Halloween

16 years ago

So my dh's ex called last week and told the kids she was pregnant again...I already posted about that stupidity. But another thing in that phone call has still been bothering me.

We bought the kids all Halloween costumes already, they all picked them out when we went to the store. Anyways, their mom knew that because she had called here the day we got them and the kids had all told them about them. So when she called last week to tell the kids she was pregnant again she told them she had got them all Halloween costumes and would be mailing them. None of the kids wanted to hurt her feelings so they did not say anything else about us getting them costumes. When they told me that she was sending them costumes I asked what they were going to do with ours? They said they did not know which ones they wanted to wear because they don't want to hurt anyones feelings.

My problem...we bought ours at a costume shop and they have a no return policy. So, we spent between 20-30 on each of their costumes and now what? I am so mad because she knew we bought the kids costumes! The girls had even sent their mom a picture online of their brother in his costume and put a caption under the picture saying it was his costume!

So, why when she pays for nothing else, not school registration or anything, would she go buy costumes knowing that they had them already? I would love to call her and ask her what the he** her reason was. Even more, I would love to dispose of the package when it arrives, or see if I can return her costumes and use the money for some other kid related expenses. Then when she calls to see how the costumes worked out I would love to tell her that since they already had costumes we returned them and used the money for some of their other expenses!

What do you think?

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Comments (5)

jeri
16 years ago
I donÂt think she sent the costumes because she was a kind and loving mother Â you donÂt either. You canÂt change her Â so donÂt waste the energy even thinking about it.

My 2 cents is to focus on the kids. When the new costumes come, see what they think. Chances are pretty good (if they are anything like mine) that they will like the costumes they picked out better than the ones she is sending. But if not Â hey Â Halloween is all about the kids and just let them choose. You did the right thing buying them costumes, so donÂt sweat the money. Just let them choose. ItÂs possible that they may be able to wear both costumes (friends party, school function, ???) but I would not force them. "I" would let the child choose.

Will this woman be around for trick-or-treating to see which costume they are actually wearing??? If she is, and they choose the costume you purchased, then if it were me, I always take the fall for my daughter who worries about hurting her fatherÂs feelings. I would tell my ex that I had already bought a costume and dd is going to wear that costume. He can blame me all he wants Â I donÂt care. Will your dh do this? Tell his ex that she was too late this year and the costumes have already been chosen. Maybe next year she can help. Subject closedÂ
theotherside
16 years ago
Is it common for people to actually BUY Halloween costumes? Especially at twenty or thirty dollars each? Most people around here just create them out of stuff they have lying around, unless they are really handy with a sewing machine.
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hlmhr
16 years ago
She sounds like my BM - recently pregnant with her latest boyfriend's child, and all of a sudden trying to "play mom" to the kids she already has. Guilt? Pregnancy hormones? Who knows.

In any event, I would let the kids choose which one they like better, then donate the other one to a children's charity. Where I live, we have a Foster Child charity that will take costume donations and supply them for free to foster families. Turn this little complication into a good thing and teach your kids to share Halloween with kids who might not otherwise have a costume. There are some kids who won't ever get one costume, let alone two. They can be thankful for two, and share one with someone else. (You can also get a receipt for a charitable tax deduction).

Good luck!
sweeby
16 years ago
If she won't actually be there with the kids for Halloween night then you're home free. In my experience, most store-bought Halloween costumes are very poorly made and barely make it through Halloween night. And of course, the kids want to wear them to play in both before and after Halloween, and possibly to school on halloween day.

I'd tell the kids they can wear one costume before, but that they have to save the other for Halloween night itself. Then photograph the kids in each costume and send her the pictures.
mom_of_4
16 years ago
There is a very real possibility that she may not have even bought the costumes and/or since she said she will be mailing them out instead of she already has that they may never get there in any case.... there is always time for dress up with cotumes even when it isnt halloween... I would do what sweeby said and that way everyone is happy.

**We always buy our kids' costumes... although I am extremely handy with a sewing machine I simply do not have the time... The only time there is an exception is when one of the kdis has their heart set on something we can not find for a reasonable price...then I'll succumb and make a costume... but making four costumes with my schedule... not hardly.

Halloween

Comments (5)

jeri

theotherside

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hlmhr

sweeby

mom_of_4

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