Well, hope it turns out okay, but keep in mind what Sweeby has been trying to tell you, don't judge this little boy too quickly. If there is a medical reason for this child's behavior, punishment is not the goal, but a involved team (parent/school officals) working with the child would be. Seeing that the child gets the help and guidance that he needs to function in his learning environment would be a more suitable solution for both the other children and the boy. When I called the police it was not because there was a child with special requirements involved, it was because a bratty kid without any kind of medical disorders sprayed a can of mace in my kids face after school as kids were exiting building...kid got the can out of his mom's purse and thought it was the thing to do to the new kid in class he didn't like who was getting too much attention (in the kids opinion). I'm ignorant on the disorder Sweeby refered to so I just did a quick glance at the medical condition...if that is what is going on with this boy, he needs help, not punishment... he's not a 'bad' kid. The longer the school/parent denies a problem the harder it will be for the child and for the kids he goes to school with. My DD10 goes to with a boy who has some disorder (no clue what, it's none of my business) and this boy attends partial classes in the regular classroom and partial in the special ed classrooms. He does not have a learning disablity, kid is smart as can be and gets great grades, he just has trouble being in the regular classroom. He's been known to strike the other kids, be extremely disruptive during lessons and has on a time or two 'mooned' the class. Some days boy does realy well and spends the whole morning with class and other times daughter will say '_____ had a rough day today and took his spelling and science test with his other teacher' (he spends mornings in regular classroom unless there is a problem). He takes art and music with the other kids all the time (he's very talented, the regular class teacher always has the boy's artwork displayed with honors)and it depends day to day on whether boy has lunch with the other kids in lunch room or if he eats 'with his other teacher and her students' as my daughter calls it. There is only an odd rotten kid or two that tease this little boy, the rest accept him as their classmate 'who has a rough day now and then'. I truly hope things can be worked out for the little boy in your case, Mom2. I think it sounds like your son is doing the best he can with something he really does not understand the whys and hows of.

Iam going though the same thing. He complains about everything my daughters do. My 2 daughters 20 and 30 and my 7 Grandbaby. He does not talk to them for days. Every night when we go to bed he starts to bitch about them from they eat all the food, they r lazy and wht doesn’t my oldest get child support I tell him that is her business not ours. Well a couple week ago he told them to start paying rent 300.00 a each. They only make 9.00 my 20 pays To own car payment insurance and credit cards, my 30 old pays her bills and the day care bill of 400 a month. I told him they can’t afford that he don’t care and if they don’t like it they move out. He get mad if I buy anything for them. He says u always get defensive I tell I don’t I just don’t know why u treat them like that. They don’t disrespect you. In the other hand they stay in there rooms to not bother you. If they come to talk to me he starts asking wht do they want. He like making fun of my granddaughter( calling a cry baby) and my 20 (making fun of her weight)I tell him to stop and plays it off like I am kidding. Well two weeks ago my daughter told me she can afford the 300 she said I can afford 150. I thought buy telling her to go speak to her step dad he would listen and respect that she came to him and. It to me. I was listening to her explain the situation well he said that’s not my problem and just kept repeating it. Well she started crying and she told him. Why do u treat us like dirt. W you hve never like us and I hate the way u treat mom. Yes she did get load then I stepped in. He lost it and told to pack her stuff and get out. Then told me it’s them or me in front of her. She apologized to me saying she does not what to ruin my marriage. Well my girls r moving out at the end of the month but that is still not good enough. Now he is saying I don’t want them to come over. I was really. Now my son came to visit and he is telling me he is not staying here. I told him he is staying this week to help her sister with daycare. He was who gave him permission I was what. It turn into a huge fight. He said they do what ever they want to do. Mind me he has not spoken one work to him cause he is still mad at my youngest for the fight they had. He told if u don’t tell him to leave buy Sunday Iam going to. I was wtf. Those r my kids and this is my house. He said again Iam tried we should separate i was like look if that’s why u want go ahead. I know u hate my kids. He stayed quite and goes into the room and sulks. Iam i wrong for defending my kids. They have never disrespected him. Iam so over this fight with him.

Thanks for the words of advice and encouragement. Somedays it is really hard to know what the best thing to do is. I used to try and suggest things directly to my dh's ex, but I am always met with "you don't know what it's like because you've never been a mother" Which is true I don't and won't be having children of my own..dh had the operation after the youngest was born-due to complications he does not want to reverse it-we talked extensively about this prior to our marriage, so it was not a surprise. Maybe it has had the effect of me wanting to be closer to my step daughters knowing that they are the closest to children I will have, I just don't know how to do it without upseting her. The thing is that I can in some aspects sympathize with her-I understand that things have not been easy for her in life either. Her father died when she was young, she got pregnant at 17 (dh was 22-the man she left for was older than my dh-I suspect she has spent her life looking for a father type figure-as by accounts by dh & her sister-she did not accept her step dad) Ex is actually a couple years younger than me. Back to the point....My oldest sd was a twin; they were born at 26 weeks. The oldest twin suffered a brain tumor and the doctors felt it was best to take her off life support. Dh feels that his ex never forgave him as she feels that he forced her to consent to let their child die. I can understand this somewhat, (I know as a sister losing is not the same as a mother) my own family dealt with this when my mother became pregnant with twins (which were born at about 26-27 weeks-unfortunately within a year both passed away) when I was 13. I just feel that if bm would lose some of her anger that it could make all of our lives easier. Not that I am saying it is all her fault either-as I mentioned the conversations between dh & ex would turn into shouting matches...I know my dh still holds a resentment at coming home twice to find that she emptied out their home and moved into an apartment with another man. I just can't understand why she has to make things so hard when all dh wants to do is what's best for his daughters and have a good relationship with them. I have tried being friendly, I've tried staying out of her way, but I really don't know what it will take to make her happy-maybe if I disappeared of the face of the earth? I once asked her if her bf's ex made her feel wrong for wanting to do things with his sons...she said that her bf's ex treated her awfully and all she wanted to do was nice things for her ss, but I guess it didn't register that when it comes to her daughters I am in the same position. Hopefully it will get better!! In the meantime I just love my sds when they are with us, do things with them, but also ensure that they have quality alone time with dad as well, and try to always be honest with them....and pray A lot!!

This is the year of "no presents but lots of love", and not by my choice LOL. For 11 years, I've spent the entire year trying to figure out exactly what I should get Dave for Christmas, but he just DOESN'T care what he gets..a few books, maybe a puzzle or a crossword book..he's fine..yes, I am the saddest person ever, when my "I've aced it..I KNOW what to get him, only to find turntables for the comp, weather stations he mentioned a million times, the teak shower bench that he said he'd spend cold winter nights sat upon in our brand new slate and stone shower with power jets beating him into submission (only to find he only uses it to stand his shampoo bottle on!) gifts still in their boxes, partly assembled, or just given away. The past couple of years I've given in to his wishes/wants.. and he's been happy with the books he's shopped/bought himself. I'm not, as I love the shopping/surprising/amusing little tags on/thought of you gift giving, and yes selfishly, I wish he liked doing the same as well. When we bought this house with the woodstove, I mentioned that some of the wood that I was splitting and stacking in the woodshed needed a splitting wedge..lo and behold, come Christmas morning, I received a 5lb ice cold wedge of steel..wrapped in a paper bag, and no tag, no name.. yes, I did ask for it, and he's still as happy as a pig in.. whatever ;) lol at the surprised look on my face when that was my ONE gift for the year! Guess I fooled him with my acting skills..so well that the next year I got a Lodge cast iron griddlepan to cook his steaks in for the winter times! Yes, wrapped this time in real wrapping paper and the price tag on it so I'd know how much he appreciates me!!! This year, he asked in November for my list.. I know, gasp! He's cracked it, he's figured out I like to receive AND to give. I'd secretly had books shipped by his parents from England, and a couple of neat things to surprise him, but not over whelm him. On Saturday, December 22 DH Dave went out to the garage to bring in one of the last pieces of door trim we were doing as one of my begged for gifts, and he fell in the snow on a slick of ice. He broke the ball off the top of his humerus, dislocated his shoulder blade and broke his collar bone. After surgery to pin everything to gether, locate the shoulder blade and arm bone, he's home from the hospital now. With his sling and pain meds in place, he's mostly comfortable, but he won't be able to hold the massive hardover books he so wanted, he can't drink the lovely wines and beers he bought, or do the shopping on the list he asked me for in November. He will be able to start therapy in about 2 weeks, and with at least 6 weeks off work that we can ill afford, he has lots of time to think of gifts for next year! Guess I won't be asking for door trim or a splitting wedge! I do love him..honestly! LOL Sorry for the novel! Off to shovel the snow so I can bring in a couple of bins of firewood that I split, with a great wedge!