Hi, Jim, The first thing I would do is try to determine why the leaves are limp. If it had been properly watered in the store, they should be firm. Possibly the plant was allowed to dry out to the point of limpness, and then got watered. In some cases, the leaves will then firm up. Feel in the soil with your finger and try to tell that way if the soil feels waterlogged, or just damp. If you have had it for a couple of days and the leaves are still limp, I would then suspect root rot. Put out some newspaper to catch the dirt, and take the plant out of the pot. Before removing any dirt, just sit and look at it for a minute. See anything moving? Any whitish webby areas? If not, gently remove the soil from the root ball. You'll probably find that it is mostly peat moss, which holds an enormous amount of water. You will also probably find the roots very brown if any at all. When you get to the stem portion, is it mushy? If so, this is root rot. Your only chance at this point is to remove the rot working your way up the stem until you get to nice green stem. If you can do this and take off leaves as you work up, you can try to root the remaining crown. You will need a little stem to do so, so take off some more of the leaves until you have a 'stem' at least half an inch long. At this point, I take the crown and immerse it in very warm water to rehydrate the leaves, and leave overnight, changing the water to keep it warm. Then I pot it in a 1-1-1 mix, bag it, and put in a light place until the stems sends out new roots. If you have any moving things in that soil, pitch it in the garbage and kiss your $1.50 goodbye. Good luck. Barbara

Deb, I'd like to sic a flying monkey on ivillage! (I'd better be careful or I'll be sent to the ivillage equivalent of Disney!). But seriously, lately (last few months) I've been getting a certain pop-up when I visit GW. I never get pop-ups EVER except here on GW, and this one is a doozey. It not only freezes my computer for a few moments till it pops up, but lately it's been been freezing my computer to the point where I have to restart. (And it's an ivillage-sponsored pop-up - has ivillage in the address) Recently (over the winter) there was a thread wondering why people don't post as often anymore. For me, that darn pop-up is definitely a reason - it's a reason I don't even visit the forums as much anymore, because they freeze my computer. So I basically check out the forums at the end of the day, when if my computer crashes I just shut it off. Okay, I'm done venting. Sorry to get off-track everyone. It's just that image of the flying monkey got me all fired up.... :) Dee

No, I wasn't trying to convey hopelessness; I was trying to convey the uselessness & the insensitivity of making judgments about people whose resources are at low ebb, whose mental functions are compromised by powerful addictive substances, whose boots we never have had to even try on. Obviously, one has to exercise willpower to get anything done. I tell myself that every morning when the cat is sleeping on my head & I do not want to move... but I get up, partly because I am confidant that I *can* get up, & partly because there's not an addictive substance in that pillow that has made my body dependent upon it. Addictive substances are potent, & combined with genetic or metabolic predispositions, they're devastating. Alcoholism is a physical addiction; withdrawal has terrible physical consequences & some dangers. A registered nurse who worked at the Dallas County jail once told me that part of her job was to interview people who were going to jail, & she had to ask them about alcohol & drugs. She said that alcoholics had to be more closely monitored than people who habitually used cocaine; they might be called cocaine "addicts", but that addiction was mental, while alcoholism is a physical addiction: Withdrawing cold-turkey from cocaine might not make you happy, but withdrawing cold-turkey from alcohol could kill you. Something that can kill you is not something that "willpower" alone can overcome. Again, it's like telling a diabetic to just get over it; there's no more insulin, they need to exercise their willpower to keep going & functioning. An addicted person's willpower is at a very low ebb anyway, since they are at the mercy of their drug; expecting or demanding someone in that position to just break the habit (or saying it's an "obligation") is unproductive & uncompassionate at best, counter-productive & mean-spirited at worst.

So about 3 years ago I went to a shelter and was found by a Husky mixed breed. They were going to put him to sleep for being too aggressive they said. It was obvious that he was abused because if people raised there hands when talking he would flinch. When I brought him home he got violently sick and almost was on his death bed. After months I was able to nurse him back to help with lots of vet visit and tlc. After we had to work through separation anxiety and now he is happily kennel training and loves his little home when I go to work. Years have past and time has moved on and now I am engaged getting ready to start a family. I have been living with my future wife for the last 8 months now and it seems lime my dogs behavior is going backwards. He still listens to me but only me and not her. It has gotten to the point that if she even let's him out of his cage he will pee. If she puts the leash on him he pees and if she tries to brush him he pees. Also he thinks there is pain if u put your hands on his hips. The vets said there is nothing wrong with the hips. My future wife has finally hit her breaking point and feels that she is a terrible dog owner and she always wanted a dog. I don't want to break apart my new family but no matter what I try with her and the dog he will not listen to her or follow directions. I am so hurt! I need help before this gets any worse does anyone have any ideas? Keep in mind worse case I still will never give him to a shelter, but I would have to start looking for a new home for him. Please please any help would be great!