First let me say it's not the end of the world that you have to rent, and although it's not the home you love, if there's love in the home, you'll learn to love your new home.

Oak is not my favorite either, but it could be trimmed with black and really look smart. If you don't have an island, buy a small one and paint it black, bringing consistency to the room. Could you install knobs on the cabs? Again, I would use black. Black/cream would be wonderful for accessories, and add a bit of red.

Here's an idea I used when I was living in my condo~~I purchased wood decorative wall elements, and used them on the smaller doors above the stove and frig. Most of the craft/home decorating stores will have them in various sizes. I painted my cabs as well as these, but you could paint yours black and affix with double-faced tape or velcro~~same w/mouldings. Can you at least paint the kitchen doors and paint them back to what they were should you move? What color? Black, of course. ;o)

Here is a link that might be useful: wall elements...

Here is a site which has some really great self stick vinyl (like contact paper) with cork, grasscloth, leather, rice paper and other natural looking patterns. Might be worth checking out. Be sure to look a the wood grains, too. There are some white ones that might look great on the doors.

Here is a link that might be useful: cabinet reface

Don't stress about the cabinets. After a while you'll hardly notice them. I have hideous formica butcherblock cabs/counters/backsplash, and at first glance I wasn't even sure I should take the place (I started here as a renter) because I thought it would drive me insane. After a few months you get immune.

I took the clue from olychick~~here's a paintable beadboard. I've ordered it, and it really does look like beadboard, painted or not. ;o)

Here is a link that might be useful: wallpaper

Here's a blog showing installation/outcome of the wallpaper. Looks great and easy enough to use. ;o)

Here is a link that might be useful: wallpaper

I've rented most of my adult life--I move too often to make buying a reasonable choice.

Yes, I've had some horrendous kitchens and bathrooms. Truthfully, I find that in a few months, I grow accustomed to the weird dark Mediterranean look cabinets or the 60s pale aqua and cream floor tiles or the lack of a bathtub or whatever. It's much, much worse when something doesn't work right, rather than something just doesn't look good. You can deal with not looking good, but inadequate storage or leaky pipes or having to step out of the kitchen to open the oven door--well, there's limits as to how long a person can deal with that sort of thing. For kitchens and bathrooms, I have to force myself to look for functionality over looks. I can deal with ugly. I can't deal with inefficient.

One of the things about renting is that you and any visitors know that the permanent fixtures in the apartment or townhouse are not your choice. The challenge comes in making your style work with what you've got.

You can paint. Seriously, that's a huge plus. Most places, you can't paint at all. Or maybe if you paint it back to the original color before you move (like you really want to have to paint everything when you're packing and moving). I've looked at apartments where they didn't allow tenants to put up window treatments at all--the cheapo vinyl mini-blinds that were there were all the window treatment the tenant was going to get.

If the oak trim is just trim, frankly, I'd ignore its presence and go with the color scheme you like. You'd be surprised at how neutral oak can be, when you aren't focusing on it. Your other option is to change everything to incorporate the oak, and in my experience, that ends up with a room that you can't stand, because it's all based on something you don't like.

There are many more removable options out there now--removable wallpaper, for one. I just read something about someone covering up really awful kitchen cabinet doors with fabric, tightly wrapped around the door and stapled on the inside of the door. That and a change of hardware might make the kitchen a bit more to your liking.

I would urge you to check out the Apartment Therapy website. The site is geared toward a mid-century modern look, but if you can ignore all those posts, there is a wealth of information on how to adapt a rental to your own style, how to squeeze in more storage, multi-purpose furniture and how to deal with features that you can't stand. There's also a book, the Apartment Therapy Eight Week Home Cure, that might prove helpful to you. (There are three Apartment Therapy books, two are full of pretty pictures of real homes, but the one you want has line diagrams and a lot of text.)

If there's a problem spot in your new home that you just can't work out, you can even email to Apartment Therapy with pictures and they'll put your question up on-line and you will get tons of ideas from the readers on how to fix things.

You could have my current kitchen, which I just moved into. There's the old chimney covered in fake brick, painted white. The original 1900's cabinets, with 1980's melamine doors attached to the old cabinet frames (okay, at least its all white). White fridge. Black stove. Tiny double sink that you can't fit a cookie sheet into. A tiny cabinet with fixed shelves that are exactly 7 inches apart--have no idea what I'm going to use that for, but I need to figure it out, because I need all the storage space I can get. I've peeled three layers of contact paper off some of the shelves--never before have I seen contact paper so old it's gone brittle. And I had to ask my sister's boyfriend for help in leveling the fridge--the floors slope because it's an old house and the new fridge was moving across the floor and the doors were swinging open if I just walked by it.

And it's one of the nicer kitchens I've had as a renter! Stay cool. Stay calm. You can deal with the oak. If you try to do something with the cabinet doors, the flatness may work to your advantage. It won't end up being the look you would have chosen if you could have chosen anything in the world, but you'll end up, at some point, with something you can live with.

Here is a link that might be useful: Apartment Therapy

I agree with Camlan, that the flat panel cabinets make it easier to camouflage them with removable materials. Could turn out to be very creative and interesting solution. Be very careful about adhesives tho'.(I've peeled off drywall when removing items that supposedly will do no damage.)

You might also try removing some or all of upper cabinet doors, and using removable wallpaper on insides of cabinets. Or if you have only a few upper cabinets, you could perhaps buy replacement doors with glass and attach to existing frame. Never fun to spend money in rental, but if it really matters, and it's not too much money...

Can you post some photos? That always makes a huge difference in responses. Plus there are multiple oak tones, so it would be helpful to see your particular cabinets.

Is it a rental? Or have you bought the townhouse?
Are these rules of the development, or your particular owner? How much did you want to do?

Here is an oak slab cabinet kitchen with bar pulls, a nice granite counter
(could you do a new countertop?) and some glass doors.

I think the counter makes the kitchen.

Now this is a bit grand, but it is a medium stained cabinet like oak and the design of the room is French country.

HTH!

Wow, I'm so thankful for the responses!

I know I'm being a bit of a baby about all of this. Decorating is my passion and I work at home, so I'm here ALL the time. A couple houses ago I didn't like, well, anything. I found the longer I lived there, the more cold it felt and the more depressed my mood became. I finally accepted the fact it's where I lived, totally redecorated, and then felt so much better. It's amazing how our surroundings can influence mood.

But you're right; there will be more love in that little townhouse than there ever was in my current house, which, ironically, is what I've dreamed of owning for 20 years.

I am going to try to get over there tomorrow and take some pix and measurements. Unfortunately I won't be able to accurately photograph the cabinets as the previous tenant painted them white and the "repair" hasn't been completed yet. They are now saying 3 to 4 weeks before it's ready for me to close on and get my key. I wish they'd skip that "repair" and leave them white. I begged, but rules are rules and I couldn't get him to budge. Still, I will get photos as best I can.

It's neither traditional renting or buying. It's a co-op, something I'd never heard of before. Basically you "buy in" and own a share of equity in the co-op. While you live there you pay a monthly carrying charge, similar to rent in many ways, but different in the fact that it's way cheaper and a portion of it is deductible from your taxes as mortgage interest.

When you move, you have two choices. You can sell your equity back to the co-op for about what you paid to get in (I say about because they deduct for repairs they have to make and then add on for any appreciation of property values (ha ha, that's not a likely thing in this housing climate) OR you can find your own buyer. They would need to join the co-op like everyone else, but instead of buying in on a unit the general fund owned, they would get yours. You can usually make a profit going this route as you can advertise and sell for what you want, well, what you can get, thus possibly recouping a portion of your improvements and decorating.

On the other hand, it is like renting in the fact you don't actually own your unit, but rather a share of the the co-op itself. Also, they are responsible for the traditional things an apartment would be - the plumbing and electrical repairs, replacing furnace, ac, disposal, toilets, etc as need be, plus exterior care including mowing, roofing, etc. The rules are much more lenient than renting since you can paint/wallpaper (with restrictions), finish your basement, carpet, etc. You can also have a flower bed out front, subject to size and placement restrictions, as well as a deck and flowers out back. If you are careful, other tenants have told me, you can get away with a small veg garden too, just need to disguise it as a back flower bed lol. Pretty much anything that isn't permanent or doesn't change the woodwork in any way.

I'm very excited to go back and study your links and photos. I will try to get over there in the next couple of days and get some pix to post back here.

Your new place sounds perfect for a mother with a couple of young children. It sounds, though, you're having difficulty seeing the forest for the (plastic oak) trees.

There was a recent thread here about things posters did not like about their houses. Everyone has complaints. If your color scheme doesn't work with your new place, change your color scheme. Sell your furniture if it doesn't work and haunt craigslist and consignment shops until you find what does work. There have been some beautiful rooms posted here in the past furnished entirely with used or vintage items. Take complete photos of your room to post here, then, as you find a potential candidate for furniture, etc, post here and get honest feedback. This place is great to help keep you on task and prevent you from making expensive mistakes - like a pricey decorator at no cost!

Sounds like you're happy with your life right now. Embrace the new challenge.

Dee

I'd do less and spend more time with your family adjusting. I think I am reading between the lines and see a new direction for your family from what you say. I'd worry more about settling in and setting up house than redecorating.
I'd unpack what you have and see how it looks. It may look nicer when it isn't empty and after it is repaired.
Your co-op sounds more restrictive than most, but even though, technically, you don't own your unit, most people live as if they do. I don't know anywhere else where a co-op owner is restricted from adding molding or modifying the kitchen unless it involved moving plumbing or electric to a large extent. I'd make sure you read all the rules and talk to other owners to find out the real lay of the land. It may say something in the rules that is not a worry in common practice.

I am renting first time in my life and design and decorating is my passion. My environment is very important for me. What I have found works, and was suggested and worked when we moved outside the country as well, is the artwork, photos, nick/nacks, what ever makes house a home, will surround you.
When I moved back to US, I sold all the furniture but did ship back all the art I loved. Now in the new place, this same art is surrounding me and makes the new place much more homey than it would be otherwise. Although this rental is far cry from my previous place in the states, everyone who has come to visit me in the new place, has complimented how nice it all looks.
So keep what you love, use the beloved accessories and furniture, it will make all the difference.

Same here -- I've never heard of such a restrictive co-operative building before. Usually anything inside is your domain.

Well, I just got back from my measuring/picture taking adventure and let me tell you, it did not go as planned. First, nothing is the way I remember it, in both good ways and bad. Overall, I think the good is more though.

Also, I screwed up and took my three year old. I spent more time chasing her than doing what I needed, thus I'm missing a couple important measurements and didn't get as many pix as I wanted. Oh well, I guess I should have thought it through better.

First, the countertops are actually NICE, not just tolerable, but nice. Yay!! The are laminate of course, but are a mottled granite look in shades of tans and medium browns.

Second, the vinyl on the kitchen floor, while still cheap vinyl, is actually very neutral and complements the counters. I can definitely live with it.

The bummer about the kitchen is it's much smaller than I remembered. Seating will be a challenge, especially if I want to add a dishwasher (yes, please!), but I'm sure if I think it through it can be worked out. I'm not a fan of eating in other rooms or in front of the t.v., family dinners should be around a table IMO.

Going to go play with the photos I took and will post them shortly.

I have to agree with the others--I've never heard of a coop that cared what you do as long as you don't move plumbing or walls or need more electric than was already there, except for things visible from outside, like window treatments. I'd double check on this if I were you, as they suggested.

Can you darken the stain on the cabinets/trim? going really dark such as espresso as it removes a lot of the grain. I feel the same about oak as you do (no offense to others who like it either).

I'm not sure if that is ok or not to do. Also do you have the rules in some written form where you can check that you truly can't paint the trim/cabinets. Could be that whomever is doing the work is just saying this because they happen to like the cabinets etc. as they are, but is there something written saying the same thing?

Beth0301, you will create a beautiful home, but I am sorry that it's not an exciting move for you. To help with inspiration, this is my feel-good always quality design source:

I started a natural canvas gold search for you but filter the pics however you like and see the possibilities for your new space.

Here is a link that might be useful: Natural canvas gold inspiration

Beth, don't worry about being in an apt. I'm a designer & I've owned only 1 house in my life!!! I too have moved so often (30 times) for work (mostly) that I've never had the need. Now that I'm 57 & semi-retired, that's going to change soon, but to be in an apt has MANY advantages. It also has it's cons, but I've never had a real complaint. I've broken a few rules over the years & lost deposits as a result, but it was a small price to pay for painting & upgrading some minor things, which I never asked reimbursement for. In one apt I painted & was supposed to paint back to white when I moved & also painted the cabinets gloss black (they were like yours) & when they inspected it, they told me not to bother to paint it to white cause they felt it looked better like it was...& didn't lose my deposit!!! I don't recommend that, but really, there's only so much they can do to you if you do. However, one thing I strongly recommend that you do is take very detailed pics of every room before you move in with some kind of date authorization.

It is true that you will become immune to the negatives once you have all YOUR stuff in place instead of seeing a cold stark empty apt. It's amazing how much it will transform.

If your new home is safe & filled with love, what else could you ask for!!!

Best of luck & keep us updated!!!

~Jeana

You guys are all right; I need to focus on all the positives, not the negatives. I just needed some time to get past some of it. I've decorated this baby in my head now from top to bottom. I can't wait to get in there and get to work!!

I had a blog about my current house, an 1880 Victorian that we restored. I've hidden it away for now. I never really got much posted and now don't feel like it, but I did start a new one for my new adventure.

http://timetostartoveragain.blogspot.com/

Thanks everyone.

Here is a link that might be useful: New Blog

Best of luck and remember...we are all here to help you!

Thank you! I'm sure I'll be asking opinions as I go!

I get the key in just over 2 weeks now .... started to get super excited.