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tamar_422

SS's Return Home from Residential Treatment

18 years ago

Still, so far, so good. SS seems like a different person. He has been clean and sober for 6 months, and he is much more respectful and helpful than he was when he left. Everyone is pretty happy at home. We have agreed to a pretty strict home contract, including being homebound for the first 4 weeks (he can go to school, therapy and AA meetings, plus look for a job, which we will drive him to). Once he is allowed out, his curfew is pretty early. It graduates from 9 pm up to 11 pm on the weekends, and 8 pm during the week. He must be home for 4 family dinners per week (I'm not sure how I will get my younger kids home all together, what with all their activities, but we'll see), and he won't having driving privileges until December 1. We didn't want him to hang out with his old friends, but we worked with his therapist on this one. He really wants to be able to give his friends (the core group, not the ones he did the harder drugs with) a chance to respect his new lifestyle choices. If they cannot refrain from talking about drugs, alcohol, parties, or engaging in those activities around him, he will not be friends with them. This was his idea, and the therapist agreed that as long as he was attending his AA meetings, and he was honest with himself, it might work. Who knows? Maybe if his friends can't talk about partying, they won't have anything to talk about, and son will realize they really don't have much in common. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I did not attend the graduation and family camp-out. It was just too important to take my little guy to his first day of kindergarten. I do not regret this decision in the least. DH did say I missed some interesting happenings.

Apparently, BioMom confessed during the "sharing circle" with the other families that she had relapsed. I think I have mentioned previously that when the boys were very young, about 16 years ago, DH had sent her to rehab for alcoholism after she had been in an auto accident with the boys in the back seat. She wasn't a very good mom back then, as my older stepson recalls, but she had managed to clean up her act. Anyway, BioMom blamed her relapse, which was three years long, for her inability to be an attentive mother. She actually said she couldn't be a hypocrite and tell the boys they couldn't party while she herself was drinking.

I thought son's graduation from rehab was an interesting time to out herself (it is all about her, isn't it?), and that, once again, she was attempting to remove the responsibility of parenting from herself. So typical.

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