Cremation is permitted in the church but its not a common practice and actually it is frawned upon. In greece the bodies were never embalmed. You are right about that being a dessicration but canadian law will not permit a person to be buried without embalment. Therefore we have no choice in that manner. And family will not cremate. Its an insult to be burnt. In greece they do not embalm. The body is washed and many many flowers are place inthe coffin above the coffin around the coffin to mask the smell of decay. The body is buried the same day within hours for obvious reasons. And depending if you are part of the 'old' calendar or 'new' calendar, cremation will not be performed unless its specifically asked for and you attain permission from the priest of the church. As for cremation i do personally find it insulting and disgusting BUt this is because i was raised in having burials as open caskets. But my husbands family cremates. And after seeing a few funeral i've become acustom to it and actually find it less tense than a greek funeral. I'm sure when my husband finally participates in a greek orthodox funeral he will be disgusted himself and shocked. There is nothign wrong in stating that something disgusts you. Lol..the fact is that you still have to respect someones wishes. If they want to be cremated . that is their wish. If they want a closed casket and buried this is their wish. That is all I do not have to be educated. I am educated with 2 degrees in biology and work for cancer research. I worked with many cultures and many beliefs that i do not agree but i wont bash someoen about. If you think i came across liek this then its disappointing but its your views. THese SD wanting for their stepdad to be buried. Not cremated. He didn't state otherwise and since his family has estranged him and considering these girls were dishign out the cash as well i think they are entitled to bury their loved one the way they see fit. They just feel threatened and disgusted why their stepdad's brothers who wanted nothing to do with him while he was living would have the balls to ask for a death report. Andif it was for genetice purposes than they should state it but its reason is obvious and its for money. AND THAT IS DISGUSTING! DISRESPECTFUL.

First, I'd like to thank everyone-with clear exception of Sylvia's caustic, sexist rant to a sincere plea for insight. I take issue with the claim that I just don't understand Sylvia's ways. Rude is rude, mean is mean, sexist is sexist despite any lack of 'understanding' on my part. The other responses offered a lot of food for thought and reflection. To offer some fill-in-the-blanks. Mom has been a single mom for a long time and has longed for a loving influence in her daughter's life. Mom has totally welcomed the excellent relationship I share with her daughter. I have taken on many natural parent roles by mutual agreement for our busy lives (Mom works). Since Mom leaves early for work, it's my pleasure to get SD ready. Then Mom, who's schedule is flexible, can get home early after school. Since I am a physician and mom really wanted the sleep, I stayed up with SD when H1N1 struck. I do Mary's homework with her because my wife just blows up at her (lots of history and frustration there). I am used to the single-parent role as I raised my two, grown boys (by their mother's preference due to her depression)from the time they were small. I love and miss my role as a parent and hated having an empty home when they grew/left. The biggest insight was finding an explanation why I was rushing things. My younger boy was troubled- terribly- his whole life and died suddenly exactly two years ago. Part of my overzealousness in having strong family structure, was perhaps to atone for the guilt I feel for not being the uber-parent that may have saved my son (a ridiculous, but hopefully understandable, thought). I now understand that this is my personal issue and I shouldn't make SD the focus of this atonement. Mom has strongly encouraged and welcomed the loving relationship I share with her daughter. It has been in no way forced by me. I have had a longstanding love for children. They were always in an exalted position in my family. My SD is a sponge for positive male affection, given a distant father. I guess I need to add that SD is actually adopted, which may affect the dynamics. SO, I am hoping that,through the passage of time, that things will evolve. I am trying to chill. I DO take issue with my wife for the unsettling habit of generally focusing solely on her goals without looking around to see how her actions affect others. It is not her strong suit. So, when she asks me to take the XMAS week off to be with SD and, last minute, she changes her mind to send her to her cousins, that strikes me as inconsiderate. If it had been her initial desire to do so:fine. But not after I had made all the arrangements to my busy schedule. Thank you again for the responses. They have been helpful. Initially, I worried that I had walked into the hornet's nest of a 'girl's club.' It was nice to see some measured, well-considered and compassionate responses.

OMG! I just HAD to post to this one. You sound as if you are telling MY story! I posted my own question a couple weeks ago regarding the same type of man. I can tell you from first hand experience that this guy is not going to change. If anything things will only get worse from this point on. I know that's hard to hear and not what you want to hear. I've been there. I too was wishing for advice or some magic potion to make him 'see' what he was doing. I blamed myself, I hated the way he treated my kids. I let it go on for way to long. I kept hoping and wishing that one day I'd wake up and things would be different. I did finally wake up but looking back I know I should have gotten out a long time ago. Sweetie... for YOUR sake and YOUR KIDS, GET OUT of that situation. Start now preparing to move on with your life. I can tell you that it's only going to get worse. I'm speaking from experience here. I finally did something about my situation. I filed for divorce (yesterday) and he moved out. I can't even express the calm and the peace I feel with him out of the house. My children simply glowed this morning. It's only going to get better for us I just feel it. Granted it's going to be tough financially but hey.. it's worth it to have that man out of our house. Above all else, don't blame yourself. The best thing you can do for your children is show them that no human being has to settle for that type of behavior. It's simply unacceptable. I made up so many excuses over the years for my husbands behavior. Always telling the children just to stay quiet and out of his way when he was home. We were prisoners to his paycheck. So scared that we couldnt make it without him. But I reached the point to where I wasn't scared of that anymore. It scared me more to think about what he was doing to my children's mental well being. I tried everything to get my husband to see what he was doing. He was so deep in denial that he would never admit to being the problem or even having a problem. It was 'all the kids fault' and my fault because he had no interactions with the kids. I'm talking... This man wold walk right past us on his way out of the house or into the house and not even look in our direction. He didn't even acknowledge our existance!! I never understood how he could not even speak. I thought how rude! Well, it's his loss. I hope the silence in his new place is killing him. Meanwhile my house is filled with laughter. It feels like we've come out of a long winter. Even the sunshine is brighter today. If you'd like to email me you may do so at lacey2010@yahoo.com If I can do anything to help you, even if it's just listening please email me. I know first hand how difficult that type of situation can be. I know what it feels like to have your heart torn out day after day wishing,hoping and praying for even the slightest glimpse of hope that something is going to change. The sad truth is... men like these never change. I'll keep you in my prayers and hope that you'll email me.

There're 3 unreasonable & obnoxious things going on here, & 1 of them is downright scary. #1: Your house rules say that once a child moves out, that child has well & truly moved out. However, the rule is being applied to only one. Yours. #2 You missed an opportunity to stand up to him when he ran your daughter off. (Can you imagine how your daughter feels?) #3 Your husband ran *your* daughter off, & now you're taking a back seat to *his* daughter & whatever she dishes out, & your husband is mad at you for being unhappy about it *& he isn't backing you up, & he isn't listening to you, & he is not acting like a partner*. The first thing an abuser does is isolate a victim from family & friends. You no longer have your own daughter living with you, & you're under the control of this man & his daughter. Your husband is the only one who can change things, & he's happy with everything but your "complaints". Women believe words, & men believe actions. If the situation is intolerable, you have to make it *his* problem rather than just objecting, no matter how well-founded your objections are. I my own self would change the locks & file for divorce, but I don't know your financial situation. If you cannot bring yourself to do that, you might just disengage- no meals, no laundry, no cleaning, no keeping either of them company. leave the house every week-end. I wish you the best.