A thought popped into my head as I was reading your post. What about taking those 3 by 5 note cards and sit down with A and write down on each one of them a good character quality that he has. On other ones write down good behaviors that he has shown in the past. At the end of the day or at a time that you deem appropriate you can get the cards and go over them with A. This could reinforce all of the wonderful things about A. If you did it at bed time he could go to sleep with those thoughts in his head. If he likes that then maybe later you could make some cards with things on them that he has some struggles with and chose a time that you could go over one or two of those things. You could even give him multiple choice answers that he could choose from so that he could learn to make better choices in each situation. Just a quick thought...:o>

We've got those days! And I think of what you're describing as my 'turnaround strategy'.

With John, he normally responds well to gentle teasing and humor. So what might work well for him would be to say something along the lines of "Things have been going backwards today! I think you need to go back out of the house - backwards! - then walk aroung the house backwards and come back in the right way. That might turn things around. Come on - let's go." Then march out the door backwards dragging him along. John would be laughing so hard he'd forget the bad mood.

This might not be possible, but at one point, we had a trampoline in the back yard. And there were times we simply ordered five minutes of trampoline jumping. There's actually quite a lot of therapy in trampoline jumping. The repeated thumps actually help straighten out the self-regulatory systems in a kid with neurological issues - strange but true.

What about yelling? Not yelling at him, but simply yelling together. Kind of 'primal scream'... The only rule I would make is that you couldn't yell actual words -- just random yell noises. Could be a fun way to release some stress.

I'm sure I'll think of more...

Ceph, I can tell you are a warm and loving person, and my guess is A knows that. Everyone communicates differently, and I bet you are already doing this, but catch him with he is good, with lots of hugs.

when you point out somehting bad that he did, also mention the good stuff. "Oh you did such a good job wiht this drawing so i'd love to see you not hitting the cat." i know it sounds stupid but mix good with the bad. you are doing a great job wiht him.

Okay, being the cat lover I am, and also along the lines of your "natural consequences for behavior" philosophy (which I basically agree with too), next time A___ pokes the cat, you could say something like "Hey, A____, watch this, look what happens when you pet her (or him?) really gently and sweetly... look at her flip over on her back and stick her paws up and purr and cuddle up next to you! Isn't that so much nicer and more fun than her running from you?" Or something along those lines. Not thatyou probably haven't already done that, but just an example of showing the more positive alternative in that moment, so he can see the 'natural consequences' of the GOOD behavior...

Just to clarify - I'm not trying to work on the roughness of a bad day here... Bad days happen, and they are comparable to good days of a year ago, so I've got nothing to complain about.
But on a recent bad day, A__ burst into tears and said "I can't do anything right and no one loves me because I'm a big screwup"... Poor little guy.
The things he'd been corrected for included pestering the cat, throwing things at the chandelier, pouring juice with his eyes closed, picking fertilizer out of the plant and dropping it on the floor so he could step on it, bad language, standing on the back of the couch, as well a general bad attitude. We try to go for "positive" corrections, but even those build up after a whole day of them.

I'm just stumped on how to try to connect with him on a rough day and make him feel like he's NOT an unloved screwup.

OK - Subtle distinction, but meaningful...

What about quietly starting a "Yes Box"? This would be a box, bag or jar (not see through) and into it, you would drop cards with compliments, praise or accomplishments written on them. Pre-load the box with things A_ has done right, done well at, or compliments people have given him. Include who said it and specifics of the occasion on some. Then when he needs it, pull out the jar and have A_ reach into it and pull out a pleasant surprise or two.

I'd be inclined to give him a huge hug and tell him, "Honey, you're not a big screw up! And while sometimes you do things I don't like, I will always love _you_! You are not your behaviour. We _all_ have bad days when it's hard to stay in control; and both of us know you can behave better. BUT, I know expecting you to be perfect all the time is like asking an athlete to do his personal best every performance. That's soooo hard and takes years of training. So now we're doing the training. Today's not a personal best day, but I still love you."