Internet addiction.

15 years ago

It's become obvious that my BF's adult son is addicted to World of Warcraft. It is so bizarre. I've posted here before about him not working for over 2 years, but I didn't know the extent of his internet addiction until recently when my BF turned off the internet. All heck broke loose at his house (we don't live together). It got so bad that BF did turn the internet back on (he denies to me that he turned it on, but I know that he did). He says he's going to throw his son out without warning one day. I don't know if a parent could do that. But, I don't see how a parent could let a man child waste away playing an internet game (to the exclusion of going outside for anything).

Has anyone else dealt with this internet addiction? I've read that WoW is associated with depression & suicide attempts if the person is addicted. I wish there was a residential program for internet detox or something like that.

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Comments (11)

believer
15 years ago
loladoon....go to ask.com and type in the question "Can you become addicted to World of Warcraft?"....you will get some answers there. Like any addiction....those around the addicted person cannot enable the addiction. Your BF is doing that. If his son ( man child is an oxymoron if ever there was one ) wants to support himself, live in his own place and pay his own bills then I say play away. If not I would not shut the Internet down and possibly have him forcibly removed from my home if he became abusive.
mom_of_2.5
15 years ago
I have two girlfriends who call themselves WoW widows. Their Husbands spend every free minute playing and have for almost two years I guess. One of them actually buys pretend items with his real credit card. When you are charging pretend gold, I'd call that a problem! They both work construction and should a job get canceled they will go home and play, not pick up their kids from daycare, and lie to their wives about the day. I beleive it could be called addiction, but I have no idea what a person would do about it.
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No, I wasn't trying to convey hopelessness; I was trying to convey the uselessness & the insensitivity of making judgments about people whose resources are at low ebb, whose mental functions are compromised by powerful addictive substances, whose boots we never have had to even try on. Obviously, one has to exercise willpower to get anything done. I tell myself that every morning when the cat is sleeping on my head & I do not want to move... but I get up, partly because I am confidant that I *can* get up, & partly because there's not an addictive substance in that pillow that has made my body dependent upon it. Addictive substances are potent, & combined with genetic or metabolic predispositions, they're devastating. Alcoholism is a physical addiction; withdrawal has terrible physical consequences & some dangers. A registered nurse who worked at the Dallas County jail once told me that part of her job was to interview people who were going to jail, & she had to ask them about alcohol & drugs. She said that alcoholics had to be more closely monitored than people who habitually used cocaine; they might be called cocaine "addicts", but that addiction was mental, while alcoholism is a physical addiction: Withdrawing cold-turkey from cocaine might not make you happy, but withdrawing cold-turkey from alcohol could kill you. Something that can kill you is not something that "willpower" alone can overcome. Again, it's like telling a diabetic to just get over it; there's no more insulin, they need to exercise their willpower to keep going & functioning. An addicted person's willpower is at a very low ebb anyway, since they are at the mercy of their drug; expecting or demanding someone in that position to just break the habit (or saying it's an "obligation") is unproductive & uncompassionate at best, counter-productive & mean-spirited at worst.
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silversword
15 years ago
My ex-husband was addicted to computer games. When the computer games weren't exciting enough he moved on to "playing games" with other women online...

I think it can be very destructive. It's like a drug, except it's legal and readily accessible.

I used to say, at least he's not out at the bar! But I didn't know how very destructive it could be. There was an expose on internet gaming/virtual reality games a while back, and some people have virtual wives, etc. You can kill people, hold a job and have sex with anyone you wish. In comparison "real life" is very boring and unfulfilling. This can lead to depression.

I would be very concerned if I were you.
loladoon
Original Author
15 years ago
Yes. It's very troubling. He is the definition of inertia, unless he's online with WoW. He has friends there, but not in the real world. He has a car, but doesn't like to drive anywhere. And, he had college tuition paid for him, until he stopped going to classes.
stargazzer
15 years ago
you can become addicted to anything emotionally. i have niece that gave up her home rather than give up her computer and forums like this. she could have filed bankruptcy and kept her home but the pc was on her credit card and she would have lost it..
believer
15 years ago
Internet porn ended my SD33's 2nd marriage. Sad state of affairs if you ask me. No pun intended.
gajopa
15 years ago
I personally have never seen WoW but was told my grandson's DD, age 4, plays it at her mom's. When my DD approached the mom about it she said "but she only kills bunnies" and "she only plays 15 minutes at a time". I don't understand her reasoning. So it's OK to kill bunnies and later maybe cats/dogs? And a 4 year old would have to play it longer for it to be damaging?
lamom
15 years ago
I don't know about Internet addictions but I do know about kicking an adult child out of the nest. DH finally did that to SS29 when he was around 19. SS29 was sent home from the army, flunked basic training, and was around the house playing video games and not working. DH gave him an ultimatum, get a job or get out. When SS did not get a job, big blow up and DH changed the locks, kicking SS out. That did not make SS self-sufficient, he just went to live with his grandmother. BUT, it did get him out of DH's home. Yes, a parent can and sometimes SHOULD oust an adult child doing nothing with their life.

That internet game sounds awful if so many are spending so much time playing it.
stargazzer
15 years ago
i don't believe any of these games are as harmful as TV, but limits need to be set with both. simply because children need to have a variety of past times including being outside. if a child grows up and tortures animals it's because he is predisposed to do that sort of thing not because of some games he played. that said, i would not like the bunnies being killed, but then i don't like to see any animal killed in games or real life. i sure beat the hick out of Mario and yoshi's enemies. LOL
iloveexercise
15 years ago
Hi believer.My mom threw me out when I was 16 (because she didnt like her BF looking at me).I had to quit school and get a job to support myself.
I dont hate her for it though,because I'am a REALLY strong individual who can survive on my own.

You may not think throwing this son who is now in his twenties out is something a parent could do,and I know it can be hard emotionally for the parent who would feel guilt,but I honestly believe that TOUGH LOVE,is sometimes the best love a parent can give.
Without it,he will only lead a stunted adolecence and never grow to his potential.
Internet addiction is real,but if he wants to continue his addiction,your husband should make him get out,get a job and pay for his own internet service to support the addiction.At least he will not have the physical withdrawals like drug addicts do.

I hope what I've written doesnt sound harsh.But if I,a former girl of 16 can survive out there,then so can a grown man.
:)
iloveexercise
15 years ago
I typed believer when it was loladoon who posted this.Oops.

Internet addiction.

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