At the risk of bringing up a sore point, I can't imagine what SD did to eliminate the option of college. I have to assume a severe legal issue. Has dad contacted an attorney to see if there is any way to get record expunged? I would also suggest counseling -- I suspect the girl has some serious issues. Where I live chidlren up to 21 can obtain the country trade high school. Is something like this is an option. If all this has been done, and is truly helpless, I would suggest you see if Dad can get counsleing. What is going to happen to the girl when he isnt around. He needs a professsional to address this with him. IMHO.

Many people without college degrees are not able to find full-time employment - if she is working in retail or food service, 3 six hour shifts are typical. They don't want to have to pay benefits.

I am having trouble coming up with anything that would eliminate the possibility of taking some continuing education courses at a community college or online - even criminals in jail can take college courses.

She walked out of college without withdrawing properly, now oweing the college money, therefore they will not release her transcript to get into another school. (I think all of this happened over her first boyfriend). We have suggested community college, but that didn't happen. Besides she doesn't have any idea on what to study. I have also suggested counselling, but that went on deaf hears also.

There is no need to decide what to major in for the first two years that you are in college. You can easily fill two years with gen ed requirements and a handful of courses in areas that sound interesting. I think it is generally a mistake to pick a major too early. So far only one of my 4 kids who have graduated or are near graduation have ended up with a BA/BS in what they thought they would major in when they first set foot on campus. I added a second major during my last year in college.

The trouble isn't entirely your SD's causing: your husband is colluding in it by ignoring the whole situation. He needs to see that by not helping his daughter to get on the road to adulthood either by working or studying he is doing her a huge disservice.
Allowing SD to drift along, not earning enough to support hersdelf and not getting a job that will lead to self-support, or not studying for a better job, will only entrench her dependency and then when Dad's gone- what will she do?
Of course, by that stage you may well have got so fed up with having a non-contributing adult hanger-on in the house that you will have been long gone. Has your husband considered that possibility?

Since she left college suddenly after a breakup, I would strongly suspect depression. If they won't release the transcript - that would mean she must have been going for at least a full semester, or they wouldn't have a transcript to release. If she wants to return to college and get credit for the work completed, or actually in any case since she/her parents are legally and morally responsible for the amount owed the college, someone needs to pay that. Perhaps something can be worked out with the college to reduce the amount, depending on when in the semester she left.

I think Dad needs to get involved with the dispute with the college. I am still confused -- admit to not knowing that much about financial aid, but even if she isnt current on loans I have questions re release of transcipt. But in any event, she is only 20 and has her entire life ahead of her. If she were my DD, I would take her somewhere to get her evaluated -- college material or not? training? Dad really needs to get involved. I know there are some people here who say -- 18 and your on your own. I dont agree -- and I think you want the girl on the right track, but Dad has to buy in to it. I am certain you have tried, but he needs to meet with profesional and understand he has to help her get help and education. Perhaps as TOS said, she is depressed. Dropping out of college after a breakup is somewhat extreme.

Yep - ditto what KK said.

I really appreciate all of the advise from everyone. I haven't been able to talk about this with anyone and it is stressing me out. I realize that my husband needs to take more controll of the situation; and I am at a lost on how to get him more involved. My husband has never really taken an active role as a parent until now. I have tried talking to him, but that always end in an arguement. Any suggestions.

Just a thought, during a quiet dinner with just the two of you -- ask DH where he sees you two 10 or 15 years from now, what his retirment dreams are. Then listen. Then ask, what part of the dreams are SD. My guess is he will say she is married, visiting with grandchildren etc. Then you need to talk -- how is he going to help her get there.

kk- I really love that advice... I think I am going to use it but for a different situation.

I agree - supportive and understanding advice.
Thanks, KK.