Who hasn't! lol

In every one of our builds, we have had problems with our builders. One builder even took my drafted plans (I designed the house) and built it for another couple across town. We started to go to court about it, but it wasn't going to be worth the battle. The shining light was that "their" house didn't look nearly as pretty as ours.

Yes, you will eventually get all the kinks worked out and claim the house as yours. :) Enjoy!

I went through something similar in 2001; we moved in and still had a few problems to deal with; DH was not enjoying the house at all and kept saying:
"once everything is perfect, I'll enjoy it and be happy". One day, I snapped and said: "I want to be happy NOW, TODAY" and I started changing my mindframe to not panic everytime something broken or malfunctioning was discovered, everything can be fixed. It took me almost a year to tweak the house and resume normal living, to the point where the bad memories were faint.

I made a rule that problems related to the house would not be discussed after 5 p.m., DH had a habit of bringing up negative things at random moments of the evening, and that would pull me out of my relaxed state and set me on edge.

There is a sort of burnout at the end of a build, so much of our energy is concentrated on the project, you forget yourself in the process.
Time and also a sense of humor can help you through this.
We sold this house recently and I definitely will never build again, it's too hard.

amysrq, I'm so sorry to hear you had a difficult build. Building is stressful and energy draining, even in the best of circumstances. I think that if you like the home you have built in general, once you get in and "make it yours", you will feel much better. Claiming the house as your own from the builder is a great feeling. For us, it took a while to feel like ours. We had the builders locks on for a couple of days (I was scared to take a bath) and we still have a punch list to be taken care of almost two months later. But everyday, the actual house feels more comfortable as it moves from "bare" to having our stuff gravitate to its natural home in the new house. I hope you feel the same way once you are in! Good luck! j.

Sometimes when I read entries in THS, it brings me back to how demeaned I felt in my dealings with our builder and to the disagreements we had, during which I ultimately caved in to his solutions. It makes me angry all over again. However, most of the time, I just think about how much I love my house, how much magic it holds for my family and guests, and how delighted I am with it. DH repeats that quotation, "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good," when I start obsessing. I do not think any building project is ever absolutely perfect. As the above poster said, "once you make the home yours," the unpleasantness and imperfections will fade fom your consciousness.

I hear ya. I know our situation wasn't as bad as some but it still wasn't fun.

We complained and complained and complained about the issues. Some were taken care of, some weren't. DH was fed up with fighting long before I was. Once we moved our stuff in , the items no longer seemed huge. Most were things only we would know/notice. We didn't take anything to the point of legal action. I just don't have the money, time, or energy to deal with it. It's cheaper for us to pay to fix our carpet and drywall. I can only deal with people "fixing" the same item so many times before it's enough! We're totally burnt out on talking about it.

Keep your head up. It will get better!

p.s. don't use Shaw installers. i'm also boycotting their carpet just because they're jerks. :)

Well, I had to sleep with my builder...

Ok...It was my husband. Seven years later, we are still re-doing and fixing things. We did have issues with subs though! Our landscaper left halfway in the middle of the job. Thanksfully, he was not paid fully. Everyone that builds (or has a house built) has issues with things not being perfect. Once you get in, you'll forget about some of those things or they won't seem quite to important. Also, remember that YOU notice imperfections that no one else will notice because it's YOUR house! And hopefully, your builder will be one of the ones that actually comes back to fix things if he says he will! Best of luck and don't sweat the small stuff!

I would not want to be a builder. What a headache he has, because most of the issues are because of the subs.

At one house closing, we left some money out until the jobs were finished. At another, we had the builder sign the punch list and an accompanying letter stating that all work would be finished (our "punch list" was three pages long when we closed.) This was done in front of witnesses and our lawyer.

I know our builder (for our current home) is about to strangle us, and he is not happy with the subs that we have been having trouble with. We have been working on four major problems for two years. Three are seasonal issues.

Even with the problems, we have made the house our home.

Not only did we have a difficult time with the builder (he was a nice guy, just didn't know what he was doing), I hired my own tile installer and floor installer, we had loose tile a year after install (and new spots are appearing now, 4 mos after having 60 sf fixed). It seems like no one can do good work these days (not to mention contractors who never call you back - I thought the economy was bad and people needed the work?). I've spent more on fixing cracks and repainting the downstairs than I did on original paint job for the whole house.

We're not done fixing everything the builder did wrong, but since he's out of business, there's no point in calling a lawyer. There are times I hate my house and think it'll never be right, but I know once we finish fixing things and I can start decorating, I'll feel better. We have new family and LR furniture, I'm starting to hang blinds and drapes, it's coming together. You just have to keep the end result in sight.

I see so many familiar "faces" from the building forum! We also had major problems with our build. Our contractor spent 3 out of 7 days in Texas (we're in CA) trying to save his marriage (he didn't). So basically we got 4 days a week if lucky. He was a wonderful builder but a terrible businessman and went over budget. We fired him, then he quit, then the bank said work it out b/c going with another contractor would be near impossible. So we paid almost 30% over our estimate. Then after we were roughed-in on electric, plumbing and HVAC we found out our architect used the wrong elevation and didn't use "snow load" trusses. That cost tens of thousands of dollars extra (architect is reimbursing that). But it also caused a 3 month work stoppage while we researched retrofitting in hopes of not having to tear the house down and rebuild again (we would have just walked away if that happened). From that, HVAC was the only rough-in that had to be redone (causing an ugly return register monstrosity over my fireplace).

We moved into our home in August of 2007. Although it took over 3 years to build- it still took a while for me to believe it was mine and not some wonderful vacation that was going to end come each Monday morning. Yes we had punch problems....still do....but I LOVE my home, the area and especially my neighborhood. So hang in there, it's worth it.

We have been in our home 11 years this Friday. We made the mistake of hiring a friend as our contractor. He was first a plumber, then expanded, got his contractor's license, etc. Did a good job, quality work. But, I should have listened to my dad when he warned us about hiring a friend. We had to fire him about 75% of the way through. He was way over budget and it didn't seem to bother him - after all, it wasn't his money. We were pretty lucky with the sub contractors other than going through two brick masons, then having to hire a third one to come back and do little items like steps, etc. Also a vinyl guy who did he screened porch area.

We worked with our builder on the subcontractors. Some where people he had worked with, others we chose. Once we fired our friend (of course that friendship has ended!), we of course had to deal with the subcontractors completely on our own. I did much of that as my husband couldn't devote as much time. It actually wasn't bad and if we ever (although I don't see it happening!) build again, I think we would strongly consider contracting the work out ourselves. At least now I have a pretty good list of who to use!

We had little things here and there. Nothing major and I can't think of anything that wasn't taken care of pretty quickly. I cannot imagine dealing with major problems for two years (as someone mentioned)!! That is just completely unacceptable.

I must say as tired and worn down as you get through the process, not to mention stressed, those feelings really didn't carry over once we moved into the house. Although a friendship ended, and that was sad, we knew it was for the best and didn't dwell on that. We just recently learned that an acquaintance who was friendly with our builder experienced some of the same problems when he built his house with our former friend. Pretty much cemented the fact that we knew we were not at fault. We are very happy in our home and love where we are. I hope you will soon feel that way about your new home.

tina

Oh Amy, I feel your pain! I'm so sorry you're going through this, and can tell you that yes, it will pass and you'll get through it, but I do know how beyond maddening it can be to have to do business with an incompetent and/or arrogant builder. I've been there.

The guy that my ex and I hired in '99 to build our home seemed great initially, but as we got further along in the process, he began to show his true colors. His lack of concern over mistakes that were being made in the construction of our home (hello? Our home, so it was of utmost concern to us!) was mind-boggling. When the plumbing contractors set in the wrong fixtures in our master bath, and we noticed it on our daily walk-thru, we were on the phone to the builder immediately. He assured us that the problem would be remedied. On our walk-thru the next evening, those same (wrong!) fixtures had been soldered into place. We were livid, but a call to the builder didn't make us feel any better, as he became angry at us, and accused us of "micro-managing."

It very quickly became one thing after another with this guy. I was so thankful when the entire thing was done, and we were able to move in ... although he hadn't bothered to get a cleaning crew in to make the place ready for us. We ended up having to properly clean the construction dust and dirt from the place before we could fully move in and unpack ... Oh, it was a nightmare.

And after the really crappy way this builder treated us throughout the process, he had the nerve to call us several months after we had moved in, and ask us if his son could come and make a sales presentation to us for some sort of kitchen gadgets that the kid was selling. Uh, that would be a resounding NO. Idiot.

Funny - While this was a number of years ago, and I thought I was completely "over it", I found myself getting a little heated just remembering, and typing it out. Maybe we don't ever really forget, but we definitely do move past it.

(((((Amy)))))

Thanks everyone for your support and hugs. I never would have thought things could get this difficult, frustrating and emotional. It's nice to hear that so many of you have been able to move on and be happy.

Unfortunately, the flaw my builder wants to turn his back on is potentially huge and not resolvable. He has left us with an easement problem that will either never rear its ugly head, or it will, bringing with it a lot of hassles, expenses and possible damage to the house. The house itself has been built well enough, but it sits too close to a drainage pipe.

We have loved the house, the idea of the house and what it means to us in terms of quality of life. But, the negative energy brought to the situation by the battle has left us feeling so negative about the house. We've even considered walking away and losing a substantial deposit -- a heartbreaking and very expensive non-solution.

I try to keep things in perspective, count my blessings, stay spiritual about it all, but then, just when I am ready to throw in the towel and move on, I get so morally outraged about this guy dumping the burden of risk for his mistake on us. And I get all riled up again and go back to writing my demand letter. This can't be good for me.

My SIL is trying to coach me on not feeling like we've "lost" if we go to closing without a compromise. I am trying to get there. Not easy...

I also was sleeping with my contractor, as well as my architect!!!.....yes, DH~~~ It was 4 years before we got everything done in this house (just in time to start over doing somethings)....it was a nightmare for me.....someone else's house always came "first".....you know the saying, "The shoemaker's kids go barefooted"....well that is the way it was building this~~~~ I got to the place that I hated it...since he made all of the decisions (after all, he was the "expert", it seems like HIS house.)

But now we are older, joints don't move, we don't need as much room, etc....we are thinking of building a much smaller house......I have so many "second thoughts"...so I have the strength to withstand the stress of doing this again~~~~ I just keep hoping that a "ready built" house will come on the market in the area we want to move to...although we have already bought a lot there.....

There is the satisfaction of getting "what you want", but it doesn't come without worry, stress, and disagreements.

Good Luck

"Anyone build a house/ have difficult time w/ builder?"

Has anyone NOT had a difficult time with the builder? I remember your easement thread over on BAH. We built our own house but had major issues with subs. I did a construction contract for a friend (I'm an attorney) and specifically told him to make sure he got change orders per the contract and to not let the builder get ahead of him (meaning don't let the builder receive money ahead of work being done). Once I was out of the picture a lot of changes were made, some with change orders and some things the builder just did without change orders (without permission). Fast forward, builder is closing shop (they are 95% done but have paid over 100%). They gave in to giving the builder more money when he asked. Luckily they can afford it.

In my experience, the only people that don't have major issues are the people who are building very, very expensive homes (money no object level) and they use a very reputable, larger builder.

There are a lot of people with a truck and a hammer that think they can be a builder. Many lack either building skills or business skills. Either one is brutal to endure.

Wow, I read all these responses and count my blessings. We've only built this one house which we completed nearly 2 years ago now. I absolutely loved my builder and his wife who also worked closely with us and helped and guided me in many of my choices. He was professional and very honest with us. We built at cost plus commission and we had a budget based on his "estimation" of what the costs would be. We even cut an entire bath and bedroom off the original plan (before beginning construction) because of anticipated cost. When all was over, we came in at about 20k UNDER budget which left me plenty of money for plantation shutters throughout. I think it removed a lot of stress to not be over budget. He had a great sense of humor and we still walk through the house and smile at things as we remember some of our on-site discussions, alterations, and decisions that come with building. I wish everyone could have the experience we had. I'd build again with him in a nanosecond if I ever move out of this one!

I'm really sorry to hear you're having a bad time. I can't begin to give legal advice but if you have no recourse then you have no option but to try to put it behind you and hope the easement is never an issue. The concern will always be there I know but hopefully you'll soon relax and start enjoying the FUN part - decorating!