Trendy Discussion, Part the Second
12 years ago
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Sexless marriage discussion Part II
Comments (10)Being in a relationship such as this one, can strike mortal blows to one's self esteem. There is no respectable outlet to obtain assurance of your desirability. That doesn't mean that you are lacking in that area. You have to make an active choice not to let your mate's lack of interest define you. Every day make the conscious decision to affirm yourself. Don't let their choice not to engage you in a healthy way control how you view yourself. Don't give your personal Power away. We all know what the definition of a healthy marriage is. Once you come to the realization that you are not the blame for, cannot control the situation or change it all by yourself, you can then restore some balance in your life. There is no point in banging your head against a brick wall. The unegaged partner has to not only want to change but have the drive and persistence to work at it thru whatever medium they then choose. Then, together you can set some goals. However, oftentimes in these situations the problems are long standing with mutual particiation in fights and talks about it with negative results. All of the issues work together to create a complicated maze of issues. I read somewhere that in these situations the sexlessness accounts for 90% of the other problems that the couples complain about. Struggling with this issue impacts upon all the other aspects of married life. For me the teachings of Alanon saved my sanity and gave me new tools that helped me to maintain my marriage. The bottom line is about how you finally decide to choose how you want to live by making an inventory of your life goals and needs. Then choose. Explore all the avenues available to make changes that will help your marriage and work at it. When you reach your "rock bottom", then the time comes to decide. Stay in Peace or go .... hopefully with Peace. Good Luck to all who are dealing with this issue....See MoreAnyone else irritated by Restoration Hardware's new policies?
Comments (25)I had to chuckle to myself, after reading this thread yesterday then looking at the last two issues of Elle Decor. One had a 6 full-page ad (beginning with the inside cover $$$) for RH. The other, and now I can't put my finger on it, had a two full-page ad that literally said "We heard you" - about a smaller scale furniture/lighting line for those of "you" that live in smaller scaled homes/apartments/condos. I see where they are putting their money. Oh, good... found an article online about it "Big Style, Small Spaces" (linked below) You may or may not be interested to hear about a press release I received - they are coming out with kitchen cabinets. I guess they're doing well with the bathroom vanities. I was in the store recently looking at their outdoor pillow selection (ended up buying elsewhere, but he did say they had most in stock). Did not like the new look of the store - dark gray walls, weird music. Did not like a lot of the furniture, etc displayed. But I did take a look at the bathroom vanities. They seem well made - nice wood, construction, heavy, easy to open/close. Here is a link that might be useful: RH Article...See MoreTrendy Discussion, Trois.
Comments (87)I hadn't seen the DWR kitchens. Remodelista and Apartment therapy have the same press release. The cabinets shown look heavy to me, probably because of the edges that stick out. The Viola Park and Henrybuilt above are much cleaner looking. Both of those photos look really dated to me, in a way that other Modern cabinets, especially the Euro ones, don't. Perhaps it's just a matter of what I've seen. The above look like kitchens that I've seen in houses they were original and new styles in. ... Come to think of it, though, for all that Modern is enduring, Poggenpohl and Pedini are showing different looks within that now than the ones I was seeing fifteen years ago. Maybe Henrybuilt just needs to update their advert photos? I absolutely agree that their forms could work in just about any house if detailed right. Modern endures unless it's '80's red or blue lacquer. :) In a neutral material/color, inc. the Henrybuilt woods and the Viola white, it is very little black dress. I think the most "insistent" thing about the Henrybuilt, however, is the hardware. That absolutely plugs it as Modern, whereas the flat slabs of the Viola could be any flat slab Euro, across many decades. It's all pull doors, but otherwise doesn't look much different from my own bamboo, which is much quainter looking. Of course, the other thing that makes the Viola Park is the lack of clutter with the flush cooktop, hidden hood, and, presumably, integrated everything else. I've always agreed, in general, about the age of house/period of kitchen thing, though sometimes the locale and/or style of the house have more to say about it. Even when I was thinking white kitchen, it was never going to be Peacock Scullery-ish, and certainly not inset with cup pulls. That would look really off in my 25 year old house. So would a lot of Art Nouveau. The house is rectilinear, and too new. OTOH, the little A.N. details, work, and help make my kitchen look grown in place rather than slapped on top. I think it's a case of what a colleague called "instant ancestors". That was about using clipart photos in a collage. The portraits give a sense, in the collage, of a community, with history. It doesn't matter that they're not the actual people from an actual community. They convey the message just by their presence. Using some details from days gone by in a kitchen (whether salvage or repro), like using old family pieces and/or antiques in another room, will give some temporal depth to the room and make the date much less obvious....See MoreThings that are trendy that we "hate"
Comments (152)Sheila, in a restaurant, those are called hightops and they started out as seating in the bar area. They are convenient to servers because there is no bending to serve at the table, and some restaurants like them because they take up slightly less room than a table of the same size. Why? because you sit on a stool, which is slightly smaller and your legs hang down slightly and take up a bit less room than with your feet flat on the floor, And in a restaurant, 12 tables instead of 10 can make a big difference. For home use they are an outgrowth of counter height seating at an island. It's kind of like having island seating but more flexible and smaller than an island so it may satisfy some people who don't have an island with seating. I don't find them particularly practical or useful in kitchens, but I have used them in gamerooms. In the kitchen I prefer to sit with my feet on the floor....See More- 12 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
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