Who will be doing most of the cooking and spend most time in the kitchen? You? Then stick with what you love.

I think it makes sense that the person that spends more time in the kitchen and does more of the work gets to pick what they will like to be surrounded by. However if it is equally divided by the family then you'd need to find a common ground for all.

I think your choices sounds great. Have you shown the pics to your family too?

No...they have not seen the pics yet....I am printing them out today for them. Funny...I found two more pictures this morning in a gardenweb thread! I will be the one spending more time in the kitchen than anyone else, so it just makes more sense to have it like I want it. If you look in this thread, you'll see the kitchens of 1sandler and also teresab1. Those are perfect!! Dark cabinets, but lighter (and very interesting) granite with lighter backsplashes.

Here is a link that might be useful: granite/dark wood

The Santa Ceceilias or almost Juparanas would look FABULOUS with your pics. Stick to your guns girl!!

I can relate. DH did not agree with my kitchen vision. I think partyl b/c he's not great at imagining things and partly b/c he mostly likes what he's used to. Still, I stressed over it a while and was about to give in when he told me that he realized it didn't make any sense for him to choose since I spend much more time in the kitchen. He washes most of the dishes so he wanted a single bowl sink and he really wanted an all fridge so he got those things.

I think if you;re the main kitchen user you should go with your vision.

I agree, if your the main person in the kitchen you should go with your heart. I think your choices will be wonderful!

Stick to your guns. My master bath, with just one little octagon window is going to have chocolate cherry cabinets, and crocodile tile. When I told people, they just couldn't see the vision....now that it's coming together, everyone is floored at how rich and wonderful it's turning out. Stick to your guns :) And worst case...if it looks like crap, you can just lie and say you love it for a few years (then paint it white) (LOL Ok that was my thought process on the bath heh heh....and we won't need to lie)

I think your choices sound lovely, but I must admit I'm a bit biased because we chose a similar color scheme...

Here is a link that might be useful:

Is your daughter paying any of the bills for the kitchen...or the mortgage?? ;) If not then she really doesn't get much say. Hubby on the other hand... :) If I understood correctly, the main issue is the paint color. Paint it what you want first and after a month of living with it it is still an issue, then start looking at another color (this can take another few months and by then perhaps everyone has forgotten about the issue). I do want to tell you my sister painted her kitchen a nice creamy yellow color....took them 7 different yellows to finally find one that didn't look like different shades of yellow in different part of her kitchen because she's got some angles like a vaulting ceiling and a nitch where the frig sits. Took them MONTHS to get a color that looked the same everywhere in the kitchen.

I say talk DH into at least trying the paint color....that is really the only compromise at this point. It's not like your going to return your cabinets for ones with a new color, kwim?

Tell him you'll compromise on the paint color (which can be easily changed) but not the stain. Then when you post various sample paint colors, you can both decide...to make you happy!

Tell your DD that everything looks "old fashioned" that isn't currently in style. In a few years your DH's and DD's choices may be "old fashioned" and your choices the current trend! Some are already saying that "dark exotic granite" is on its way out!

I echo Lyfia's sentiment that if you spend the most time in the kitchen you should have the deciding vote (children, btw, shouldn't count since they grow up and leave!)

thanks for the input everyone. Ilku05, I'm going to show him your kichen too. Hisgal2, I really think his main issue is he wants a dark exotic granite and I think the kitchen would be dark if I had dark cabs AND dark granite...and I don't want to bend on the stain color. He doesn't care what color I paint it. I think I'll drag him to the stone yard again with the sample cabinet door in tow so he can see that there are exotic granites in lighter shades too. He just had his heart set on one we saw that was so streaky and beautiful, but too dark. The color of the floor is pretty much set in stone and I refuse to budge on that....natural finish, no stain. So everything in the color scheme hinges around my wanting a contrast between the floor and the cabinets. I can either go dark, which is my preference, or white which is not an option at this point since the cabinet guy already spent a bundle on the oak. I think once he sees the pictures I am printing out for him and he goes to look at granite again, he may see it my way.

Go with your gut. I second guessed myself on a few different decisions, especially late in the process. Fortunately each time someone said to me, This has been your vision from the beginning. Go with it. I did and I'm so glad I did. You have a picture in your own mind of what this kitchen will look like. The chances that you'll regret doing it that way are miniscule compared with the chance that, if you give in and change, you'll regret THAT decision. Stick with your guns!

For sure show the family lots of pictures so that they can get the idea. If it were me, and my family did not like how the kitchen turned out, I wouldn't be happy. However, they just might not see your vision.

My son does not like a lot of what I suggest but when he sees it all put together when it is done, he likes it a lot, which pleases me.

Is this what you're thinking of? Love this kitchen.

Here is a link that might be useful: kitchen

Can his beloved dark exotic granite go somewhere else? I've had my heart set on one myself for YEARS, honestly. But lately I've come to realize I'll have to find a different place for it because it doesn't match how I want my kitchen to look. I think one day it will be the bar in the basement. Maybe.

I don't think you should completely discount DH wishes especially since this is the only thing that he seems to feel strongly about. It's funny because even though I do a lot of the kitchen legwork - my DH will come up with ideas that improves the end product. Like for the backsplash he mentioned how he really wanted something to divide the bottom from the main bricklike pattern. When I look at the finished product I see his suggestion made it a better backsplash. It makes me feel better looking at the kitchen to know we both contributed to the end product and it was something we came up with together. So to be fair I would say to show him pictures of what you are thinking because maybe he can't visualize it but also look to find examples of what he is thinking about because maybe you aren't visualizing what he has in mind because you have a certain picture in your mind. See if you can reconcile the two. If you have a center island - would it be possible to have that with the darker stain and light countertop while the rest of the kitchen has the lighter wood and dark exotic countertop or maybe could you maybe do the reverse. Also, I know you said you have a lot of overhead light etc. but with the one main window and what sounds like a large kitchen I think it would be a different having lighter rather than dark cabinets. I have dark cabinets with the light counter and sounds like roughly the same size kitchen as you and I definitely have to use the task lighting to keep it bright and feel like I have to turn on several switches to feel like enough light is in the kitchen. Is that part of your DH concerns? Would/could a skylight help or be possible? If you want that old fashion look, is there anyway to combine painted cabinets with the granite your husband likes? I think of paint as a way to get the old fashion look and still get some contrast with the floor. I'm including the link to one of the finished kitchens that I thought was completely stunning. She seemed to have the darker cabinet color mixed with a painted (grayish blue) for the island cabinet.

Here is a link that might be useful: Allison0704 kitchen

I'll be the voice of dissent here. Largely because of your opening sentences: My DH and I have been building our own house for the last 5 years. It's nearly done. I have been involved in every aspect of this house from hammering nails, laying block, pulling wires and doing all the design work.

If you and your DH and your daughter are building your house together from the ground up to that extent, I hate the idea of spoiling all that with the very petulant "but you don't pay the bills and I will spend more time here and therefore I get to have what I want ... ". Don't do it, ccomb1! It sounds like such a petty and juvenile argument to close the project on, when you have undertaken such a monumental job as a family.

By all means, pull together your example pictures and convince them (and you!) over to your side that the picture you have is a winner. On the other hand, if they aren't convinced, I do suggest that you keep an open mind also and see if there is a stain that would work with the dark granite you husband wants, or what exactly it is your daughter sees in her minds eye.

BTW, I agree with you that QS white oak is so, so, so gorgeous that it shouldn't be covered with a stain! It really is something else isn't it? I used it as a backsplash on one wall where the design objective had been to have it stained dark to contrast more sharply with my very light stained nordic-ash cabinets, but when the boards were made, I couldn't bring myself to have that be stained.

That said, I think that if you have a white oak floor, and with so much openness, a dark granite and dark cabinetry won't be overwhelming and infact, can look very refined. Depends on what granite you get and with what stain, but IMO, the most elegant and most stupendous kitchens that I've ever seen have been dark on dark ones and light-on-light ones.

Good luck. Once again, a tip of my hat to you and your family for the huge job you are taking on! For a lark, my husband and I worked on one little bath together - a little 5 x 8 one that we did most of the legwork on. I have to tell you that it is a wonder that we still have 4 legs, 4 hands, 20 fingers and thumbs and two heads between us.

budge1...yep...that's perfect. I am printing that one out too.

I would never want this kitchen to cause disharmony in this house. If I went against everyone's wishes, it would hang over my head forever. Which is why I need to convince them that the kitchen I have envisioned is the perfect one. lol!! I really think once they see all these pictures (I think I have 16 of them printed), maybe they will get a better idea of my vision. As much as I would LOVE to have a center island in white with a really great granite on it, there is no room. the kitchen is 12' wide, but it's galley style with the arched openings on one end, and a hallway to the bath, master BR and laundry on the other. So with 24" worth of counters along each wall, that only leaves 8' in the middle. I love the look of a center island done completly differently from the rest of the kitchen but it's too late now. I wish I had thought of that when I was drawing the plans for this house. If this room had more natural light I don't think this would be an issue at all. I think the dark counters would be fine with dark granite. Because of a gabled roof that is above the kitchen's roof, a regular sky light won't work. I may look into solar tubes though.

This house building project has been a huge undertaking. It's actually the 3rd one we've done, and it is our last. We lived in each one for at least 5 years, but I'll live in this one for the rest of my life. I'm getting too old to do this!! This weekend, I will be installing 900 sq ft of white oak. then I get to tile the bathroom and laundry room floors. But at least the end is in sight. We are on schedule to move in by the first of next year. You cannot imagine how nice it will be to move out of that horrible old single wide we are now living in. The day they hook up to that trailer and pull it out from in front of the new house will be a VERY happy day!!

I would want my family to like the kitchen, too, but it's hard to tell without knowing yours....Are they ones to throw out their opinion, but then walk away and really won't notice later? Or will your choices be something they really dislike? Mine, when pressed, might give an opinion opposing mine, but there are certain things that I know they really won't care about or notice later, that I will. Do they really have a whole vision, or just preferences for parts and pieces? It all makes a difference.

I had a certain vision for our kitchen for a long time, and the family was all on board. When I felt strongly about changing that vision to something more serene and organic, they weren't too sure they liked it. But in my gut I KNEW it was going to be much better for us all, especially over time...Past the first 'wow' and into enjoying it for years. Plus, it was going to matter much more to me in the long run, and my daughters will have their own homes to choose things for later. Ultimately they entrusted that final decision to me and now love the results.

You are already doing the best thing...Finding photos to share until you can all agree on something, or they can at least have a good understanding of your wishes.

Listen to them but stick to your guns. I relented on our cabinet stain choice (I wanted dark, Hubby wanted light) and I seriously regret it. Even worse - the lighter stain I agreed to is not the stain we wound up with.

To me the stain in our kitchen looks absolutely horrible. For weeks after it was done and the granite was in I just wanted to cry every time I looked at it. I still hate it but there's nothing I can do about it now.

Before we went forward with "final" choices, we had one kitchen cabinet built as a mockup. (It wasn't wasted because it ultimately went into the basement.) Then we had sample "doors" finished to test that. Our final choice went with us to the stone yard, along with a sample of our flooring, and we picked out a granite completely different than what we expected. Paint color & backsplash came last. Paint is the easiest to change of all the kitchen materials.

You & your family should decide which is more important: the stain color or the granite, pick that, & then work on the rest. Materials & color should "speak" to you. Great style is timeless, yet at some point everything is "dated".

Rhome, I think that's just it. DH is not seeing the kitchen a whole....he's seeing the granite and not realizing that everything needs to work together. He wants the exotic granite for the WOW factor but I think he is not realizing that the wrong granite or a kitchen that is too dark will not have the wow factor he is wanting. I think maybe these pictures and another trip to the granite yard will really help. I don't think my hubby or daughter has put as much effort into coordinating the interior of this house as I have....they are each just seeing favorite bits and pieces of the picture and not the finished kitchen. I really do believe they will like the end result, if they just trust my judgement on this one. DH has already admitted he has no taste. lol!!

gizmomike...the way I see it, there are not too many wonderful stain colors that I like that harmonize with the white oak flooring. This stain is perfect. A little lighter may be OK too, but this one is perfect. But on the flip side....there are MANY granites I like!! When DH and I went to the granite yard before, we must have seen a dozen we were crazy over. That's why I need to take him back there. He needs to be reminded that the dark exotic he has stuck in his head is not the only pretty granite that we saw.

well, problem is solved. My cabinet guy just called to get the dimensions for my microwave and said that's the only box he still has to build....and staining has started on the other boxes. So too late!! lol!!

DH is OK....I showed him the pictures and he said as long as we get a light granite with a WOW factor, he's be happy with the kitchen.

LOL. It's funny, I was just going to write that your husband isn't looking for pretty granite as much as a WOW factor granite and if you can find a light granite with that he would probably be happy. Okay so I guess your next thing is to post a picture of the cabinet with the stain and the flooring and get the gardenweb crew to come up with some WOW factor granite options :)

I'll do just that! I am hoping the cabinets will be done within the next two weeks or so. I need to get my butt in gear and get my oak down! I think I'll do that this weekend. Or at least start it. It's going to take a while.

Go with your "HEART" as you are the one who has to live with it........Razenette

following my heart was the right choice. Half the cabinets have arrived and they are incredible. My hubby and daughter agree....the cabinets are just perfect.

That's terrific to hear! We need pictures to admire when you can.

So glad to hear it! Now, what granite did you choose? And tell dh that the dark granites "show" streaks and messes.

Igloochic,

You fascinate me. What on earth is crocodile tile? I'm doing my kitchen and have been following different threads on GW, mainly the Bluestar vs. Lacanache tussle going on. Right now I am planning on the Sully 1800, provence yellow, with linen-white cabinets, oak floor. I may consider staining my floors a medium brown, right now they are blonde. If I remember, you also have a Lacanache.... which one? Any recommendation for convection vs. electric oven?

Thanks Igloo ---- Irishgirl

p.s. I'd like to shoot you an e-mail privately, so keep your eyes open!

There are lots of lighter granites with WOW power. Mine is one of them.

Mine is Yellow River and it goes with lots of different colors.

This picture shows it being templated. You can see the colors a bit better.

Here is a Quartzite (yes, it is a natural stone-not man made), that I seriously considered.

However a gentleman behind me bought it out from under me!

Here is another quartzite that looks like marble

There are lots and lots of pretty choices!

oh, those are ALL gorgeous!!! It may be a little while before I get granite...we are paying as we go I still have to finish paying for the appliances. But granite is next!! I am excited about the lighter granite choices that have the WOW factor my hubby wants, but are still light enough for me to be happy with them.

mustbnuts--what is the name of the quartzite that looks like marble that you posted above - its gorgeous!

I learned from past mistakes of mine that in the end, if your heart calls out to you, you must listen to your heart above all else.

I have no business chiming in, as I just showed up at the end, but I want to add my vote for light countertops, but for a specific reason I haven't seen mentioned.
From a purely design standpoint, I think it's the right choice because of the light floor. It can be a very good idea to keep all the surfaces that are in the same plane similar in tone...that is, all the horizontal surfaces should be toned similarly, and all the vertical surfaces toned together.
The exception would be if you had a dark floor, you could handle a light countertop, but the reverse makes the countertop visually heavier than the floor, which will unsettle you in a very subtle way.
I think this is particularly true in a kitchen, which has so many visual elements. It keeps the overall effect quieter and more peaceful, in my view.
Think about backsplashes that add the same level of richness/color saturation as your cabinet stain, using a color that appears somewhere in the countertop, so that your eye isn't continually jumping from dark to light, and so that the countertop has a relationship with the whole.

Is he going to have an outside area for grilling? If so, he can get a little bar area with the granite of his choosing on the "outside" kitchen area. Everyone's happy and gets to make a choice.

That's such a hard question to answer. Of course, you are the person who will use the kitchen most and you are the person who has the vision. But you want your family to enjoy it too.

You just have to balance that out in your own mind. ....which, of course, is not an answer. Maddening, I know.

Are they understanding your vision and rejecting it? Or are they not seeing it in their mind's eye and rejecting what they think it will be? Have you shown them the pictures that sold you on the idea?

I had one of those esoteric visions in my head for my kitchen. It's small and narrow and I wanted two different colors -- one on one side and one on the other. And I wanted a different color for the breakfast area and pantry.

Every single person to whom I described it said, "Isn't 3 colors too much?". Without exception. The cabinet maker had to do 5 sets of drawings to get it all right and then still was only willing to do one color and door option at a time. My GC confessed to me when it was all over that he thought I was nuts and creating a disaster until he saw it come together. Now that it's done, everyone really likes it. My family is crazy about it. They just couldn't see it when I described it.

OTOH, even though my husband was supportive all along and said it was my choice, if it hadn't worked, I would have been miserable knowing I was the only one who wanted it that way.

Take pictures of your layout and use tracing paper to draw your modifications. Go get several large-size copies made. Color them in so everyone has a clear idea what you're talking about, what they want, what compromises are possible.

It just comes down to the painful process of decisions and consequence. The more concrete you can make abstract ideas now, the more the consequences will be wonderful and comfortable for all.

Good luck!

Thanks for all the great comments and suggestions. The cabinets have arrived and they are gorgeous!! Even my husband daughter love them now, and appreciate my choices. The cabinet hardware I chose is a little contemporary, so that reduces the "old fashioned" look that my daughter was concerned about. I have showed my DH the pictures that mustbnuts posted and he is very optimistic that we will find a granite that he loves.

Bronwynsmom, thanks for the advise from a design standpoint. I never considered they "whys" behind my choices but now understand why I am leaning away from dark countertops. I have looked at dozens and dozens of pictures of kitchens that are somewhat similar to mine and now realize that the ones with light floors and dark tops do appear a little unbalanced. Very interesting!!

The vision I have for the backsplash is something simple and mat finished, maybe a tumbled subway tile in a neutral shade that compliments the granite. I want the cabinetry and countertops to be the star, and the flooring and backsplash to just compliment the other more important elements. After the granite is in, I will take a lot of time deciding on just the perfect back splash.

I say bite your tongue and just do whatever your husband wants. Husbands generally know what's best.

Hmmmm....let me guess....you're a husband, right?? LOL!

Just don't tell my wife I said that. Anonymity gives me lots of false bravado. :)

oops....sorry, I already called her. She said to tell you that you are in big trouble. Your pillow and blanket are waiting for you on the sofa. lol!

Do I listen to everyone else....or follow my heart?

Seriously...?