sorry, i got to say more. This is not a reply to the original posting by my SD..it is my way to spaek about my pain. Let me tell you about Sarah. She was and is the most buetifull funny ..just the best thing that ever happened to me...and guess what, she likes me to. Im sure it broke her heart to that i have to leave. Imagine this, its finally your big break..everything in your love life is just perfect..then wham. a blow right to your spine..you have to leave you only hope of happyness, imagine how its hurts. Also a new school...if changed school's so many times and it's not fun. I was attending a great school..i had the best art teacher in history. Also my best friend who is a year younger then me was coming this year...
I feel oppression and depression is worst then deep deep loss. Either way.....im sad,
So please once your happy, hold on for dear life, youl never know when it will slip away.

Oh please, if you were mature, you would understand that life isn't a piece of cake. It is what you make of it. Happiness comes and goes all the time...whether you like it or not. You must not be TOO concerned about leaving or you would have put effort into helping your family get along. Look in the mirror-it starts with you.

Shutup.

First off to hrslady2- you are right- I don't think ronisalair is "mature" (as you put it)... and you are also right that life is not always easy and there will be many trials that we need to learn to deal with. BUT from reading ronisalairs post it is quite evident that he is a teenager! I am assuming you are older, and can you think back to the time that YOU were 15, 16, 17?? I can, quite clearly!! I thought I was very mature at that age, but looking back- I have to laugh at how very wrong I was!! Actually I have kept journals from the time I was 12 yrs old (i am now 33)- and have just recently read some of them and got quite a laugh from some of the ridiculous entries I wrote!! Such as thinking that my life was ending (at age 13) when my bf of 2 weeks broke up with me!! LOL!! It is ridiclous NOW- but MY POINT IS: it was very real to me 20 yrs. ago! He may be lacking in maturity but i think you are also lacking in compassion! It is quite evident that he is deeply hurt by all that is happening in his life and he is reaching out for help!

Ronisalair-I did not read your original post and am not sure I totally understand your situation, but I do feel for you. Why do you have to change schools? Who are you going to live with? Your SD does not sound like a very nice person. Have you ever tried talking to him and telling him how you feel?? You replied to my post "bio mom has brainwashed kids into hating me"...and I KNOW i would love it if my step daughters came to me and told me what I could do to make things better! (i have asked, but they offer nothing). Do you open up to your mom about things??
Anyways- I DO feel for you and you are in my thoughts. TRY to think that things will get BETTER. AND try not to rebel because of all that is happening- that will only make things worse. You can't control your SD's actions- but you can control YOURS! Be the bigger person and dont let him get the best of you!
By the way- my step daughters are here this w/e and tomorrow I will make a better effort to be the bigger person- despite WHAT their mom says about me!
Take care and i will be thinking of you!

Thanx,and sorry about that "shutup: stuff..other person. Your critisism is valued.

Shouldn't your user name be "Ronisaliar"? Ron is a liar, I think you mean.

This "other person" just wants to let you know that I have had 2 SD's. 1 nice the other not. I was old enough to decide about #2 and whether I wanted to be around him-plus I was already on my own. And from what it sounds to me...you have all of these people who want to raise you and you are bucking them. Why? because you like the attention? Is your attitude getting you anywhere? You need to ask yourself those questions. Your SD did not have to take on a single mom and her child...but he did and he has stuck it out this long. Maybe he thought that you, your mom, his daughter, and himself could be a family. And even if he isn't a very nice SD-you have to decide what is going to make you a better person. So, if you have to move in with your real dad, at least you are away from your SD, right? Isn't that what you want? If this is for real-so be it. If you posted here to get advice...you are getting it. If you posted just to trash your SD...I don't know about anyone else, I don't see the point in reading it. You need to figure it out what is getting your family in such an uproar. Are you concerned about your mom's happiness or just yours? Changes happen for a reason. My parents (#1 SD) divorced my Junior year. I went to 3 schools my Senior year. I was upset too, but I made friends at all of them and had trials, too. There were things to learn no matter where I went. I was on my own at 17-Dad passed and Mom wasn't around. You have family around you-and I'm sure they love you-it just sounds like you are trying to make it difficult to be around. Enjoy having family to take care of you-because the real world isn't fun, either.

Wow.. give the kid a break! I too have had step-parents and it was not easy.... but he is here talking to us.. he has found an outlet to let out his frustrations just like all of us need to do.
You can post here.. anything you want.. even if it is to bash your SD.. venting is the begining of a healing process. You know what goes on in your household none of us live your life. I can tell you one thing.. being a step-parent is not easy.. it is a hard job. BUT being a step-child is even harder.. kids dont have the same skills to cope the way adults do. Take care and good luck to you.

OK well I just read the other post about this situation and I do not know what to think...

If this is a real situation you really all should go to family counseling!!!!!!

Most of the people who leave messages at this forum have someone to trash...i.e. Biological mom, dad, stepmom, dad, kids, etc. read "I Hate Her, I Hate Her, I Hate Her!" So I don't see what the difference is.

Good luck, Ron.

Ron, or whoever you are,

Would you happen to be the stepson in "Enough is Enough Part I"? Perhaps we're hearing your side of the story now. Or not.

Ok, if I was out of line, I'm sorry. This one just rubbed me wrong I guess. The best thing for me to do is stay out of it. I know it's the point of this forum to express feelings-so I did. May everything turn out for the best for your family.

he's a joke!! it's not a real person or problem.

Yes, unfortunately they are. Read the link below for details!

Here is a link that might be useful: Enough is Enough Part 1

Ronisalair, I really think I need to tell you a few things, and you really need to listen. I don't think you're totally in the wrong here, but I don't think you're right either. Let me tell you a little about me. I had a very bad childhood. Regular beatings from the time I was 3 (my father died of a drug overdose, and my mother was very stressed, so she took it out on me.) When boyfriends came along, and later a husband, she let them hit me too, or feed me beer (forcibly, starting when I was 3 to about 7)and do whatever they wanted. The boyfriend that made me drink alchohol sexually abused me and my mother knew about it. He even left hickies all over my neck when I was 5, but she never did anything to stop him. When I was 11 she married a man who beat me and threw dishes at my head during the day and then came into my bed at night. I moved out at 15, and moved from house to house, school to school, leaving friends. So what I have to say to you comes from somebody who has been in a worse situation than you, and might have some useful information to share.
First, you need to learn to take responsibility for your own actions, and stop blaming others. Start trying to do better in school (I can guess what your grades are by your spelling ability) and stop being such a smartass. Yes, your stepfather may be a useless jerk, but in a few years you're going to be out on your own and get a good job and lead a responsible life. Having a bad attitude and little or no education will not help you there, and your landlord is not going to take "My stepfather was so mean to me!" as an excuse as to why your rent is late.
How old are you? I thought I read that you're 16, but I'm not sure. If you're 16, you should have a job after school. Even if you're 15, you can file the hardship papers and be able to work, because they give you less hours. That way you can have your own money, and therefore, your own freedom in a sense, because you won't have to ask anybody for money to do this or that, and you'll be able to go pick up your girlfriend and take her out, even if you do move.
Third, moving away from your girlfriend may seem like the end of the world now, but it's not. There will be others. Many others.
And fourth, you might want to ask your highschool counselor about al-anon. Most schools hold meetings during school once a week, so they'll call you out of class and you can talk with other teenagers with alchoholic parents/stepparents that are in the same boat as you. You can talk about whatever's bothering you.

No matter how you cut it, you have one heckuva dysfunctional family. In all the posts I've read, not one single person has asked WHY your mother stays with a man who hasn't had a job in 10 years and is an alcoholic and child abuser!!! If she is indeed an RN, as I read in previous posts, that means that she is a professional, educated woman. Just why does she feel she needs this man in her life? A man who torments her kids, a man who she supports financially? I can never understand why some women choose to stay in relationships like this.

The other posters are right. You must make the most of a bad situation and not let this drag you down forever. Start planning for your future, complete your education and go on to college. Have you considered the military after H.S. as a means to escape this situation AND get college provided?

Thanks for the support everybody.

How old are you, Ron?

Mom 2 4, there's a reason nobody's asked this kid why his mother is still with her husband. Because it's not an appropriate question to ask a kid. There's no way he can answer that question-he's not responsible for his parents' actions. I just hope he starts taking responsibility for his OWN actions.
People used to ask me that question too. Why my mother stayed with her husband and let me, her own kid, go. There's no way I could have ever answered that question, because I'm not my mother, and by expecting me to answer for her, they were expecting me to be in her shoes, and explain her choices. I can't do that, because I would have never made the same decisions she did. And you can't expect this kid to answer that question, that should have never been asked.
I hope you don't take this badly, because I really didn't mean to offend you. But I really believe that kids should not be a part of adult's personal decisions- they can't change what their parents choose to do. But as they get older, they do have to decide how their parents' decisions are going to be allowed to affect them, and take responsibility for their own actions. They can't play the old "woe is me" game forever, because that doesn't work in real life. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, and the weak blame others for their own bad attitudes and bad grades and drinking, and end up living off the government....

No, Patty, I'm not offended. It was more of a rhetorical question than anything else -- I wouldn't really expect him to have an answer or be able to explain his Mother's motives. Jeez, I personally have a problem understanding it myself, why some women put up with things like this, or being abused, or whatever. And yes, we are each responsible for our own actions, which is why I tried to encourage him to take charge of his own future.

I'm very interested in hearing how you worked thru all this yourself. My own daughter, 17, has very little to do with her own father. She wants his love and support, but he will never offer it. He acts like a loving father when she is standing beside him, but as soon as she is out of sight he basically forgets who she is, no contact, nothing. Any contact they have is always initiated by her. I am sure that she will eventually quit trying. He will be the loser though I am sure he doesn't realize this, or in fact, care. How sad.

i'm sorry but i still think this is a fake posting.