I feel for you, and I hear you say, "i feel that i should celebrate life and fulfill my dreams for this house"

and that the worst that can happen is "i'd be pretty poor in a fab house."

The world doesn't owe us anything, and good health and long life is not promised. You share your life with a brook, huge waterfalls, a covered bridge, and swimming holes. You have a dream that you share with your life partner. I hope you'll continue to live your dream in the place you love. I can only hope that if I were you, I'd have the fortitude to continue building on love and dreams.

Enjoy every minute of your renovation!

Fallingwaters- Is it possible to improve your kitchen, mudroom/entry flow, without spending so much money? Is there anything between the "killer reno" and doing nothing? How much money were you thinking of spending? (Don't need actual amount, but if it's a lot...would 1/2 or 1/3 give you a nice remodel?)

I can see that this is your dream, but I know I wouldn't want to be constantly worried about bills...on top of everything else. If you can refinance (still do a nice remodel) and lower your monthly payments...that's what I would do.

I'm sure you've posted your remodeling plans, but why don't you post them here, so some of us can see what you want to do. Maybe that would give us a better idea of your cost and what you plan to accomplish :)

Falling waters,

I say DITTO to what the others have said above me....perhaps find a compromise...a finacially conservative way to do the reno. With that said, money is not everything and there are no guarantees in life. I tend to be a pessimist in my life...always expecting the worse case scenerio--This is both a blessing and a curse. I am overy conservative, careful, etc...however, sometimes I forget to just live and enjoy. I say, you should try to find a way to fulful your dreams and getting information is the FIRST step. Find out how much it would cost to do exactly what you want. THen figure out your options. You may decide it's not a risk you want to take, or you may realize it's easier to do than you expected.

The only thing that anyone owes their heirs is to not saddle them with debt. They aren't owed an "inheritance" at all. So, spending your money the way you want to spend it shouldn't bother anyone. However, you're not talking about spending money. You're talking about incurring debt. Spending "equity" on making the most expensive house on the street even more expensive. That's not a good idea for anyone even in good health. With your family situation, that's a very poor risk to take.

I'd do everything I could to eradicate any debt that you currently have. That includes your current mortgage. A simple limited remodel that you could accomplish on a cash basis would be the only kind of remodel that I'd even consider unless you have family that is willing to gift you with a remodel. Your goal should be to be mortage free by the time you would need to retire. With your health history, that might be sooner than later. That would mean retiring that mortage ASAP and not endangering my retirement fund on any remodel. If my financial security in my retirement years was compromised by the amount of money I owed on a house or the amount of money it needed to maintain it, I'd seek to sell that house, no matter how idyllic the setting. Consider selling the house to move to something smaller that wouldn't have a mortgage. You've had 20 years in a beautiful location, but life doesn't always allow us to create lemonade out of lemons.

I mostly agree with LWO - don't go into debt to do the renovation but feel free to use whatever funds you already have to enhance your house. But I also do think you should pay off the mortgage first and then proceed from there.

fallingwaters: I appreciate your sharing your dilemma with us. Have been rethinking and rethinking our own finances and priorities as we see others of our age group being hit by the vagaries of real life. Will attend a funeral of a colleague tomorrow, sigh, and out the window I see a middle aged neighbor who is doing the same thinking as you regarding how much to spend on a house when DH has cancer.

You are stuck in a difficult place--the incredible importance of today and the incredible inevitability of tomorrow and how to decide between them. Would echo the "if you're creative and proactive you can be glam and fabulous in less expensive ways" concept. But the household stress and sturm and drang of remodeling is gonna be the same, no matter how much you're spending and it's gonna add stuff to your calendar that you have to be really ready for. Is the interest rate the biggest reason that you're pushing for a decision right now? It may not be worthwhile to let that be the decider in your circumstances. That's for you to decide.

How inevitable are the house changes that you want to make--wants or needs? How much will they add to your "quality of life" in that house? How important is it to each of you to have the house ready for you to live in alone?

Your situation is a tad like mine. We bought a very modest 1950s house on a large lake lot in a working class neighborhood, but have added on twice, overbuilding for the neighborhood. Little chance of the neighborhood upgrading itself very much, although some of the lake lot owners have also overbuilt in their upgrades, but there are no high bucks properties here anywhere. We know that the after-remodel assessment of the house will add to our taxes and that because we don't intend to move until disabilities or such drive us out, there's no money to be made off the improvements to the house for a long time (although energy improvements will keep utility costs and carbon footprint low). Have had to keep the neighborhood and the tax situation in mind constantly as we did this second upgrade. Love of the site figures into all this. Some of our lake neighbors have not put their houses onto the market but have quietly passed the property to their children. I doubt they made any money there. If you improve the property in anticipation of a boom in the area, will you actually sell when the perceived value increases? Will you be able to do so emotionally?

Whatever your decision, be sure to enjoy one another while you have one another.

thanks guys. i ahve been researching the reno for over a year, and have scaled down my plans dramatically.
finally i have a plan which really works for me, and there are ways to cut the costs considerably and still get what i need.
for instance, we were planning to replace the shed roof over the kitchen with a gable roof.
mostly because i wanted a second atory for extra rooms, like a laundry closet!!
and partly because the old roof is not well built, and our snow loads means someone has to get on it in deep snow to shovel it off or it could conceivably collapse.
so one way to fix that is to gut the kitchen and add a header so the risk is gone.
i'll still have my newly arranged kitchen/entry/mudroom, but at much less cost than a new truss roofing system.
i will also probably end up with ikea cabs, instead of custom. plus i'm ferreting out marble slabs to reuse as counters and i'll use formica where ever needed instead of soapstone.
overall, i'm not borrowing a huge amount, but i will be doubling my debt load no matter how i slice it.
i think i've made up my mind to just do it---i was feeling worried and down earlier while in the chemo ward--easy to do that there!

i should add that the loan will cover the current mortgage, and a new septic system. ours has failed officially and we have an engineered and state approved plan in hand--just waiting for spring.
i appreciate the input, it helps a lot!

Septic system and snow roof loads...those are things I would definitely spend my money on. In the future, you're going to be the one who has to deal with these problems, so good idea, to fix them now.

Ikea cabinets can look really nice, and I like your idea about looking for marble slabs to reuse. My mom has the dark formica on her countertops and she loves it! It looks like a granite (you don't see any seam, because it's dark) and there's no glare on the surface, when she's cooking :)

Good luck with your remodel!

Hi Fallingwaters,
I just want to tell you that I am renovating my kitchen right now and if you want to do a great kitchen on a small budget you can. It takes resourcesfulness and time though. I just bought a brand new Electrolux wall oven still in crate for $200 on Craigslist (list price around $2000 and a used Anderson French Patio Door (list $1800) for $450 and a brand new highly acclaimed (on GW) Caldera 30 inch stainless steel gas cooktop for $399 from AJ Madison on line. I found my hutch by the side of the road for free and refinished it. Ceramic tile is a very durable and inexpensive counter material. Classic too. Just don't do light or white grout. I'm getting a Swanstone Ascend sink that is beautiful, durable (I got a piece of it from the company and beat on it with all kinds of things) and guess what....inexpensive. I'm going to do open shelving instead of upper cabs with doors in 50% of my kitchen and install them only 16" above the counters so I can reach them. I was a 'monitor' last summer in one of the houses on a kitchen tour in my (upscale) area and one of the favorite kitchens of everyone on the tour was the "IKEA Kitchen" I worked. This year when I went on the tour again, there was another house with an IKEA kitchen. Both years the homeowners raved about the quality/durability/price ratio. The house I'm doing the kitchen over in now I bought 3 years ago. I know if I over-improve I will not get a good return on my investment. The house I sold 3 years ago I had renovated constantly for 36 years!!!! When I went to sell, my house value was based on how many rooms I had; how many bathrooms; and if I had a garage (I didn't). I was compared to other properties of the same description in my neighborhood....none of which were improved anywhere near as much as ours. I advise not to over-improve. You can still have a great renovation. Watch Craigslist in your area every day or so. Look at closeouts at appliance stores. GW is great but not so relevant for those of us with limited funds or a desire to buy only what we really need. I went to someone's house the other day to see her kitchen reno. She had a Viking cooktop w/6 burners and double ovens. I asked her "do you cook?" "Not really" she said. Ofcourse all this is just my personal opinion and a little bit of ranting. Maybe I need to justify taking a budget concious route on a forum that seems to focus a lot on bigger (size/price/footprint) is better. Good luck.

fallingwaters-

I'm from BTV and from your other posts, know pretty much where you live (don't worry, I'm not a stalker and I don't even live in your state anymore). Your area is unique, a resort area but not a resort town, and buildable land is scarce and fraught with issues. Given that, when (if?) the area booms again, you may stand to reap the benefits if you sell or if you take on roomates, you know there are always folks looking for a place to live for the season there, and resort areas attract people who are used to nice housing and whose daddies are willing to pay for their kids to have a nice place to live when they are spending a year or two playing ski bum.

But I'm an optimest who tries like hell to live for today, and who 6 years ago sold our overvalued home (in your state), moved to a much more affordable place and fulfilled our dream of building a house on a large, freshwater lake, so take my advice FWIW. Many people think we are crazy for doing what we did, but it's worked so far, and if things go haywire, well, so far we've had 6 great years living in a place we love in a house we love, so you won't hear us complain.

Good luck-

sandyponder

eek!!! sandy, is that you?!!

lol, i think about the resort the same way you do, so thanks.
get in touch if you come back to town if you'd like.

fallingwaters, I'm sorry about your circumstances. You've received some good advice.I'm not sure I could add anymore.

I wanted to say to Florantha "Well said" and to Colorlady, your kitchen sounds like it's going to be fabulous. People have different wants , needs and budgets and in the end they just want a kitchen they can enjoy. I have found that the ones with the biggest budgets are also the ones who are so comlimentary about the "budget kitchens" I agree with you about Ikea kitchens. I toured a house once and the Real Estate agent couldn't stop talking about how beautiful the kitchen was. When I told her it was an Ikea kitchen she couldn't believe it.

I wish you all the best fallingwaters!

thankyou everyone, i so appreciate your well wishes and input.
this is going to be such an inexpensive remodel, you have no idea!
the addition is 12x38, added across the back of the house. about half will be kitchen and the other half back door into mudroom.
i am taking a 12' marvin slider out of the front of the living room and replacing it with a regular entry door.
that's a transitional space anyway, smack dab between the other rooms.
so the slider gets moved to the new mudroom--12' slider now faces the brook and newly terraced back yard, which is aprt of my new septic system and is non-negotiable. that must happen this spring no matter what.
we'll add the huge header or replace the entire roof, depending upon our builder's cost saving ideas and price.
the new kitchen overtakes the other half of the 12x38 space as well as current small entry.
a couple of windows and doors get moved, that's about it.
new cabs and counters, otherwise we're re-using all appliances and two sinks, plus lighting.
we're adding the dual sided high efficiency woodstove too, which will cut our heating costs.
so most of the budget is going to framimg, electric and plumbing. i tripled the estimate on almost every component, so i hope to heck i come close!
i'm hoping for drawings from the architect tonight, finally i get to see it on paper!

dh and i have been adding and subtracting for hours today--we think we can borrow enough to get framed and watertight, and pay for the rest as we go.
it's really helpful to have your views, it makes me think outside of what i want vs what i fear.

fallingwaters~
I don't have anything really to add to the other responses, but want you to know that I have you and your health concerns in my heart and hope that things will get better for both you and your DH.

Do you have any children living at home? I know you "want" to do the remodeling right now, but is it a real "need"? Personally, I would wait until all chemo is done and you both will be in a better frame of mind to think about this remodeling project..there will be so many decisions that take your energy and it would be a shame to stress to the point of not enjoying life.

God bless and keep us informed on what you decide.

fallingwaters-
sandyponder is only my handle, my real name isn't sandy or even anything close, so I'm not who you think I may be. I'm just a Vermonter who got weary of the change in VT and went looking for a place that resembled the VT of my childhood. But I am very familiar with where you live, and I wish you the best with your health situations and with your remodel.

sandyponder

Sandy- Did you find it? It sounds like a pretty place. Of course, if you tell everyone, it won't be, right? :)

fallingwaters, have you looked into septic loans in your state. Iowa has a low cost program. It would pay you to look at it if it's available there. Search waste water loans VT.
I identify with your delimma. I spent my nest egg on a new kitchen (Truly one of the lowest total cost kitchens on this site.) and budget bathroom w/walk in shower. I was 63 at the time. If not now, when? I smile every time I walk into either of those rooms. Maybe in 10 years I will be sorry I spent it, but I'll have 10 great years using it. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. A man had a heart attack at work today. he died. I'm sure that wasn't on his To Do List for today. You already know your health issues. If it were me, I'd spend it. Get the house you want. I've put more money into this house than I'll get out because I didn't improve it for someone else. I improved it for ME.

Here is a link that might be useful: IOWA waste water loans

I think I'd be careful how I spent it, but if you will enjoy the process and this is your "bucket list", then I'd go ahead (again, carefully).
The longer the wait to do it, the shorter the time you will enjoy it. I have done things many times and wondered why the heck I did not do that sooner. I am very cautious and it sounds like you are too. I bargain shopped and am pinching pennies til they scream, lol. However, I have waited a long time to get a home that is done and is where I feel is our family nest for the long term. I work hard and save everywhere else, so this is our splurge.

I think it may also make your dh happy to see you getting what you have waited for for so long. It would be lovely if he could enjoy it for a while with you. If he is with you on this and likes planning and working on it with you, this could be a project that gives you time together and it may be therapeutic to see tangible results. We can't always control our health, so maybe controlling your surroundings is a way to feel a little power again. I do like that your focus is on looking forward.
I would just caution that you do not mortgage more than you could get for the house, although since most banks won't let you do that anymore, that is less of a concern. You don't want to find that you can't afford to live there and yet can't afford to sell later on. I'd also hate to leave any heirs with a financial mess. You do not owe anyone to make them rich, but I'd hate to have my passing make someone I love poor.
I do like your plan for taking on a roommate or renting out an apt. It is a great fallback position and a way to generate money regardless of your health. We rented out part of our first house and it helped us be able to move along and gain equity enough to now be in our second house and in the process of fixing it up. Some people were aghast at having to live with a tenant downstairs, but then again, most of them are not as well off now as we are ;)
I wish you and your dh all the best and hope you have longer with him than expected.

fallingwaters, I really don't have anything to add to what's already been said. I think you've gotten many different perspectives here and lots of good advice. It sounds like you've made your decision. Sometimes that's the hardest part--deciding when you're ready. Your setting sounds idyllic, and many of your improvements sound necessary--not cosmetic.

I wish only the very best for you and DH and will keep you both in my thoughts.

I wish you both the best and my thoughts are with you. I'm normally a cautious person when it comes to money, and my first thought was don't do it. But, I think you deserve it and it will bring you happiness. I love Ikea cabs. I say go for it.