The title of this post should say "members" not "member". It would not be as bad if there was just one of you here.

I totally agree with you! Many people here are very nice, but the few who are unreasonable and just plain hateful ruin the forum. That is why I don't hardly post here anymore. There are other, friendlier forums.

Agreed.

Seems the sole purpose of some posts is to denigrate and belittle SM's who are here for support. I don't understand why someone who is not a SM or S-Child is here anyway?

They do not offer support, they are mean & cruel, obviously have a beef to pick with all SM's, no matter what the situation is. Almost all the posts are inflammatory and accusing in nature and just plain nasty.

I hate that I have to respond sometimes I get so irritated at it that I feel it necessary to even respond.(which is what these posters want-talk about rewarding negative behavior!).

Anyway, I will agree and really wish that we could stick to being a SUPPORTIVE group and give constructive feedback here. Also wish that the bitter cheated on 1st wives club would leave the building.

Not all SM's were TOW. Some SM's had their Skids dumped on them by BM's so they could go use drugs or have a new life, and then they are left with a child that is an emotional wreck caused by their Bio-parent. Everyone has a unique story and issues. What we do have in common are raising skids, blending families and trying to DO OUR BEST by them. That's why we are here. Not to be burned at the stake because YOUR Ex couldn't keep it in his pants.

Get over it, move on.

I am so glad that you posted this thread Believer. I was going to do the same thing, but my subject title was going to be: DOESN'T GET ALONG WELL WITH OTHERS! I was sidetracked with my laundry, so thanks for getting the ball rolling.

The treatment of Kathy was abhorrent and mean spirited. What is the point of treating a complete stranger in that manner? I was actually disgusted by ***'s initial TOW accusation and that's why I said that her bitterness was showing. I thought that she'd back off and conduct herself more appropriately. K in W didn't ask us why we thought her SK's didn't include her. Instead of the compassion that should be given to her as a caregiver who is looking out for the best interest of her spouse, she feels the need to defend her character. Geez, shame on you ***.

The irony about the poster of whom we speak, if I remember correctly, was very high and mighty about the way one should offer respect to everyone, i.e., the telephone call post w/SD refusing to hang up phone and locking herself in bdrm.

I, like Catlettuce, try to ignore ***'s posts, but sometimes it's difficult. Maybe we all need to make a concerted effort to no longer respond to ***'s divisive remarks.

The reason this kind of rudeness is allowed is because we no longer have Spike around to keep people civil. Therefor "anyone" can get in and spew their toxic fumes around. If every regular reader/poster send a complaint to Ivillage every time she hijacked a thread with her endless AGENDA, then eventually they would ban her just because they don't want to pay a salary for the man-hours it would be taking them to read the emails. That is your only hope.

However, for the practical immediate future, I highly recommend that you post a warning in each thread when she makes her initial inquiry (with, of course, the hope to prove her AGENDA), warning the poster to beware, not answer her question, and for the sake of her sanity and in the cause of keeping the thread on topic, scroll on by ("SOB") her comments. If we all simply did not read her postings there would be nothing to be upset about.

It is the real magic and blessing of internet communication. You don't have to be subjected to anyone you don't like for whatever reason. They can't shout you down, bang on your door, cause trouble for you with your kids, husbands, wives, neighbors, or bosses. Their power is limited to what Y.O.U. give away to them, no more and no less.

She's found herself a bully pulpit and has bent it to her will. Take this forum back!

And, who, pray tell am I anyway? Just a long-time GardenWeb member who has chosen to remain silent on this particular forum because I don't like her, her flying monkey kksomethingorother, or their endlessly repetitive yowling and scratching.

I read enough of the both of them to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Now I SOB. Every. single. time.

If you feed the trolls, they stay.
j

I promise from now on not to feed the trolls....are ya with me peoples?????

Jerri said "because I don't like her, her flying monkey kksomethingorother, or their endlessly repetitive yowling and scratching."

OMG *wiping the tears from my eyes*
My tummy hurts from all that laughing.
I had to read that excerpt aloud to FDH, who also had a good laugh.

"I promise from now on not to feed the trolls....are ya with me peoples????? "

I'm with ya, but do think when there is a unsuspecting attack on a new member whomever spots the nasty post first should at least post a "pay no attention to the angry troll" so the OP knows that not everyone on the board here is so bitter and they are welcome here.

~Cat

Ceph, I had to do the same thing. Jerri - you are quite the writer. I may have to store that line away for use someday . . .

Cat....I think watching out for new members and giving them the heads up is a great idea. I'm on board with that.

It's me -- the one who didn't intend to, but apparently started a small furor in this stepfamily forum.

Many of you are correct in writing that some others were unkind, hateful, and/or cruel to me. But you know, I understand that perhaps these women have their own agendas (perhaps like the three Kids I mentioned!) and I'm doing my best to do as my mother always told me: "Remember the source, Kathy."

I'm not able to change others' past experiences or their world view, and I'm not even going to try. I've learned in my 62 years that what has happened has just plain old happened. I cannot change that. I can only work with the present and plan for a great day and a brighter tomorrow.

It is difficult, however, to not attempt to explain or defend ones' self when attacked. But I will do my best to remember the source of the attack and ignore it.

That's sometimes very difficult, though, isn't it? Remember the rhyme "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me"? Well, words DO hurt. Back a LONG time ago my step-daughters called me "a fornicating bimbo" and an "evil and conniving witch." I didn't respond to either of those names. I've never replied in kind.

Actually, my husband thought the "f.b." description was pretty funny, because I'm not really that type at all! Do you think they meant it as a compliment? ha ha. Nah, probably not!

Nowadays, however, I'm told by them that they love me, and they DO appreciate how well I've taken care of their father. Our grandchildren are vocal with loving and appreciative words, too. So, I chose to remember those words, instead.

Thank you all for the heads up, though. I appreciate it.

Kathy in Washington

Kathy, is that Washington state or DC? I love Washington St, rain and all.

We live in Washington state, in an area without much rain. My page will give you a bit of information.

Kathy in Washington

Kathy,
Glad you see it for what it is, most here are very kind and forthright and oh so helpful when your stressed and need a place to vent.

Welcome and please keep posting.

( Just ignore the Trolls, you know who they are now.)

~Cat

I'm fairly new here, and I rarely post because I see what happens. Mostly I'm in the gardening forums, but saw this forum and thought I could find a new outlet as I have stepfamily/parent issues too. I doubt that many people would say these sorts of things face to face. It's under the cloak of anonymity that they feel comfortable enough to show their true colors. It's really rough to read. And it's pretty sad that some members continuously post inflammatory comments that seem to intentionally provoke others.
That said, there are many helpful, kind people on this forum.