I think that is fairly standard practice. The retainer fee may differ a bit. The process has to start with a visit to the showroom. You should have a rough idea of the dimensions of the room, ceiling height, and such. Take pictures of the space. This will all help with preliminary discussions with the kitchen designer.

I'm in Westchester and that's the way most of those we spoke with worked. The person we ended up using asked us to take rough measurements and pictures first and bring them in. He used those to come up with an approximation of what he thought things could/should look like and drew up some preliminary sketches and got us some estimated cabinet quotes. Once we decided we liked him and gave a deposit, he came out to take exact measurements and did a more detailed plan for us all to tweak. I thought the arrangement made sense. We got a decent feel for him before giving him any money, but he didn't have to spend hours taking detailed measurements and spinning his wheels for no return.

PS: Here's the link to my original post announcing the completion of our kitchen.

Here is a link that might be useful: Hellonasty Kitchen

I can't help you with LI specifically. There ought to be a range of practices available though. Ought to be a few places that will agree to take a look, free, after you stop in. They may or may not tell you that on the phone.
You stand a better chance of getting what your by having a person to person conversation. The KD will want to determine if they have a chance of meeting your requirements and your budget at the same time. The better the odds of that look to them the more likely they are to bend. Of course many won't, but very few will be willing to decide that on a phone call alone.

I am a LIer. I ended up going out of state to get my cabinets because I found LI so overpriced. Nonetheless, I shopped extensively on LI and found that no one will give you a price break down and it can takes weeks of communication before you can get any idea of price.

Kitchendesign.com is the web site of Ken Kelly kitchens, as mentioned by hellonasty above. I believe their design fees are credited towards your cabinetry purchase and the $5000 fee only applies if you end up not using them and want a copy of the design. I did not use them due to budget, but I was impressed with the advice they gave me during my free consultation. I was impressed that they were willing to share layout ideas and essential decisions points without a retainer. I also liked that they gave me a price range for my cabinets on the spot whereas every other shop on LI took weeks to give any idea of price. KK was one of the first shops I went to and I thought their price was very high as I had initial sticker shock. Having priced cabinets at at least 10 other LI retails, I can now say they are in line with other places.

LI cabinet retailers want you to come to their store and fall in love with a particular door style and they will generally talk to you about what you want, storage needs, etc. Most are willing to visit your home after you visit the showroom and you seem willing to move forward. I found that most LI shops will take several weeks to give you any idea of price and it is near impossible to comparison shop.

Packard Cabinetry in Sea Cliff seemed strong on design and had some unique ideas for my space. Artistic Kitchens on 347 in Smithtown area (next to Carrabas) also had good design sense. Lakeville Industries in Lindenhurst area has a great showroom and they sit with you and do a design mock up (they seemed to work mostly with Medallion cabinets and I never got the price for the Plain and Fancy cabinets I actually was interested in). North Shore Cabinetry was also strong on design, and I know 2 people who used them and have great kitchens. Their price was highest of all I priced.

If I had to do it again, I would try to find an independent designer and then shop the same design to different shops to get cabinetry prices. Good Luck, I think LI is an especially tough market.

Thanks all. This was really helpful! Especially the reassurance about KitchenDesigns.com in Williston Park. I really want someone who has experience in eco-friendly kitchen remodeling, and when I saw a compost pail built into the counter on their blog, I knew that was the right place for me. I guess I will just have to drive out to Nassau and do the appropriate prep work on my own ahead of time.

Olivertwist - I don't think you can go wrong with KK. If money was no object, I would have went with them... and ordered the Woodmode Tuscan Sun cabs on the spot.

olivertwist, good luck. Please keep us posted on your progress.

Met with Ken Kelly today. loved him. Haven't met with anyone else and don't really want to. foolish to go ahead without getting a 2nd opinion?

try 5 star kitchen design in Valley Stream... BRuce is pretty good... not pricey and very amicable..

Glad you liked Ken Kelly. They're great, right? Looking back, we probably should have gotten quotes from other companies. I did go in to a few stores and talked to the sales people but didn't get actual quotes because I either didn't like the cabinets or didn't get a good vibe off the people. Mario at KKKD was the first person to understand my vision. And like I said in my long post above, we clicked right away with the vision and he just rocked it from the get go! He didn't try and talk me into or out of anything. We liked the Brookhaven cabs and that we could go semi customer with Woodmode pieces where we needed. He was quick to reply to any emails or phone calls I made and was readily available. So we went with them without getting any other quotes. I'd probably want more quotes now that I have a kitchen reno under my belt and understand things better. I knew nothing when we first started planning and together with Mario and this Forum I leaned a ton.

With that said... maybe just got to one or 2 other places and see how you feel. Maybe get another quote or 2 so you will feel totally comfortable when you make your final decision.

I want to add: I did mention this before, but we did not use KKKD's contractor. We got a quote from them, and a quote from our own contractor, and ours (who we used before and knew did excellent work) came in lower. It probably would have been easier to let KKKD take care of the whole entire thing... I wound up managing the entire thing, making sure everything was happening when it needed to be. But I wasn't working during the reno so I had the time be be around a lot. I have a great contractor if you need one.