I see things differently than others here First I don't this you are a native English speaker. You may not have put things the way a person who has English as a first language, so I won't take any of the words to heart just the gist of what you are saying. I can't see any mother keeping a room for her older daughter to visit occasionally while her younger daughter does not have a bedroom. This 19 year old is a spoiled brat and her mother made her that way.It seems to me you are part of the problem. Did you try to make friends with this girl when you and her mother got together. Have you ever once stood up to your wife when she's being unreasonable. It seems to me when things get tough you walk away. That is no way to iron out differences. So your wife yells then yell right back at her. Don't use the excuse of the younger children. Living the way they are now is worse than a little yelling. If you want peace you have to stand up to both your wife and this girl. I recognise that you are worried about losing your kids if you do initiate a divorce. A divorce may be in the offing if you do what I'm advising but it won't be initiated by you. I strongly suggest you document everything that goes on once you start standing up to them. Pictures and video don't lie. First clear out all this girls things, don't throw them out or anything. Box them up for storage, or give them to her. Then move your younger daughter in and don't stand any nonsense about it. If your wife leaves then don't allow her back in. If you want to work things out then have her agree to have some counsilling and if you do this then you must go too. Things are never one sided and you share the blame for letting things get to this point.

No, but I have to hitch a hip up to get in just a bit. We have a CA king water bed with a temper pedic mattress and foundation on it. In the motor home, the base is high, higher than the bed in the house. I get in the same way, just hitch a bit higher! But if we can't put the side slide out, I have to use the stool to get up on it from the foot of the bed, because there is about 2" between the bed and the closet with the slide closed. When we had the water bed mattress, I had my hystorectomy and DH had to cut down the side of the bed for me to get in and out by myself. I couldn't roll out like I used to due to the incision. He worked night shift, so for him to be able to go back to work after a week home with me, I had to be able to do it without help. Tami

Hey someone who had the same thing happen to them as me. My SS went into the Marine's after living with us for about 3 months. I was so happy because this dumb kid had nothing going for him...at all...just like some of his other siblings. Well he went and sailed through the basic training. We went to the graduation. He got sent to another school for training and that's when he started to let my DH that "he" didn't like it and wanted out. Then he would call and say "he" was just joking. Then all of a sudden wouldn't ya know he's getting discharged!!!! It was something drug related ( and to this day I don't fully know, cause the dumb idiot won't tell us). Anyway he was coming to our house, but stopped off at his mom's on the way home for about 2 months to do every type of drug known to man. Finally the little boy got to our house. While we were waiting for Capt. Dumber then a box of rocks to get to our house. My hubby and I had a little talk. He was just gonna let him come home with NO rules. I said "not gonna happen". I made up the rules, he had to agree to them and then we presented to loser the "small BOOK of rules". His brother (who was visiting from the Army) at the time said that these were more strict then being in boot camp. I explained that I was going to be someone he wished he never knew... The wussy kid didn't last a month. We "per the rules" as a team explained to the future "I live under a bridge candidate" that he needed to vacate our house. He didn't do what was expected and that he signed on the dotted line saying that he would. I'm sorry I don't let people live in our house that are that dumb. My DH ex monster in law came and got him and yelled at us. She even put the ex wife on the phone with DH. Well while they were chatting (she was yelling, I could hear). I decided to get something straight with Grandma sitting in front of me. I told her that she is not to tell us what to do in our own home, she can let this thing come live with her, and let him do or not do in HER own home, but don't you ever come into MY home and tell me or him what WE are doing wrong with HIS son...got it. They left....3 years later my SS is still sponging off her for free...oh did I mention that he acquired a DUI too? ( he's done some other really bad things, but I can't and won't go into detail) while he's been with her. You know the moral of the story is he's not on our dime and Granny got what she wanted...someone who steal's from her.

Thank you for your honesty. I have been divorced 3 times due to them cheating and being physically abusive I don't want to go through another divorce and I am on disability and get little in social security I can't take care of myself financially nor am I able to drive. I am stuck. So I need to make the best out of a bad situation. I love him but my feelings for him have changed due to him and his kids. I just keep telling myself that I just need to put up with it for 4 more years and she will be gone. I just don't know how to handle the four years. He told me last night he understands my feelings and to just ignore her. I don't know how. She needs to be dealt with and he from what I have seen doesn't deal with his childrens behaviors. I have a warrant out for arrest on his oldest daughter who is 18 now and nothing has been done that I know of. She did apologize for everything she had done but I still hate her and don't want anything to do with her or want her over here. How can someone screw up your only two kids? I would like to know what my husband would do if my kids treated him the way his kids treat me. Could he just ignore it? I have asked him this question and he said he can't answer it. Thanks for your help.