I am so sorry! Your builder sounds a lot like my contractor and several of our problems are similar. I won't hijack your post but the questions/issues are the same: NOT what we communicated, him doing what he wanted rather than what we wanted, outlets in plain site in glass doors. I don't mean to scare you, but ours started that badly, as well, and then continued that way. We terminated the relationship, paid him most of what he should have gotten for a job done well (but that wasn't) and still have issues left for us to deal with it. The combination of his poor listening skills, and stubbornness/arrogance in making decision without our input because he believed he knew better than us, was disastrous. I would have a big sit down, let him know your confidence in him is not very high right now and ask him what he is going to do to make it right. I'd start with asking for your 36" base and solid wood doors for your hutch. Good Luck and hang in there!

Sounds very familiar. And we handle it the same way - toss it to the husband. I did deal with the problems of our cabinets, molding, floors, lighting until they kept me up at night and I felt like crying. There was only one time I handed it over to my husband to deal with and that was over the floors. (We had actually warned our GC that if DH called, e-mailed or took a meeting by himself it meant I was too angry to deal with it - and they really didn't want to go there.)

Suggestion - take each problem exactly as you have itemized it and define how it should have been done and let them know in writing or e-mail what you expect. Also discuss with Dh and outline the minimum that you will accept as a solution but don;t let the GC know unless you need to start negotiations of some sort. We (I) held up the job for two weeks over the floors and had them rebuild a 24" cabinet 3 times because they kept screwing it up. One of the times was over 1" sizing - I didn't care - it didn't line up the way I wanted so I told them to fix it. They installed the wrong moldings on the cabinets and tried to convince me to keep them - uh No - not what was ordered.

I sympathize with you and I expect that everyone here will. It's something that most of us have been waiting for and wanting to do for years and we'll only beable to do it once. We've saved for years, worked overtime, done without holidays (in our case) to pay for this. You've spent hundreds of hours doing research, driving to showrooms, googling the internet, finally finding this site (YES!), measuring, envisioning, and becoming so excited about the beauty and function that you are working towards.

Keep that thought in mind and don't let them take that away from you. You and DH know exactly what you want and you guys are a team and don;t let them weaken that connection either.
My mantra became - my money, my reno, my way.
Take tomorrow off, think about what has to be done and hit them with your requirements on Monday morning. You can do this.

I am so sorry. This beats sayde's marble debacle as worst story I've heard. (sorry, sayde) If the cupboards are not as specified in the drawings, then you are right, they are wrong, and you should get what you contracted for.

As to leaving it to your DH, some men are better than some women at confrontation. We're socialized that way. I hate confrontation, and I've been taken advantage of by carpenters and plumbers when I was like, "oh, I guess it's OK." My husband wouldn't have let it go if he were the one who had ordered whatever. So that may be OK. Plus, breaking down crying in front of the, shall we say, "gentleman"- I'd probably do that, too. Better let DH handle it unless you can summon some righteous anger.

Don't pay anyone anything else until it's fixed.

You poor thing! Have a big drink. Bourbon is good.

Thanks guys - I've read plenty of horror stories on here so I was sure people would know where I was coming from! These kitchen projects are a big deal for most people.

Quick question: When you order cabinets, is it normal practice to get some type of list or inventory of exactly what was ordered? How about how much things cost? Before we placed our order, I know the builder told us the cabinet guy would provide us with a complete list of everything ordered. When I asked the builder for this AFTER the order was placed, he looked at me like I had 2 heads. We can't get that! (Thankfully my husband had heard him say it too, but we didn't push the issue.) He provided us with a drawing that he said pretty much had everything on it. (Yea - like my 36" sink cabinet, and no indication of glass doors on my hutch - thank you very much.) So, my question is, SHOULD we have gotten some type of listing of what was ordered? It seems to me at least some of these problems would have been avoided if that were the case.

One more thing I know I should mention: Our builder is the husband of a very good friend of mine. The main reason we hired him was because he was pretty much a one-man show and did really great work - on his own. We really thought he would be dedicated to us and be there doing the work himself. All of a sudden, since we started our job, he's taken on 2 other big jobs and has had to hire some pretty unskilled labor to help him out. He'd made some bad decision already on our project with leaving these guys to do work here. He's spreading himself waaaaaay too thin and is obviously making mistakes. We spoke to him a couple of weeks ago about our expectations when we hired him and how things were turning out. These delivery issues definitely won't helped the situation...

SQ

Quick question: When you order cabinets, is it normal practice to get some type of list or inventory of exactly what was ordered?

We ordered fully custom, made to order cabinets. Everything came as ordered. We also spend about a month going over the drawings with the KD of the company before ordering. we did not have a "list" of items delievered. For example, toe kick strips came as needed because it was specified in the drawing.

When I ordered my cabinets, I got exact dimensions of the cabinets that they were making with the drawings that I HAD to sign off. Meaning that I was liable for some of the measurements. We measured everything and the cabinets came exactly to the measurements signed off.

If the cabinet maker gave you the drawing of what was being ordered, then he has to deliever what was on the drawing, IMHO.

How about how much things cost?

Again, we signed off on the order with the amount agreed upon.

I wish you the best. i am sorry for your trouble.

we hired a friend by the hour to do a few things. (not alot of work, just a few things) bad mistake. will not do that again.

Our custom cabinet maker gave us very detailed drawings with measurements as well. We also have a 3 page quote for the kitchen (and equally long quotes for other rooms) with the base price of cabinets per foot and then a cost breakdown of each and every additional item we added, from mullions to pull-outs to carvings to columns to the paper towel holders.

We've had the same issue with quotes for some of the other things we ordered (non-cabinet maker related). For instance, our flooring, we just have a list of things going into the room with no prices and then just a total at the bottom. It's very frustrating especially since we were very far over on our budget, but we weren't able to tell what things actually cost. I had to repeatedly insist that I wanted the cost per square foot of the wood we were buying, and I still don't have any indication of the cost per square foot of the tile.

You can guess who I am happy with and who I am less happy with.

I would send both your builder and cabinet maker the exact list you made with specifics about exactly what you want to have happen- solid doors being made, a new sink base, etc. I would close the email operating under the assumption that the corrections WILL be made

(i.e. "Please give me a timeline for when this work will be completed as per specifications.") And then don't accept anything less. Any time someone suggests something else, just keep repeating what you want.

$18,000 is a lot of money and this is your kitchen that you worked so hard for and you should get exactly what you paid for and nothing less. This is the thing that drives me crazy when I hear stories like yours- if you went into work, told your boss you expected to be paid some amount but didn't give them any breakdown of why, and then only showed up for work some of the time, sent someone in to do your job for you that wasn't as skilled, did things wrong and told your boss you expected to be paid the full amount you decided on, how long do you think you would have a job for? So why do some people in the building trade do this and get away with it?

Susie-I don't have a lot to add except I'm very sorry for what you are going through and how frustrated you must feel. We too ordered cabinets that were semi-custom and there was a list of each and everything we needed, along with the diagrams/drawings of the cabinets and layout, and the list was itemized with the price for everything.

I think b1fenton's advice is right on-your "rant" above is very well organized and is exactly what should be discussed.

Good luck-it WILL be okay.

I think I better just stay out of the kitchen and away from the cabinets. I just discovered that the cabinet above the refrigerator is 24" deep. The pantry - right next to it - is 30" deep and TOTALLY unfinished on the side next to the refrigerator. The refrigerator cabinet was supposed to be 30" deep...that's how it shows in all the drawings. It lines up exactly with the front of the pantry.

A standard refrigerator is about 30" deep right? I have to admit that on that wall (which just has the pantry and the refrigerator) we never talked cabinet dimensions because it was pretty much a defined space - a wall on each side. So it was a 36" wide refrigerator next to a 27" wide pantry. Again, the drawings showed everything as the same depth - a built-in look. These were the drawings from the cabinet maker. That was what was discussed during the ordering process. On the drawing that he gave us after the order was placed, it does appear that the refrigerator cabinet has a code indicating that it is 24", not 30". I think I barely looked at those numbers because the builder had made it sound as thought there was really no other possibilities there. Obviously he didn't look at the picture of what was ordered either.
He must have assumed that it was 30" deep since that was ALL we discussed with the cabinet maker.

The fact that the side of the pantry is not finished sort of speaks to the fact that something should be right next to it right? None of it should be showing right? Well, the way it is now I have the lovely 24" cabinet above my refrigerator which will end 6" before the pantry ends. The above-refrigerator cabinet isn't supposed to be installed 6" from the back wall, is it?

Again, having the job being done by a friend is just making this all so much worse.

SQ

Thanks leela - this is really what I think I should have insisted on:

"We too ordered cabinets that were semi-custom and there was a list of each and everything we needed, along with the diagrams/drawings of the cabinets and layout, and the list was itemized with the price for everything."

I think I'm really beating myself up right now because I feel like I could have avoided this if I just wasn't so darn concerned with coming off as a...you know, that "B" word. And then I get mad at my husband because his style is to get all buddy-buddy with everyone (the builder, the cabinet guy, the workers at the house) which is fine; he's really that kind of guy. But he gets so "friendly" with them I feel like they actually sort of take advantage. Again, the builder is MY friend's husband. My husband didn't really know him at all. Well, they've become quite friendly over the process and I feel that because my husband is so nice and so easygoing, we're now getting put on the back burner. I feel like the builder knows my husband won't give him a hard time! And then when we sat with the cabinet maker, I distinctly felt like it was the "3 guys" and then me!!! I'm not trying to dis my husband, I just feel like the situation was made worse by my particular personality type and his particular personality type. (I feel like I'm having a little GW self-therapy here!!!)

I do truly appreciate everyone's advice and kind words. The cabinets were just delivered yesterday, so hopefully a good night's sleep will have me feeling a little better in the morning.

SQ

Standard refrigerator cabinets are 24" deep but are often pulled forward. Maybe this is what is going to be done with yours? What is on the other side of the fridge cabinet from the pantry?

Oh Susie, I'm so sorry for your aggravation. I can't say it any better than blfenton already did....you've sacrificed and planned and spent your hard-earned money, and you deserve what you ordered and paid for. If you paid for a Porsche, you deserve a Porsche, not a Yugo! (Do they even make those anymore?) Stick to your guns and when you have to talk to them, keep the godfather's motto in mind: It's not personal, it's just business. Be firm and get what you want, because you're paying quite a lot for it!

I read your OP, but did read all the replies... but I think this paragraph from blfenton is perfect:

Suggestion - take each problem exactly as you have itemized it and define how it should have been done and let them know in writing or e-mail what you expect. Also discuss with Dh and outline the minimum that you will accept as a solution but don;t let the GC know unless you need to start negotiations of some sort. We (I) held up the job for two weeks over the floors and had them rebuild a 24" cabinet 3 times because they kept screwing it up. One of the times was over 1" sizing - I didn't care - it didn't line up the way I wanted so I told them to fix it. They installed the wrong moldings on the cabinets and tried to convince me to keep them - uh No - not what was ordered.

SQ, I'm so sorry to hear of the troubles. It will all look more manageable in the morning, I promise.

Do you have a digital camera? It might be quite helpful -- and therapeutic -- to take some initial snapshots of the problem areas. You can then use photoshop or a similar program to circle the issues and/or sketch in the outlines of what should be there according to the contract drawings.

Some of the issues sound like they might be installation issues and thus fairly easily corrected -- often folks do order 24" cabs for over the fridge and just pull them out when they're installed, since many people can't reach to use that depth of space anyways and it's cheaper. That could be an installer miscommunication. But of course if the drawing specifies 30", they need to take this one out and put in the right sized cabinet.

I agree that the best way to approach the friend/builder/disappointment issue is simply to itemize the issues -- here's where the pictures might help? you could even email them in advance of the meeting -- and calmly ask him what kind of correction schedule he'd like to set up.

You can't lower your standards just because you know the guy, of course. That would make you a patsy, with is not a much better term than the b-- word we all dread, right? And it's certainly not being a b-- to expect that a job be done as agreed upon. Chin high! You can do this!

Sleep well -- it will all work out, it's just a blow at first because of course you were expecting to be further along by now, sans complications. Courage!

OK - maybe the refrigerator thing isn't an issue. As long as the above the refrigerator cabinet can be installed so that it lines up with the front of the pantry. There is a wall on the other side of the refrigerator. In other words, the refrigerator and its cabinet are between a large pantry and a full wall. Believe me, I'm not looking for problems here. If this isn't a real problem, I'm happy to take it off my list!! I can look at it as some good news, right?

SQ

Susie, I'm so sorry! I haven't gone through reno yet so I'm definitely an armchair quarterback here, but--absolutely--stick to your guns and make them make it right!! Either your GC or cab guy screwed up (maybe both), and it is on their heads to make it right.

I've never been great at confrontation, but I guess there sometimes are advantages to getting older (and maybe wiser) because I'm much better now at standing up for myself than I used to be. You and DH must present a united front on all of your grievances. blfenton gave you very good advice. Sit down tomorrow with DH and make a list of everything that is wrong and what you expect them to do on each. Decide if you're willing to negotiate on any of them and what you'll "settle for" on each of those. Good luck and I hope you'll let us know what happens. We're all pulling for you! Stay strong!!

Yes, you should have received an itemized list after the order was placed, so that you could inspect it. I am sorry that you are having a sad time of this. :o(
Assume that everyone you work with is an absolute moron, and double-check their work. Sometimes you will be pleasantly surprised when they do something correctly, but you'll never be caught off guard when they mess up.
Channel your inner Queen Latifah and go kick some booty.

Susie, I, too, am sorry for all you are going through. It definitely sounds like things were not delivered as shown in your drawings. And hopefully you will be able to get them corrected. Don't just let it ride because it will always bother your.

I did not have an itemized list showing each cabinet and the cost of each (wish I had), etc., but the drawings did show the dimensions of each cabinet and how the kitchen was to be laid out. I also had a contract that spelled out most of the detail (though just gave me a total price rather than the price for each sub-category), which was a godsend when the cabinets were delivered without plywood boxes (something I had specified over and over with the KD, and was spelled out in the contract). I have serious problems with particle board and MDF (probably because of the formaldehyde which the government has now come out saying can cause cancer) and did not want them in my cabinets. I stopped the installation and made them re-order the cabinet boxes. My DH would probably have accepted them as they originally came, just to get done, but I could not do so. I do not like confrontation anymore than DH does, but I am glad I stuck to my guns. In the end I think DH was glad I insisted upon what was in the contract, but I think he would have just let it go if I had not confronted the GC about it myself.

Be strong! You have a right to insist upon what was agreed upon--especially the 36" sink cabinet.

Oh Suzie...I'm sorry your kitchen cabinets are not at all what you were expecting and with the problems you have described. But stick to your guns, since you didn't get an itemized list, your cabinets should look exactly like the drawings you were given and agreed upon.

This is what I would do..I believe I would first speak my mind with the builder/general contractor who is the husband of your friend (or have your husband do it, with you in attendance). You chose him afterall because you trusted that friendship and believed he would provide for your best interests. The cabinet guy was choosen based on his referral, so he should have a vested interest here. Once your expectations are documented and discussed with the G/C, a meeting should be arranged with everyone in attendance. Hold the G/C and cabinet-maker accountable to you and your husband. I know I fight with my husband when problems arise, (I blame him and he blames me) but we do present a united front once the time comes to speak up. He lays out the situation based on my worries (man to man), but he does this (and I'm there in case he forgets something)..As it was said so well...it's your kitchen and your money...and you want what you want!! It'll be ok, just hang in there.(harrumph)

((((hugs)))) And sympathy.

Nothing to add to the wise words above. Except to note that bringing in dh is a tried and true, really quite honorable plan, IMHO. It's called a "one-two" I believe. And it's a good way to deal with problems. Just spelling the other for the aggravation. It's one of the "options" you have available to you for picking up right now.

I really think you are squarely in the right. So it means you don't have to be defensive or weepy or yell-y or anything except clear, polite and firm. Do it as we agreed please.

Good luck! Hang in there...

I have to disagree about bringing in "nice guy" dh unless he is willing to show some clear dissatisfaction with what has transpired. Otherwise, it could backfire with him using you as bad cop and the guys all downplaying your concerns.
As tempting as it can be to have him step in, if it is not in his nature to be firm, it won't work and they'll smell it.
I'd write out every grievance, as you did in your posts above and make a list with a copy for everyone.
Simply state that what was delivered is "not acceptable" and that you fully expect it to be fixed and treated as their highest priority. You have waited a needless 4 weeks already and so they owe you. Practice saying the word "NO" with some emphasis.
You need to tell the builder guy that he needs to do his job and stand up for you as clients. He recommended the cab guy and is getting a piece of the action. Let him earn it. Say that just as I wrote it too. No need to pussyfoot about it. His job is to make you happy. You have reasonable expectations and are paying for them.

I think you need to get yourself good and angry and not show disappointment (because you will not accept being disappointed). You will not pay until it is all rectified. Not one dime. If they don't do right because it is the moral thing to do, give them some incentive. Be a full blown B word and stand tall. If not being taken advantage of earns you that title, then own it. I'd much rather be a B with a nice kitchen than a sucker.

Drag. Agree with others about the 24" over the fridge cab being pulled forward (very common). No great suggestions just hang-in there.

Dianalo: funny image, their smelling capitulation.

I want to frame Dianalo in one corner and Marcolo in another. Between those two lo's is a lot of spine-straightening straight talking.

SQ: Dianolo may be right if that's dh's MO, to run away from your fury and side with the Guy. Funnily enough, in our household I think both of us, when the other is upset, overcompensate for them and insist on more nitpicky stuff than we would otherwise. I'd never quite realized this before -- wonder what's up with that? It's not as if either of us capitulates to *each other*? Case in point: counterguys installed undermount sink with seam in middle; slabs weren't same thickness. Slabs are highly veined. Counterguys filled in 1/2"+ difference with epoxy of dark color as the stone's main color. DH noted how great it would be if you could paint some red down the dark epoxy to carry forward some veining. So ... I requested it. Those guys looked at me like I was *crazy* and I would never have requested it myself. But somewhere inside me I'm quivering over dh's issues, way more than mine. Go figure.

So YMMV. Allow me to amend my advice above: finding another "two" somewhere, anywhere - in the form of the GC, or, say, your friend the GC's wife's friend (is that right?), or dh - just anyone else who isn't you ... that could be a good way to approach the situation. Depends on the personalities all around, but I wouldn't dismiss it as "immature" off the bat; it could be very productive.

Especially if you write the script, just like Dianolo says. you could even just print this out... ;)

BUYER BEWARE. Just because a contractor is a friend or a friend of a friend, does not mean they do good work. Sorry for the troubles you have experienced, especially since you slaved and saved for all these years. My husband and I are finally doing our kitchen after 17 years and it's kind of scary: the money, time, mess, and decisions over every little thing. We have done exhaustive research, called people we didn't know to go and look at the GCs work etc. before we signed on the dotted line. I am a stickler for minutia so I'm sure I have driven him crazy with details etc, but I don't want ANY SURPRISES. I do, however, think you need to be happy, but you also (admittedly) made a few mistakes as well. Hopefully you can resolve this to your liking. IMHO, sometimes semi-custom proves more difficult in the long run.....

Dianalo has an excellent point.

I just re-read Dianalo's response, and it is an excellent point. I do worry about how the hubby will really handle it.

Want to know what I think the funny part is? My husband is a cop, and he really knows how to be tough, and stern and firm. I saw him on a traffic stop once, and I later told him how "scary" his cop voice sounded!! When he needs to be (like when walking up to a car and not knowing for sure if the driver is a sweet little old lady or a crazy person with a weapon on their lap) he can be very firm. Sometimes I think that's why he tends to be such a "nice guy" in other parts of his life. However, we've certainly had lots of instances in our personal life when he needed to step-up and he is more than capable. You don't raise a 21-year old daughter and a 20-year old son these days by being a push-over! I know in a crunch, he's my go-to-guy.

I guess the problem is that I'm really not sure where this situation falls on the scale. Not to get in to too much psycho-babble, but I think we're BOTH feeling that we've made mistakes in this process, and we BOTH are not reacting in the best way. Honestly, I really do think he can handle with with the builder. Considering he's the one who has been working the ridiculous amounts of over-time to help pay for this, he is pretty ticked-off at how things have been turning out. He is exceptionally angry at the cabinet builder, who I do think has been the most difficult party in this process. I know that our builder is definitely more "responsible" for the entire process, and I think he (the builder) knows it too, and he really doesn't want to have us (especially my husband) angry at him.

I do feel a little better today. My cabinets themselves are beautiful. I think the layout I ultimately decided on will be lovely. I can't stop looking at my Blanco sink and my magnificent ORB faucet! I think that I can be happy if either 1) things are changed so they are exactly as I wanted them (that should be easy with the solid cabinet doors, not so much with the sink base), OR 2) I get some type of financial "credit" to make me feel better. There are quite a few extras that we've added on the job (french doors to the dining room, painting and chair rail in the dining room) that haven't been paid for yet, so I think I'd be happy if I get some sort of financial consideration along the way.

Thanks again for all your support and advice. Reading and writing here really truly does help. SQ

I often wonder when a guy orders the car of his dreams and it is delivered with wheels 3" smaller, or the color of red is now pink, or if he specifically wanted a certain pin stripe but the manufacture thought it would look better and changed the design, would the guy just suck it up or make them change it? This is your and DH's dream, I hope it has a happy ending.

You are so right natesgram. I've learned to live with my hubby's "passive aggressive" traits a long long time ago. Gotta take the good with the bad, right? He spent this entire project telling me "Your opinion is what counts. I don't have strong feelings. Do what you want." Yet, when I leaned towards something he really didn't want, it was very obvious. As I said, I learned to live with this a long time ago. Bottom line is the kitchen is more my dream than his. I'm truly hoping he has my back on this - I think he will - and I too hope it has a happy ending.

SQ

Totally agree with dianalo. If you want this to come out right, you have to take charge of it yourself. You have to be assertive and direct when speaking to the cabinet guy - without the emotional thing we women do that undermines us so much with men (sigh). You are in the right here, and you are not helpless. Don't worry about being seen as a "b". That's just a word some men use when they don't like women pointing out that they f'd up.

So write a list itemizing each thing that is wrong and how you expect it to be corrected. Attach a photocopy of the original design and circle the relevant places on it, putting the item in the circle. Make it impossible for the cabinet builder to deny that he didn't follow the plans.

Then re-read dianalo's message a few times. :-)

Yes, it's all going to take more time to correct, but that's nothing compared to the length of time you'll be using this kitchen. Don't settle - you'll regret it later. I had problems with my contractor, and I had to yell at him and threaten a lawsuit if he didn't re-order the cabinets his carpenter had screwed up. I was a "b" with a capital "B". It took four weeks for the new cabinets to come in. My kitchen is gorgeous now (and all the doors and drawers function properly).

Stand your ground.

Can't say it any better than charlikin did above. Just wanted to send along my "Amen" to her post and my hopes this will end well. Don't cave. Try to keep your energy up and pursue each and every issue.

That is too funny that your dh is a cop yet is not very "tough" at home. I bet he knows how to turn it on when needed. I know my dh has a temper and yet no one outside my family would believe it. He is downright a pushover in most people's eyes. In our case, he gripes about things but lets me be the bad guy publicly. In one instance, he stepped in because it had gotten so far over the line. Briefly, our architect drew up our structure wrong because he put his head into our attic and assumed which way the beams over our bedroom area ran. He was wrong. He had been wrong several times before already and had delayed us for months. When they ripped the roof off, the gc discovered the error and had to work out a new plan with the framers. The inspector approved what they did but said we needed a re-drawing to match what was reality. The architect wanted an additional $1,500 to re-draw the plans and would not put pen to paper until he was paid in full. I told him that was never going to happen because he messed up the first time and he would not be paid in full until it was done properly. We worked out paying him half up front (with me knowing I'd be suing his ass later on). He got to my house with the revisions and met with the gc and me. My dh, who is a teacher, called from school and asked to speak to him. I had no idea what was going to happen as I did not expect him to call. The architect's face kind of went funny while on the phone and he got off and said we did not need to pay the balance. Since I had already basically told him he'd see us in court, so that was not what dh had told him and scared him with. I truly think he threatened him with harm but am not sure. I guess our last name being Italian helped put some fear into this non-Italian, lol.... Until that point, I think the architect and gc thought I was a B and that my dh was such a sweetheart. It goes to show, you never know....

There sounds like a lot of miscommunication here. Did the GC hire the cabinet company, or did you hire them direct? Who did the measuring? Who did the designing? Did everyone get together and step off the design in the actual space before it was ordered? That's all water under the bridge now, but maybe someone else can benefit from your situation.

It sounds as though you have several design errors, and then there are several order entry errors. The wrong sink base could have been a design or order entry error (and it really doesn't matter which to you). If the GC engaged the cabinet maker, then it's up to him to make it right. If you engaged the cabinet maker directly with the contractor just doing the install for you, then you (or hubby) are gonna have to yell at the cabinet maker yourself.

The bar area will definately have to have some space between each of the end cabinets and the wall. Otherwise, your doors and drawers don't have enough clearance. You shouldn't need more than about an inch or an inch and a half. I usually do 1 1/2" on each end because that's a single 3" filler split down the middle and is easier for the installer. But I don't work with cabinets that are able to be customized width the way your line is able to do. For your case, an extended stile of about 1" is enough wiggle room to be trimmed to the wall.

For your hutch area, I have an idea that might be an upgrade for you if you like it. What about using punched tin inserts, to make it look like an old fashioned pie safe. Or you could use some highly patterned opaque glass that you couldn't see through. That way you would be able to go ahead and install those cabinets and not wait on them to be replaced.

Just remember: alcohol for the current stress, steel for the spine in the coming confrontation, and patience for this too to pass. Concentrate on the end result as being your goal, and all of the labor pains will be minimized when it's finally over.

charlikin and sayde - Well, at least today I'm able to talk to my husband about it. That's one step forward...

Yup dianalo - I am the "cop" at home. Go figure.

livewire - thanks for your post. I actually love that idea for the hutch. My appliances are SS and my pendants and faucet are oil rubbed bronze. Any suggestions on what would "go" best with that? I also especially like the first sentence of your last paragraph!

When I'm particularly unhappy I like to disarm them with a few compliments and then with the same smile and affable attitude start talking about the problems. If things deteriorate from there so be it, the more reasonable you are while still not relenting the more control you'll have over the situation. For me, the next step is to corner someone vent my rage about the person I met with then mock and dissect everything they said to me that I didn't react to while I was talking with them. Lesson: you don't have to be a more rational, less emotional person you just have to look like you are in certain situations. Good luck! You seem more than capable of handling this (probably without the vicious verbal tantrum afterwards - once I practically had to run back to the office to let it out I was so furious - good times).

I got more experience dealing with contractors than I wanted when we did some remodeling. I got pretty good at resolving issues, although I was of course never happy about it.

Here's what it boils down to - you are the person with the money. Remain calm and go into all conversations with the expectation that they need to deliver what was promised and nothing else is even a consideration.

If you bought a red washing machine and the store delivered a purple one, would you have any problems telling the delivery guys not to even bother unloading the truck? Same deal here. Just tell the cabinet guy, "You can take back the cabinets that weren't on the plan. How long will it take you to build the cabinets that are missing?"

That's it, that's all you need. I had to have my tile guy rip out a tile mosaic that he installed all uneven and crooked. He said, "A new one will cost $500". And I replied, "Well you can sell the old one to someone else to defray the cost if you like." Their costs/time for screw ups aren't your problem, it's part of their cost of doing business and is their concern, not yours. Your only concern is getting what you paid for.

This is not say that you should never compromise. But only compromise where you think it's reasonable. A 31" cabinet in place of a 36" cabinet is not reasonable.

I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all this. Emotions run high when there's that much money involved.

I can agree that it's probably mostly the cabinet-maker's fault, but your GC is supposed to be the advocate for the homeowner. He's supposed to make sure all the subs show up on time and do the contracted work correctly. In my experience, GCs are supposed to be managers - they're not (usually) the ones swinging the hammer. They need the knowledge of every step of the process, though, to make sure that things are being done the way they're supposed to be done. If your GC is not standing with you on the cabinet issues - which sound to me like they're pretty clearly defined as per your drawings and specs - he's not doing his job as your advocate.

I had a friend who was a cop. When his daughter started dating, he would park his patrol car in the driveway. When the guy arrived, he'd be in the living room cleaning his weapon on the coffee table. "Bring her home by 11pm, ok?" "SIR! YES SIR!! Would 10:30pm bettter, sir?"

Maybe a conversation like that is in order.

Weedmeister...yea, my hubby used to always say that's how he'd handled out daughter's boyfriends. Didn't quite work that way though!!

Well, now that it's been 3 days since our cabinet delivery, things are looking much better. I'm feeling relatively confident that everything will be completed to my satisfaction. Most of the cabinets have been installed; we need to wait for our granite so that the uppers in the breakfast room (they come all the way down to the countertop) can be installed. The cabinets really are beautiful (to me anyways!!) We held back a couple thousand dollars on the cabinets just to keep everyone on track.

SQ

Did they replace the 31" sink base with a 36" base?

Adrienne - Alas, the did NOT replace the sink base. The builder has already got the Blanco "in" the cabinet, and my husband feels that it is fine. Bottom line is, if I want to keep the bump-out (which I sort of do) I need to keep the 31" cabinet. Had this all been explained to me when the order was placed, I would have gone with the 36". However, since this is what I have, and it does appear that the sink is securely in the 31" base, AND I have overnight guests coming in about 2 weeks, I simply can't hold-up everything to get a new 36" base cabinet. I've decided to put a good attitude on it, and go with it the way it is. We actually owe our builder quite a bit of money on this job (there's still quite a bit to do) so we're moving forward. I spoke directly with him yesterday and I feel OK about the situation. (Hope it doesn't sound like I wimped out too much. We truly feel like we are doing what's best.) The builder is very anxious to keep up happy and is offering to do whatever we feel is necessary.

SQ