Plan for mealtime to start at 6:30pm from now on. Make that permanent. Plan for a minor nutritious snack beforehand to those who help out in small ways. A carrot.

Gradually your life will be more organized and self discipline will be normal. Other people will adapt and change.

I don't know what your morning is like. I timed myself, it takes less than 5 minutes to unload the dishwasher. I started doing it in the morning after I get up, and it's made a big difference in how my evenings go. Then anyone can load the dishwasher.

Also, the only cookbook in the kitchen is the one being used at the time, saves space that way.

Hi seedsilly--I am sure you will find lots of well-deserved empathy here.

I am actually a very small workzone kind of gal and like things close by the stove too but I'm not sure I'm much help in helping you prioritize. I used a system someone else suggested here and that is to empty everything out into boxes and only pull out what you use as you use it, and then put it where it's most convenient. I'm guessing that project is something you might want to tackle another time--or someone else may have better suggestions...but I do have some ideas for you about the family weeknight meal schedule, so many of us have found it to be the "witching hour" at least at some point in our lives. (I'm guessing your daughter is very young and cannot be of assistance??)

-as with anything else that involves wholesale change, some of them might seem like more work than you can muster at the moment, but if you can choose one or two and visualize the payoff--just maybe you'll be able to reclaim some joy from the cooking.

Idea number one: Meal planning: I don't mean fanatical planning right out of the gate (I know you said you're not a planner, that's okay). Involve your husband and pick just one night a week that you both will commit to a peaceful kitchen evening. If he'll make sure the dishes are done by the time you get home, just that one night a week, you'll plan something nice for dinner that might be more effort than usual. The result you'll be hoping for is that he too enjoys the more peaceful and delicious result (and a less stressed wife) that one night a week. Perhaps he'll be inspired to do it more often as a result, perhaps not. Either way is okay, at least you've each agreed to one night.

Idea number two: Think of 5 to 7 things that you can make without looking at a recipe, that your family eats (as simple as spaghetti and jarred sauce or something more complicated if you've got it memorized.) Put these meals on a standard rotating schedule for the week...Mondays are X, Tuesdays are Y, etc. This may seem boring, unimaginative and to the purists (gasp! jarred sauce!) particularly heretical...but it will really really really cut down on your stress and time if hubby continues not to help. If he complains about the monotony or lack of adventurous cuisine you can sweetly suggest that if he does the dishes on X night, you'll whip up something more complicated.

Idea number three: Weekend cooking. Cook a big pot of something on Sunday that will last you the first few days of the week. Store it well wrapped in the original pan, crockpot insert, baking dish, whatever. You'll (He'll) have only one pot to wash at the end of three days, instead of a constant barrage of dirty pots. I personally have never been able to make a whole bunch of stuff ahead and freeze it, but I do manage to make Sunday leftovers live on for at least 2 or 3 weeknights when things are hectic around here.

Idea four: Pour yourself a glass of wine or a cup of tea --whatever is your thing, the minute you walk in the door. Tell yourself, promise yourself, that the first 10 minutes are yours:
-hang up coat, put down purse, kick off shoes and put jeans on, grab glass of wine. Do this every single time you come home. It will be your routine, they will get used to it, they will live, they can certainly wait 10 extra minutes...that's all it takes. You can enjoy your tea or wine after you've kicked them out of the kitchen and take your sweet darn time making the meal (whose rule is 6pm??) Put out cheese and crackers if their stomachs are growling.

Solidarity sister. :)

Idea 4 is mandatory in my house (though not always wine). I take time to kick off my shoes, say hello to Hubby and kids, change and take at least a few deep breaths before anything else happens. Hubby sometimes tries to change this (he works from home so it's all the same to him) but I don't let it happen.

If all of the above fails, then do takeout for just you and your daughter and leave your hubby to fend for himself. If he protests, tell him there's cold cereal and dirty dishes and that you can't cook in a kitchen with dirty dishes or clean dishes not put away. You say he won't change, but when you stop catering to him, he'll learn how to change somehow. It's the same way I got my hubby to actually put his dirty clothes in a hamper instead of draping them in various spots all over the house. I would only do laundry that was in the hamper, and if I found clothes anywhere else, they went into a bag to get donated to Goodwill.

Sometimes, you just have to be the mommy to the biggest baby of all to get them to do the adult thing and contribute equally.

Suggest he get himself some of those dishwashers in a drawer if he can't function with only one dishwasher. He needs to get with the program.
P.S. I would never do my husband's laundry. He doesn't do mine either.

I love spaghetti sauce in a jar! My friend literally spends all day simmering her sauce (she calls it "gravy"). My family tells me my quickie sauce tastes much better.

I stick with the brands that are lower in sugar, fat and salt and don't contain preservatives or MSG. I add ground turkey, diced tomatoes, fresh diced garlic and sometimes mushrooms if I have them. Yummy!

I don't really plan meals in advance but I have about 10 different quick meals that my family enjoys and I make sure to keep the ingredients on hand. A few examples: spaghetti with meat sauce or turkey meatballs, pizza with spinach and eggplant (I buy the dough at the store), chicken tikka masala with rice, teriyaki salmon with spinach and miso soup, chicken and broccolli in lemon wine sauce with brown rice. All these meals take very little time to prep and cook. I always make sure that we have a nice salad (spinach or romaine -- iceberg has little vitamins) or green veggie (broccoli, spinach, asparagus, etc.) with every meal.

I echo the sentiments of others to push back dinner by at least half an hour and give yourself time to unwind a little and touch base with your little one.

I would absolutely insist to your husband that he help you out more. Maybe you can even show him this post? Is it possible he doesn't realize how much extra stress and unhappiness he's causing you?

As far as space planning, I'd move those canisters and cookbooks out of your cooking area. In my current pre-remodel kitchen, counterspace around my stove is very limited. I use the island right behind my stove for prep work, so the only thing on the counter is a stainless steel jar for utensils. Oils, spices, measuring cups and oven mitts live in the cabinet near my stove.

Maybe if you post your layout you can get some more helpful suggestions?

some of my strategies....weekend cooking or crock pot... if things are too hectic pre-dinner time (same often at my house - kids need you, phone ringing) try waking up a bit earlier and making crock pot meals in morning that will be done at dinnertime. When my daughter went through her 5pm 'witching' hour the crock pot came in handy.

Also plan meals out one week ahead... shop for all ingredients at once so they are there for you and keep your 'schedule' written down so you know what to cook that night. I do that and find we often eat leftovers twice a week so I'm really only cooking 3 or 4x a week.

Oh and in our house we have a rule - if you cooked that night you don't do the dishes. :)

So clearly erika is an expert--your "handy" weeknight meals sound terrific, healthy--I am envious. But while we're sharing "confessions of jarred sauce people" I'll share another secret for those inevitabley hectic times:
Chinese Soup

Yep, for $6.00 I can get two quarts of hot and sour soup from a great restaurant, (or egg drop soup or wonton soup) -and if I add an order of egg rolls I can meet the $10.00 minimum delivery order. Add a salad and voila! Can't afford massive takeout on a regular basis (especially after the kitchen reno!) but this is such a cheap option it is a no brainer...and at least healthier than a lot of other takeout and delivery options.

As for jarred sauces there are some real winners. but more expensive per jar than hot and sour soup: try Rao's, or Gia Russa. They're going to run you $7 to $10 a jar but they have no preservatives, sugar or MSG...and if you doctor them up as Erika suggests, you can get a couple of meals out of them. I also love homemade "gravy" simmered all day but don't often do that anymore. My mom's is the best--she involves a LOT of meat in the process :)

I have a funny story about spaghetti sauce. My mom is Italian. She has always made homemade spaghetti sauce from scratch with a recipe passed down from her family. She prided herself on her all day prepartion and slow simmer on the stove top and could never understand anyone buying sauce in a jar. Then one day she grabbed some Prego on a whim, while pressured for time. That evening, my dad raved about how good her sauce was and went on and on about how it was the best sauce she had ever made. She never made it from scratch again. We still laugh about this story.

First off, I sympathize (actually empathize!) with you...I also have hectic evenings...I get home late (7pm or later) and I'm rushing around to get dinner ready b/f 8pm (my deadline) while "reminding" kids to do homework or practice instruments. My DH also does the dishes and he liked to leave dirty dishes in the sink until the next morning or the next day if he didn't think he had a DW's worth of dishes. It used to be a problem in our old kitchen as the only place I had to prep was the 24" b/w the sink & range...and a sink full of dirty dishes!!!

Like you, I didn't want to do them b/c we had agreed to share the work since we both work full time. My solution in the new kitchen was a prep sink for me on the cook & prep side of the kitchen (my domain)...and the main sink & DW on the other side of the kitchen...his domain!

Interestingly, now that we have the new kitchen and that area is "his", he cleans up every night! The DW is still run the next morning, but that's b/c he wants to load his breakfast dishes b/f running it! I don't know if its the new kitchen or that he's taken ownership of that side of the kitchen, I'm just glad he's changed!

Back to your post....

So....are you asking for tips to make meal time less hectic or for help organizing your kitchen?

If less hectic, there are lots of ideas above.

If organization...

I couldn't find your kitchen, so if you post a floor plan including what cabinets are where, what they are (drawers/pullouts/standard/etc & # of drawers, etc.), and their sizes along w/the appliances perhaps we could help you organize your kitchen.

(There's also an Organizing the Home Forum.)

Here is a link that might be useful: Organizing the Home Forum

I second the having the recipe box with easy favorite recipes on hand. Some things like steamed mixed veggies and ried or baked meat are no brainers and healthy as well. I have a 4 year old and a 9 year old and they love to help in the kitchen, so I totally understand the no talk to me rule but there are plenty of no brain needed recipes. The timer is my best friend in the kitchen without it the kids would distact me and everything would be burnt.

It is very affirming to post a question and have total strangers take time out of their lives to help, thanks to all.

Prior to reading these posts, I decided to have a little family meeting. Just me, DH, and DD in the home. I stated my problem (messy kitchen every day) and asked for suggestions. My daughter, who is 5, very proudly proclaimed that she had an idea, that we should all help me with my problem by cleaning the kitchen. Of course that's what I wanted her to say. I had thought that we could make it a family thing to get the kitchen ready for dinner, then a family thing to clean it up. DH willingly agreed. My husband's problem is not entirely sloth or stubbornness, we are busy and constantly working on our 120+ year old house, and we are both terrible procrastinators. So I thought a family approach would be a good way to get the job done while having fun and being together. We have very little together time, as DD goes to bed at 7 (kindergartener adjusting to no nap, eek!) Also, this family meeting scheme, I mean solution, takes away my husband's myriad of excuses for not getting things done, although I will have to be the one to remind everyone every night. Well, it would be great to get my daughter into this habit, that we are all responsible for keeping the house clean. So, tonight we did this, and it was a piece of cake. Did all of last night's dishes in a flash, too. The kitchen is clean! Now, we'll see if we can keep it up. That's the hard part, discipline.

Now, to some of your specific suggestions, all of which are appreciated:

I made the goal of 6:00 dinner, due to DD's early bed time. She is so tired by 7:00, she's begging for us to put her to bed. Can't do the dishes in the a.m., cuz that's even more chaotic (cuz I can't get over my desire to stay in bed til the last possible moment. I might need to work on that one!)

I think I will try to find a new spot for cookbooks. They are just so in the way.

Maybe I could box up less used kitchen stuff, get it visually out of the way, so I can focus on making the frequent stuff handy. Then see what of the boxed up stuff even needs to get dragged back out.

I've tried lots of meal plans, and none seem to work. Life is so hectic right now, we have been in remodel mode for about 2 years, (the same amount of time I've been working full time, so I'm still adjusting I guess) and I can't get a shopping routine. Every weekend is spent on the house (DIY), and it would drive me nuts to take time out to shop. Lately I've been thinking of shopping Friday nights, as DD can go to bed a little later, and maybe I could pick up some quick family favorite (fresh pasta and sauce, deli meat and hard rolls etc.) Then I could make a meal or two ahead, when I have time, on the weekends. I like the idea of having a few set meals, because I just can't do all set meals. That didn't work for me. Having staples on hand helps, I do ok on that, but an actual list of easy, "probably have the stuff I need on hand" meals would be good.

"Threats" don't work. He's way too stubborn for that. Which is why he currently does his own laundry.

Thanks again, any more ideas or recipes for the yummy sounding dishes mentioned?

I have faith that as a family we can get this all settled. For some reason I keep think that "once the kitchen is done" which is very soon, I'll be in a better space, literally and figuratively, to work on the people end of things. I don't do well in clutter, and that's what my kitchen is. I need to clean the clutter on the counters so I can clean the clutter in my mind!

Thanks all, Amy

Buehl, just got your post. Thanks for the empathy! You reminded me that I meant to post that I end up in the corner between the stove and the sink, not the refridge, hence the dirty dishes really being a pain.

I have discovered that a big cutting board over the since extends my prep area, but can't do that with a full sink!

I don't have any talent for posting my layout. Just know this: It is small, old, with nothing fancy. Cabs were installed I'm guessing in the 50's or 60's, low ceiling so short uppers, inaccessible corners, no pullout (although I built my first drawer and installed on slides last night, so look out, here I come!) Maybe I will see about posting the layout, DH comes in handy on that kind of stuff!

The kitchen as you see here is under construction. The benches for the table are almost done. The short bench is hiding some electrical wire that someone poured cement around, and as DIYers, did not want to mess with. The table (cherry, built by my father, is soaking in tung oil as we speak...I mean type) The layout is a compromise...I wanted to move the kitchen to the other side of the house to have kitchen/dining room/livingroom all in a line, but the ceiling over there is really really really low (I can easily touch it) and it would be so expensive. This way I kind of get what I wanted, at a tiny fraction of the cost. I also get a new bay window above the long banquette. If the drawing is not clear, let me know, and I will attempt to clarify. Amy

Lots of good ideas in other posts, won't repeat them here. I can't and won't start cooking until the counters are empty and dishes are out of the sink and into the DW. As for emptying the DW, two solutions that worked for me: 1. get as much done as possible in the one to two minutes while you're waiting on the microwave (or your early AM coffee, or anything else that takes 2 minutes -- emptying a DW actually goes very fast) and 2. kids can be helpful in just a year or two. Starting in 3d grade mine had morning chores of emptying the laundry, walking the dishwasher, and folding the dog :)

On the benefits of a household routine, I highly recommend Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson. This is the Joy of Cooking for household routines in general.

Plan one dish-free night a week. During the summer it's grilling outdoors and big salads, during the winter it's one big pot of chili/lasagna/etc that can be reheated the following day. It's also okay to serve one flake-out/Mom's too tired to cook meal (hot dogs, microwaved stuff, nachos, sandwiches, etc) once a week. When your DD gets just a little older she can proudly plan one meal a week.

Hang in there.

Blue

What kind of hood will you have? Exposed or one w/a cabinet above? In my old kitchen I had a cabinet above the hood and used it for my cookbooks...it was a great place, ideal, I think. With the new kitchen, we have an exposed hood, so no cabinet, and I completely forgot to plan for cookbook space! I ended up taking a shelf in my pantry for my cookbooks, not my plan, but what I'm stuck with now!

So, if you have a cabinet above the hood, I recommend that be your cookbook space!

I assume the rectangle on the west wall is your table w/the benches around it.

Now, some questions...

1. Where is your DW?

2. Where is your MW?

3. Do you have wall cabinets everywhere there are no windows? (I assume they're only 30" since you said they're short!)

4. Do you have corner lazy susans? (You said they were inaccessible?)

5. How tall are you (will drive the recommendations)?

6. Which doorway do you enter by when you bring in groceries?

7. Since the cabinets are so old, I'm guessing they're all "standard" base cabinets...i.e., top drawer + bottom area with one stationary shelf (maybe even fixed half-shelf)...is that correct?

8. Do you plan to replace all the bases w/drawers (except sink base, of course)?

9. Do you have a cabinet over the refrigerator? If so, full depth or shallow? If not, could you put one there? (Is your father a cabinetmaker or similar?)

Sounds like you can't cook comfortably in the current situaton. So stop already! Feed the family of course, but stop trying to 'cook' until the space is more functinal.

I like Buele's his & hers sector idea as a first step. You should claim every inch between sink and range for preparing food. And the cleanup business has to stay out of there and keep to the right of the sink. Let the dishes pile up to the right of the sink. (not your area. not your problem for now. You are in survival mode.) Things related to cooking only should be stored between sink and cooktop. Get everything else out of there: books, cannisters, cereal, plates, silverware - all of it.

If you have time this weekend, maybe move everything to the run across the room. Better yet, fill three boxes with your least used whatever, and stick them in the garage. You can fish something out if you need it - but I'll bet you won't.

For now, don't make any meals that need mixing type prep. Saute pork chops, steam some broccoli, heat rolls = done. Heat spaghetti sauce with or without additions, cook noodles = done. Broil cheese steak subs = done. Frozen lasagna, take out Chinese, scrambled eggs, hamburgers... whatever works. No recipes.

Give yourself a week or two to notice what you really want to keep at arm's length at your 'cook's station'. Get that part right. Think of the tasks there as 1)preparing fresh foods: rinsing, drying, chopping, etc, and 2)cooking foods: stirring, flipping, whisking, seasoning, etc. So what needs to be stored there? Colander, knives, cutting board, spatulas, tongs, pans, etc. Flour? Sugar? In a shaker maybe but NOT in bulk. It'll soon be clear to you what you need to have handy for wet prep and for cooktop work.

Next you want to claim another piece of the counter across the room for a mixing or 'dry prep' area. This is the work where you would have the cookbook propped open and the recipe guiding you. Measures, bowls, spices, and yes, the cannisters have a home here. Where you mix stuff, or assemble food, often headed to the oven rather than to the stovetop.

I know you said you feel you have to stay near the cooktop even when mixing, but I think that may just be a response to the chaos. There are not enough inches there between sink and cooktop for wet prep, dry prep, AND cooking. There aren't. It is impossible to do all three tasks in that space. The dry prep and all its supporting stuff can get organized over by the fridge. Perhaps whip up a Jiffy cornbread mix box or some pancake batter as your test run.

I think if you get these three task areas sorted out and organized, you will feel much more in control. And able to do some work calmly away from the cooktop.

That just leaves cleanup there at the top right. Hubby's problem though, right?

Good luck to you. We have all been there I think!

I think these are your zones...

Aside from all the other suggestions in the posts above, perhaps the most important thing you can do to make cooking easier and more enjoyable is preparation. The French have a term for this critical phase of meal preparation, it's called "mise en place", literally "put in place".

It entails having your meal or menu planned in advance, then having the kitchen prepared for the cooking chores necessary to bring the menu to completion. It requires that the kitchen be clean and orderly, that all required equipment be at hand, and that all ingredients be prepared and measured into separate containers before any cooking begins.

Professional kitchens adhere to this method without fail. Not only does it mean that the cook isn't interrupted from actual cooking to prepare or search for an ingredient, but it greatly enhances efficiency and cooking enjoyment.

It simply means that you have all ingredients peeled, chopped or measured and assembled into individual containers, ready to go into the dish. Mise en place also includes preheating ovens, having plates warmed and ready to receive food, the table set, and any garnishes needed, ready to go. This will free you up to simply cook without distraction. Not only will this make you a more efficient cook, it will greatly enhance your enjoyment in preparing the meal. An added bonus is that it helps you to prevent forgetting an important ingredient or a step in the cooking process, and it makes managing your time much more accurate.

Get into a routine. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Set the table and preheat the oven. Assemble your ingredients. Pare, chop, measure and place the individual ingredients into small containers so they're ready to go. This includes washing salad greens, assembling any condiments and dressings. Once everything is ready, then begin cookng. You'll be astonished at how much more enjoyable and relaxing cooking can be when you don't have to measure as you go, chop a shallot in a panic, or pull frozen butter out of the freezer seconds before you need spreadable butter to go on the table. You'll also save time and by assembling all ingredients before you begin, it'll be totally obvious if you're forgetting to add some vital component to a dish.

I know so many people who think they hate cooking. Mostly, the reason for that is because they're disorganized. If they can be convinced to try the "mise en place" method, they invariably agree that cooking can be enjoyable, and even fun. Practicing "mise en place" means that everything is always within reach and ready to go.

Here is a link that might be useful: Wikipedia: Mise en place

Great post everyone. I am glad to see I am not the only one out there with a huge sink of dirty dishes at dinnertime.

I wanted to share a tip for making something creative for dinner. I went through a rut of making the same thing 5 things for dinner every week. I did not plan meals ahead of time so when I went in the food store, I would grab the usual staples and rush out.

I decided to keep a cookbook in the car. That way, I can find 1 or 2 creative recipes in the food store parking lot and get the necessary items for the meal. I change out the cookbook every week or two. The added bonus is that I actually use my cookbooks now (I have a closet full).

I was just going to post about cooking with a mise en place technique. It REALLY is more efficient, and much more fun- really! Sometimes I pre-prepare a few things and put them in the fridge until cooking time in the evening. What really helps me are these little pampered chef bowls with lids (forgot what they are called, but they almost look like custard dishes). I use them for measured out spices, garlic, veggies, broth, etc etc etc and they don't take much room at all to store in the cupboard. Plus, they have a rough measurement on the sides so if you need about 1/2 cup of whatever, you can use the bowl instead of finding the measuring cup.

Sometimes its fun to change a bit, like learning a new technique or skill, especially if it will end up benefiting you and your family. Go get a tiara, put it on your head, smile, pour yourself a glass of wine, and try a more organized cooking technique and I guarantee you and your family will have a blast!

I don't really have any fabulous suggestions, but I can tell you SavingDinner.com is a great resource for those who aren't used to meal planning. I've found Flylady.net helps with getting into household routines. I don't follow all of the suggestions, but that is OK...babysteps!

Beth

Here is a link that might be useful: Flylady and her system

I just had to pipe up here!

There is a great book called "How to Cook without a Book". It basically gives you a handful of formulas so that you can plug in whatever ingredients you have on hand and come up with a great meal. If you can then just keep a basically stocked pantry, you are good to cook a well-balanced meal on a minute's notice.

I don't like to plan either, unless I'm doing fun, elaborate cooking. For the weeknight dinner, though, this has given me a good sense of direction.

Also, kudos to you for the way you handled the clean up issue. It's much better for a marriage in the long run to get the cards out on the table than to harbor resentment because things aren't fair, because honestly, marriage and life are very rarely fair! I say this as someone who spent my childhood listening to my mom slam kitchen cabinets every evening while she cooked dinner. Your honest approach and the example of open communication you've set for your daughter will payoff in the long run!

Amy,
Not having much prep/cooking space can be a blessing in the long run. It made me pare down the prep and cooking pieces to just the essentials. I like Julia Child's philosophy of having what one needs accessible; function first form second. (This is not a criticism of anyone's kitchen! Beautiful and efficient can co-exist.) Celticmoon has an excellent suggestion to pack up the kitchen and retrieve only what you need. The less frequently I need something the farther away it is stored. If I haven't used something in 3-6 months, it goes in the garage; if it is not used in a year it goes to a charity shop.

One suggestion for recipes is use the back of the cabinet doors. I started copying recipes on 4x6 (or smaller) paper and taping it inside the baking cabinet door. It's much easier than hunting in a cookbook or hauling the laptop out for a recipe. And, it takes no room on the countertop. I'll admit these are all bread-type recipes, but it would work for anything. You could sort through cookbooks or recipe cards on the weekend with DD and plan a few dishes she (and you) like for the coming week. Post the recipes and make an adventure of grocery shopping for 'her' meals. My son is grown, so this is thinking from the wrong end round-maybe it wouldn't work. It's just a thought, LOL. Good luck, Amy!
Judy

Here is one more suggestion. I didn't read everything above so I hope this is not duplicated.

About a year ago I was telling a single mom of 4 that I know how stressed i get over dinner. I felt pressure to be creative and cook sophisticated things sometimes...but it was hard to pick recipes, the kids (9,7,4) and DH are all kind of picky, and it was not fun. She said that she used a plan that would help but first I have to let go of the impression that I needed to be creative and have a lot of variety. My goal (according to her and I agree) should be first, to feed the family, and second, keep stress in the house to a minimum.

Here is the plan she taught me. First, you pick a set of 4 meals that are easy, reliable, and well-received in your house. In our house, it is tacos, enchiladas, spaghetti with meat sauce or meatballs, and one chicken dish. Set a schedule using your list. At our house, Monday is taco night, Tuesday enchilada, Wed spaghetti, Thursday is chicken.

Have easy veggie dishes always on hand. For us, it is always raw carrots and salad.

Fruit is easy.

So every night we generally have a well balanced meal consisting of a protein, 2 veggies, and fruit. It is easy to shop. With my menu being so ground beef focused, If I'm so inclined it is easy to prepare 4 or 5 pounds of ground beef on Monday and use the leftovers on the subsequent nights.

This plan makes grocery shopping incredibly easy, too. We always buy taco shells, tortillas, taco sauce, shredded cheese, lots of ground beef, veggies, and salad.

(RE: the cheese, I buy a ton whenever it is on sale and keep it in the freezer. no need to thaw - I just dump whatever amount I need into the pan frozen. it also melts pretty well in the micro if you need - just don't put the timer on too long).

Once you have this framework in place, 4 nights are taken care of and if you want to be creative or take more time, you can do it on Fri, Sat, or Sun when (I hope) you have more time or a less rigid schedule. Or during the week sometimes I mix it up if I feel like it and had the time.

One surprising outcome of this plan in my house is that EVERYONE is happier. I thought the kids or DH would object to it being boring, but at least at these ages the kids enjoy the predictibilty. Often they hated my "creative" stuff and now they know what they're going to get.

Good luck to you!

Oh, RE: the dishwasher, I have a lot of faith in a good husband. What would he do if you showed him your post? What would he do if you sat down with him when you're totally calm and not stressed and set a goal together of making dinners less stressful? State the problem and tell him you got a bunch of ideas from your friends here. Ask him to brainstorm with you what ideas would help make dinners better. If you approach it as a teammate with him and look for joint solutions, I would predict that the dishes thing will come up and you'll get buy-in from him.

With my husband, a few years ago I had these expectations that if I was gone in the evening, he'd do everything with the kids and the house that I would do (ie, get them to bed on time, clean up the kitchen) before he moved on to his leisure activities. When I would arrive home and he didn't, I'd get mad, fights would ensue, blah blah blah. When someone is mad at you, it is very difficult to see their point :) So one day I wised up and I told him calmly that when I go out in the evening (which is rare) to relax and get away from the craziness here, I get immediately stressed again when I walk back into a trashed kitchen and a living room with crap all over the place. I'm not a neatnik by any means, but this was ridiculous! So once I told him without the anger what I hoped for, he did it. I was half amazed at the power of just being assertive and nice and asking for what I needed, and half depressed that I was so old before I figured it out!

Again, good luck!

anita

To everyone, thanks again and some more, I really appreciate the help. I am at work now so cant dedicate too much time to responding, but I am reading and trying to take it all in. But keep it coming, I'm learning so much and am truly greatful for the support!

To answer a few questions:

I agree that above the hood is a good spot for cookbooks. Most are in the "dining room" in the long row of cabinets, so the few remaining will go above the hood.

1. DW is to the right of the sink
2. MV is in the corner to the right of the DW, on the counter
3. Windows-above the long banquette (theres storage in that banquette, not the other, FYI, above the sink, and centered on the wall between micro and refridge.
4. No lazy susans (although I did install one large "circle" on one shelf in the corner to the left of sink for jars of dry beans, misc flours like teff)
5. I am 56"
6. I enter the kitchen at the doorway near the fridge (ps that is a tall pantry to the right of fridge)
7. Cabinets are as you guess, Buehl, one drawer and a half shelf that is easily removable for drawers.
8. I plan to convert a lot, but not all cabs to pullouts. However, for now, I will have to open the door then pull out the shelf. Later, when money and time permits, I will make/buy fronts to attach to the drawer and get rid of the doors. I could do all in pullouts, if it made sense, I just dont know. I do want a recycle pull out, FYI. Garbage is under the sink right now.
9. There is a shallow cab over refridge. Dad is a retired shop teacher and loves to help, but he just found out he is bone on bone in his right shoulder and is having it replaced in Jan. I dont plan to trouble him anymore than I have to.

Additional info:
Yes, the rectangle on the left is the table with the banquette seating. We dont plan to have a separate dining room table, but do have a plan for how to seat large parties. The small banquette is removable and a folding table can be added to the current one for a long table that should seat my 16 member family just fine.

We keep a dish drainer on the counter to the right of the sink. I have a large toaster oven next to the fridge, and a basket next to that with bread in it. It would be nice to get these off the counter. Ive toyed with an over the range micro, but it is a relatively new micro and a very new hood (not that it is a good one), but Im not sold on that idea for numerous reasons. The counter to the left of the stove has the coffee pot and grinder. So, advice on how to get more counter space would be good too!

We took out the old Tappan stove 2 years ago because the burners did not work, replaced it with a free range (from realtor, as is the free fridge form the realtor) and it is more narrow than the tappan. We built some narrow cubbies on either side of the stove to take up the space. The space is about 6 inches wide, counter height, with a narrow shelf in the middle. I store cookie sheets etc in the resulting 4 cubbies.

The run of cabs in the "dining room" (I dont know what to call that room) is fairly new, and not fully utilized. It consists of two 36" lower cabs each with one drawer, and smaller (dont remember the size) cab with all drawers between the two. The cab on the left is full of lesser used appliances (steamer, rice cooker (I actually use that quite a bit), crock pot, cookbooks, fry baby). So far most of the drawers are catching "junk" that I just havent found a good place for yet. Two drawers are junk drawers of sorts for my daughter (crayons etc that she likes to use at the table when I cook for instance) and the far right 36 incher is empty at this point. The long banquette is empty at this point, as it is not quite done.

Guess I better get back to work, but I will check in as I can!

Amy

Re. mise-en-place: if you haven't seen it yet, this is a great article on arranging your kitchen design for optimum efficiency:

Here is a link that might be useful: Mise-en-place: what we can learn from commercial kitchens

Excellent article, Circuspeanut!

Thanks for posting it.

You've gotten some great ideas and I'm glad you had a family meeting to figure out how to make dinner less stressful. That is really important and is something I struggle with too. Looking at the layout I can see why you are in the corner, it is the most convenient spot, in between the sink and stove. I would try to clear that area out completely. Only pull out what you need for the recipie and put the ingredients away as you go. It also helps with following the recipie in that you know what was added and what still needs to go in. Dinner time can be distracting and putting a double amount of something or forgetting something is easy to do. I don't use one, but it may help to have a recipie book holder so that it will take up less space. Maybe you could give the book to your DD, she's probably just starting to read, but she may be able to look at the pictures and you might be surprised how quick she picks up some words.

Also setup a spot for you're DD to help too. Spread out to the other side of the sink for a safe place for DD to help and do some prep there. I completely agree having a clean kitchen to start out in is the best way to go. My mom called it "clearing the deck". It also makes it easier to clean as you cook, ie. once you are done with that mixing bowl it goes directly into the DW. Maybe you could mention to DH if he had the dishes cleaned up and DW unloaded you could clean the prep stuff as you go leaving less work for him?

I have two DD 3 and 8 and they both like to help, especially the 3yo. I find dinner prep goes a bit slower with DD "helping" but it is nice spending time with her and teaching her how to cook. My 8yo will pop in now and then, but with my tiny kitchen there really isn't much room for all three of us. I'm hoping to get my new kitchen soon so all of us can work together.

I feel your pain. My DH is great but kitchen duty isn't his thing. When I noticed my 2 1/2 year old DD knows where things in the kitchen belong better than my DH I realized I would have to bide my time till she could reach everything and be my kitchen helper (my DS who is 6 1/2 no longer is enamored with emptying and filling the DW - must be genetic).

This is pretty basic, and I sometimes forget (and regret it). Read through the whole recipe and prep/measure out all your ingredients before you begin. It will make for a smoother project and it will go faster.

If possible, try to do your prep work the evening before the meal or on the weekend for the next week. The best thing I ever did is put a TV in my kitchen and when I relocate my kitchen it is one of the few things from this kitchen going into the new one. I have found I enjoy meal prep and cooking more with the company of the TV (DH and kids are usually in another room b/c my current kitchen is a layout nightmare). I used to listen to music when I studied so the TV helps drown out the other distractions.

The other day I roasted chicken breasts, diced them and put them in the fridge to make chicken soup. I also cut all the vegies and also put them in the fridge. When it came time for soup, I sauted the vegies, dropped in the chicken, added the chicken broth and that was that. I then boiled my noodles and added them to the bowls when I served the soup.

I try to use my freezer as much as possible. I have found that chili freezes well. I can make a large batch and have 2 meals. I also do my chili in the crockpot (after browning the meat on the stove) and although I dirtied an extra pot, not having to babysit the chili makes up for the dirty pot.

I also make pizza dough in my bread machine when I don't have time to do it the old fashioned way. I use a ziplock bag and measure out all the dry ingredients (except the yeast) and keep it in the pantry. I label the bag and write the measurements of the liquid ingredients and the yeast on the outside of the bag so I don't have to refer to the recipe. Then on pizza night, I just add the wet into the bread machine, the dry, the yeast and it's done by the time my DH is home. My DH then takes the dough and makes the pizza (he divides the dough so my DS and DD each get their own pizza and my DH makes ours). And I relax with a glass of wine and make the salad.

I also make a lot of soups. We will have tomato soup (I use a Martha Stewart recipe that's very easy) and add a salad. The second night I will add to the soup grilled cheese and vegies. So far no complaints. My DH didn't use to like soup but he's now a convert and will ask for it. Soup is a great left-over meal and my DH also likes to take it for lunch.

I am sure I have other ideas, but it is pizza night and it's time to find my wine..... and the lettuce. Hang in there!

That's a great article! I've been incorporating a lot of the suggestions that have been posted here. So far so good, things are a lot smoother. I've even notice DH making an effort in other areas of the house, and with DD as well. I hear a lot of of "we need to show respect to mom and to our house by doing xyz". I make sure to let him know I appreciate the support. We had a minor hiccup last night "the dishes aren't done because I didn't get any help" said DH. I managed to control my ire and calmly stated my opinion on things, and the fact that I cook regardless of how busy I am on other projects, and that I would appreicate if he cleaned up regardless of how busy he is on other projects. Plus I was working in the kitchen from 4:30 pm until 9:30 pm. It's not like I was off eating bon bons. He understood my point.

I'm still scheming exactly where I'm going to store things, but once I get the drawers build, I will try moving my mixing stuff to the lower cabinets by the fridge, will also get a cookbook holder and put it there (along with some prep bowls) to try to encourage me to use that space. I think I will appreciate not having a corner cabinet directly over my head while I'm crammed in my tiny space between stove and sink. I always think I'm going to hit my head on it (I never have, psychological I guess) but adds to the feeling of being cramped.

Any more suggestions on where to store stuff? The layout is what it is, and cannot change.

Thanks again, Amy