First, not a SM of a marrying-age child...but here's my 2cents.

#2. Less awkward. Also, leaves SM out of the hug with FDH.

Make sure that when you stop you aren't all clustered together so everyone can see what is happening, take pictures, etc. In other words, hug with your profiles toward your audience rather than them seeing the back of someone's head.

Best wishes, and I'm really sorry your mom won't be there for the day.

I may be in the minority, but I think #1.

Reason being, if your mom was still alive, your dad would still be walking you all the way down the aisle. The "giving away" of the bride is your dad's job and would be even if the SM wasn't there.

I think it's really special that you are including your SM in your big day. I don't think it will hurt her feelings or be awkward if you drop her off at her seat and walk the rest of the way with your dad. Actually, I think it would be really special and set her apart because you're actually pausing to give her a special hug.

Just my opinion......I tried to put myself in her shoes and imagine FSD is you and that's what I came up with.

They're both lovely gestures, Ceph, and you're gracious to be doing that.

Actually, I think they're about equal, so from a family standpoint, I have no preference. It strikes me the difference between them is that in #1, you are being 'given away' very traditionally; in #2, you are taking the final steps on your own, so more symbolically adult and independent.

But both lovely options and no room for anyone to take offense.

I like #2, both because it means equal treatment of your Dad and your SM, but also for the reasons sweeby pointed out, now you're an adult and setting out on an independent life.

I like sweeby's perception of the 2 choices. I would probably choose the second.....boy it sure is hard when your mom is gone isn't it. Both of mine are gone.

I pray for you all of life's greatest gifts and most wonderful adventures with your soon to be husband. May you always be hand in hand, side by side and heart to heart.

I agree with Sweeby, both are good options but I personally like #1 more.

I'm not sure about what traditions are, but never seen a dad hug the groom. My dad walked me to my DH, took my hands & hugged me, then he literally gave my hands to DH and dad shook his hand & returned to his seat. I'm sure whatever you decide, it will be wonderful.

Thanks to everyone who responded!
I am leaning towards #2, partly for the reasons Sweeby said and something Ima said about hugging:

I've been independent for a long time, and feel a little odd about being "given away"... Although I want my dad to walk down the aisle with me, and I've had a tough time reconciling that. #2 has my parents with me, but lets ME give me away.

FDH isn't much of a hugger (except to me and A__) but my dad is, and it's normal here for FotB to hug the Groom. So that saves FDH one hug :)

I personally had my step dad walk me all the way while my bio dad and mom (who I love more than words can say) sat and watched. Some would call that weird, but it's what I wanted. My dad did reply when asked who gives the bride away with "her mother, myself and our VISA Gold card" though. :-)

I have to say I leaned toward #1 because it blends everything nicely - includes SM to honor her special role in your life, but still gives you a special moment with dad in that lovely, traditional way. But, if you don't want be to 'given', I think #2 works just as well.

I have this visual of the 3 of you, arm in arm, doing the walk from The Monkey's song down the isle. Love it!

You do know we expect pictures by the Monday afterward, right?? Don't make me get the lamp . . .

LOL - I know you want photos!
But keep the lamp away for at least a week, please.

Congrats Ceph!

I think both gestures are very nice. It really should be whatever you're most comfortable with :)

Hi

So sorry for the loss of your mom. I can see how you could feel the way you do.

IMO and as a stepmom I think they both sound great. I feel that she is probably happy as all get out that you included her and probably both would be fine with her as they should be, IMO.

I think both are great, but if you really want a little bit of something special between you and your dad I do not think you should feel bad about having sm stop at her seat and you and dad continue. I think she should be happy to be included and do whatever you wish. I think you are very kind to include her and should do whatever is in your heart it is afterall your special day. Good luck and congrats. I am sure your mom is very proud of you and will be there with you in spirit!