Practice empathy:

When you get frustrated, try to put yourself in the place of the person you are frustrated with:

If it's your step child, imagine you are the child that has to live in two homes, share your homes with step parents & step siblings.

If it's your spouse's ex, imagine why they feel the way they do. Try to put yourself in their place and understand how they feel. It's not easy to do if they are nasty to you but if you try to understand why someone reacts the way they do, then it's easier to not let it bother you or take it personally.

If it's your spouse, then practice communicating better.

I think that is a wonderful strategy to practice empathy. I know it is difficult to do when you are angry or hurt, but is definitely a goal to work towards.

I am a big believer in forgiveness. I try to forgive those whom I believe have caused me harm; I hope that others will forgive me if they feel I have in some way harmed them; and I try to forgive myself for not being perfect.

I try to give others the benefit of the doubt...that if they have behaved in a way where I felt hurt, I trust their actions were not deliberate. I hope they extend the same to me. I know that I have never in my life set out to deliberately cause harm to another; I try to believe the same is true of others.

So, I guess my resolutions would be twofold: one, to be generous in judging the motives of others; two, to learn to forgive others & myself --- again & again & again & again.....

After this holiday I am not sure if I want to be in blended family. I don't know if I can survive another holiday watching my SO serving grown DDs like little babies and meeting all of their unrealistic demands. It scares me that if I would end up in a family with them, I would have to follow the same patterns of taking care of grown women like they are 2-years-old. In few weeks after holidays when i feel better, I will make a New Year resolution. LOL

If I was making the list it would include something about that people have different ideas and that it's important to try to respect those ideas, even if you may not agree with them.

Treat others as you would like to be treated and hopefully someday the steps will do the same.

finedreams...I know exactly what you mean. I am also PMS'ing big time, so that may have something to do with it as well. I have some pics of my Christmas at my website (http://mmhodge429.googlepages.com)and I was looking at them today and thinking they look alot happier than I felt alot of the time! lol

sunny...that is definitely my hope, but until then, I guess I just have to disengage.

I felt down because my DD left after two week holidays and I needed emotional support. My SO instead of comforting me once again felt a need to comfort his 26-year-ol DD who has cramps today and both grown again DDs had a fight with BM and are all upset and need comforting. Of course we often have to choose kids over partners and I do it too, but when kids' needs are always always come first, I don't know if it is OK. I suspect my New Year resolution will be to start getting ready to leave this mess.