I have no suggestions for you, but want to sympathize with your agony :) It has been a long, hard decision for me too. I find myself even having dreams about it, and I know I am driving my husband crazy with my lack of ability to make a decision! Good luck Elle.

So by "too busy" do you prefer a granite with more movement and less of a "speckled" effect? For me, most all granites are "busy". ANY granite with its inherent stone will be busy compared to formica. If you like the 1 tone of formica, perhaps getting a Ceasarstone countertop would be a nice compromise. A bit more tones than formica but not as busy as granite(depending on choice, of course, but...)

Also, if you can post a picture of your kitchen so we can see the actual space, that is easier to offer suggestions. The Ceasarstone I think would perhaps be a compromise would be one of the following:
Desert Limestone
Baja
Buttermilk
Champagne Limestone

I googled your husband's choices and although they have pattern, they are not as busy as you can get in a granite. First thing first is that you both have to agree on a color and then how busy. My first thought too after white formica was that I did not want movement! Guess what? We chose a dark giallo ornamental with movement. Look at the finished kitchen blog for inspiration. Going to a granite yard can be over whelming.

Hi elle..

My sister has "Fire Bordeaux" with her med. cherry cabs and black appliances. I wish I had a close-up, but it's calm in my opinion, with a creamy greyish background and some mild coloring swirling through it. It's very different from what I chose, but I love it in her kitchen.

Here's a link to the granite yard where she found it. Fire Bordeaux is on Page 4....

KA:)

Here is a link that might be useful: fire bordeaux pg. 4 of Exotic Granites

I'll take photos of my kitchen when I get home from work, but here is a photo of my cabinets we want to match. http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/1/5/6/2/0/7/7/webimg/511813892_o.jpg

I have very dark cabinets and tropic brown granite...I prefer light granite with lots of movement, but I am really glad we ended up with tropic brown in our kitchen... it isn't "busy" IMO and it gives the room a more traditional feel. best of all it always looks clean-no staining or marks ever. Not sure if it's a color you would consider but just my 2 cents:)

I totally feel your pain. I have been looking at granite in at least three different states and for 6 months!!! Ok, I was just visiting those states and saw a granite yard and pulled over so it wasn't like I made a special trip but that should tell you how much it's bugging me, lol. I know what you are going through. It makes it doubly hard when you and hubby aren't on the same page. I found one that is so beautiful called Colonial Gold it didn't look like most of the Colonial Gold slabs I have seen it was very soothing the pattern was very uniform and reminded me of water flowing. Wish I had a photo of it. I also think that Bianco Romano is less frenetic and Kashmir Gold or Kashmir White were nice. Ceasarstone is just too much like the Corian I had for 14 years so I just didn't want to get that if I could avoid it, though I am sure it is a wonderful product.

I feel your pain! I have been wrestling with granit/tile/quartz for a month. I think we have finally decided on Persa Avorio granite for counter and BS. It is tan/gold, grays and black. Most of the different slabs I have seen in pics are pretty consistent. I think it is more subtle than a lot of the granites we saw but has nice movement. We also liked Golden Beach, but there is a lot of variation in the different slabs. There is a thread on here for Persa Avorio...not sure how to link it.....

I struggled for MONTHS .... so many choices and I knew I'd ever get to do it again (because of the money and finally saving up enough to have the granite in the first place!). I finally chose one called Giallo Napoli ... ended up totally in love with it. My cabinets are white and I have the black and stainless in my kitchen like you do. I didn't want too many competing colors. My granite has a tricky chocolate-amethyst that would look AWESOME with your cabinets with the black veining in them. Here is my post from when I was lurking around trying to figure out what to do ... I, like you, didn't think I would like 'busy' granite with slight/some movement ... it worked for me though, although I STILL haven't chosen a floor yet ... did you say what your floor is?
http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/kitchbath/msg0211302019266.html

Here is a link that might be useful: GammyMommy's post & pics

Here is ours...absolutely luv it!
Cashmere Gold.....
Did you ever think of doing a solid outer (eg black) and color/movement for main part of kitchen? It does look fabulous !

http://i1011.photobucket.com/albums/af233/flatman/Kitchen%20Oct%202011/f76b55a9.png

http://i1011.photobucket.com/albums/af233/flatman/Kitchen%20Oct%202011/011239ae.png

The wood is pretty! I probably wouldn't do something with lots of waves since you do have a lot of "movement" in the cabinet itself.

Something like mine might work. Or kitchenaddict's (I can't remember the name) if you want similar without the caramel colors.