my inheritance from Dad is being spent on things that help me be UN-like him, so if I can point to something and say "Dad bought me that, even if he was dead," it's very worthwhile to me.

But...if you were raised in a less thrifty environment and you've indulged yourself lots already, the reality is that you need to save for your own future. We live in a very screwy world and if you truly cannot afford something, you have no business going into terrific debt in order to get it. It affects us all.

Some great advice. I also try to imagine how I would feel if for some reason the specific thing I was agonizing over were suddenly not available. Would I feel deeply disappointed or OK (with even a twinge of relief)? Sometimes the answer surprises me!

OMG I love that story about the Steinway D. Steinway D is WAY too big for my house as would be for most houses. I did look at a few Steinway Bs. Every B I saw on Craigslist sold very quickly. The market for the Steinway Bs are really hot right now, FWIW. I am glad that you have a wonderful piano in your home. I wish I too have a nice piano in my home by the new year!

I saw a Steinway B built in 1917, the Golden Age of Steinway, completely rebuilt. It did not sound right to me. Pianos are so subjective!

I did (always do) the amortization game as some of you alluded to. I decided that the cost is less per month than what I pay for a membership to a club that we belong to. We only use the club in the summer so my kids can swim and be in a swim team. So in essence, I will get WAY more enjoyment out of the piano than the club since I would be playing daily, not just in the summer :)

I am paralyzed about which piano to get. I have already decided that I would be paying an equivalent sum to buy a European sedan. I am afraid of getting the wrong piano. I am afraid of not getting a more expensive piano that would keep its value better, for example. I think the 1917 rebuilt Steinway would keep its value better but I did not like it as well.

For those of you with an interesting book to read,
"The Grand Obsession" is about a search for the perfect piano. This is an amazing read that really tugs at the heart string of those of us that are looking for the 'perfect' something, ie our kitchens, pianos, what not.

My DH says that perfect is an illusive thing. Sometimes, we have to settle for good enough.

lori, I have to have a piano, any piano. The current piano is really ready for the piano graveyard. Completely ignored, neglected with strings out of tension. It is not worth tuning or putting any money into. I and my DS are banging on this old piano. It is huring our ears and our fingering....

I could probably buy a very acceptable piano for 1/10th of the sum that I am considering spending. However, I would not LOVE that piano. It would just become a generic piano and I want to LOVE my piano.

florantha, the issue is that I save way too much and not spend enough!

kiki, your daughter is lucky that you want to give her the gift of music. I did not realize this when I was young but my parents gave me that gift. After not playing for years and years, I have been playing again, and I am relearning and getting better. Reading music is like knowing another language. There is no other way to annotate how to make certain music without the musical notations. Can you imagine a symphonic orchestra learning their pieces by hearing their music from each other and trying to transmit that knowledge without "written music"?

My mom is very musical. Growing up in the 20s and 30s, she played piano and harp. As an adult she sang in the community choir. Mom married Dad who was musical clunk - Dad always lost the fa-la-las in the Christmas carols! The five of us children are far from musically gifted, although at least one grandchild got the good gene and her child as well. Mom didn't have a piano for a long time, but she finally got a baby grand, and later a grand piano. I really loved listening to Mom play. I actually had favorites among Chopin, Lizt, Shubert, Bach, and Beethoven. A piano was a luxury for sure, but one I would put at the top of the list. If you have the money, that's a good way to spend it. Music just makes the world a better place.

Just buy the blanketyblank piano. THIS is why you're normally cheap--so you can buy the nice piano.

I too am frugal and live cheaper than I have to. Can't help it. But that just means that when I (or YOU) want something stupid expensive, we can just GET it. I'll still research the heck out of it and try to get a decent deal on it, but I'll buy it.

I can't spare you some of the agonizing, but it might help you to separate out one type of concern from another and so maybe whittle down to the real priorities.

Since it sounds like you are buying the piano to really play it, and you have the ability to detect differences in pianos and what you like and don't, I would first focus on that--the piano you would most like to play ( that fits in your house, of course!). Holding value (monetary value) has some importance but maybe less for pianos than for cars, say, since most people go through several cars for themselves, kids, etc. and get future benefits from a good trade-in.

You might not end up buying the piano that you most love to play if it in fact is so expensive it would hurt your finances in some way. Everyone has some price that is too high--though the number of OO's might vary a lot! Or you might determine that you simply don't VALUE the very best piano. I bought a guitar a while back and I knew I did not need or want the "best" guitar and did not need to impress anybody with how cool my guitar was. Also I am a beginner and knew I might not become a real expert. I did buy a better guitar than I expected, and maybe I should have bought one much cheaper until I learned more, but the price was okay for my finances so I made a "match". If I were actually a good guitar player, I would not hesitate to buy a much better one than I did but again, I think the focus would be on what played the best, felt the best, that I myself got the best sound from, and that might be different for me than for another musician. I am sure that must be true of pianos to some extent.

So if there is one single piano you keep going back to because you love how it sounds/plays and you "can" afford it, buy that one. If there are a couple that are sort of equally good but in different ways--and I mean in terms of musical quality, not prestige or later value ( I had that dilemma with guitars) , that is where I would get some feedback from another musician/piano expert.

The car price comparison is fine as long as you look at in the right way--you don't value European sedans (neither do I) so you drive something cheaper and buy pianos. For other people it is the opposite and that is perfectly fine.

You might enjoy reading some things by Amy Dacyzn (The Tightwad Gazette). She is or has been an extreme saver and re-user and most people would not want to do as much of that as she does. But that was not her main point or her greatest strength. Her mantra was, save on everything that you can that really has no value or benefit to you if you were to spend more; don't let your money just slip away on this and that. Don't buy things just because other people do if you really want something else. Decide what is really important and don't whine that you can't afford it, because it is likely that if you really focus and avoid daily spending traps you can afford a lot of really nice things--just not EVERYTHING. Her deal was empowerment to be in control of spending. Several posters above gave good examples of that. Typical examples that have been used in some budget/happiness books is a person who wistfully says they would love to take a trip to Europe,it's their heart's desire, but just can't afford it--said while sitting on their new sofa that cost $2000.

So your situation is an extension of that--there are people who have your same income who actually cannot afford a major piano purchase because they have a huge mortgage and have bought cars, and furniture, and jewelry instead. Which is perfectly fine unless all they really want is a piano!