Gee, I've had lots of friends with weddings your size and smaller, Ceph! Never thought about it one way or the other. Frankly I think huge weddings are way overdone, unless you come from a very large family on both sides you couldn't possibly have 500 people close enough to you to warrant inviting to a wedding and reception. And then it just becomes showing off and a gift grab, neither of which is a good look for a wedding, IMNSHO.

I think every situation and couple is different and none should be criticized. I had a large wedding - about 200 hundred guests - for two reasons. One, I have a large family. Two, DH and I had worked for the same company for years, and most of our close friends were co-workers as well. To make it better, my mother was a VP for the company and had been since I was little, so most of the administration was like family. It became a problem of how can you invite the 10 out of 14 of the sales staff you like and not invite the 2 you don't like w/o being tacky? Truly, we joke it would have been easier to have the ceremony at the company picnic. Cheaper, too! But, as my mom never had a big wedding and she was the one footing the bill, I just let her run with the guest list. I know she enjoyed having everyone there, and I enjoyed seeing her in her element.

It was a wonderful day with 200, just as Ceph's will be wonderful with 57. We all have our reasons, and they likely don't have to do with showing off or gift grabbing.

Oh, absolutely JNM - the "right" wedding is different for every couple...
Our 47 (37 grown-ups and 10 kids are coming) person wedding is our right wedding - and I'm sick and freaking tired of people DEMANDING to know why we aren't having some giant thing that we don't want. Because we DON'T WANT IT - that's why!!! For &^(%^$&*'s sake!!
I might express surprise if someone said their wedding was 500 people, and maybe ask why it was so large if I knew them quite well, but I wouldn't tell them (and I quote) "You'll regret doing it that way"

BTW, our 37 grown-ups breaks down to:
2 of us
5 parents
5 grandparents
10 siblings/spouses
15 friends/guests

Your wedding sounds wonderful Ceph, with each and every guest a treasured addition and no 'gotta invites'.

Perfect for you.

well i don't think there is a rule about weddings. big or small, either way. my parents had no wedding. they had my grandparents and mom's sister present. that is it. my mom had no wedding dress, just a plain summer dress. they went out to eat after the ceremony. my mom was in a bad car accident few weeks before the wedding and was on crutches. so my dad had to carry her in. she could not walk on the stairs. still happily married.

on the other hand my aunt married in two years after my mom, huge wedding, still happily married. both of my cousins had huge extremelly lavish weddings but both are very happily married. I had reasonably large wedding (by old standards ha) but i am divorced. no rule, no pattern.

It also depends on the size of the family. large families would have difficulty not to invite everyone.