I'm one although my SM and Dad never had children together and I've not been anywhere close to your situation...my sympathies to you.

While I sympathize with your situation and especially your half siblings and step mom, you can hate the woman that breaks into a happy (or even not so happy) home, but the real blame is on the guy that can't seem to be faithful to one woman. He's the one responsible for his children's misery.

Sorry for all this angst.

Why is superision needed? Are these his children too? And if the new woman had a relationship with your dad knowing he was married, she is guilty too.

Imamommy,

Yes, I agree with you 100%.

I am such a lucky lady to end up with a father like this. He is handsome. He is charming. He does have money. And the kicker, we run in the same circles professionally! Lovely, eh?

Gawd, oh mighty.

My major problem is my stepmother. It is funny how I refer to her as that and probably always will. She was such a b!tch to me and just all around yucky. But now, I find myself sympathising with her.

Should I go to 'supervise?' I mean, if the new woman is anything like her...I feel obligated to. My SM was such a witch with a capital B, I can't bear to see my sibs treated like that.

I've met her twice now and she has just come across as very pretty and with two little kids with no daddies.

And yes, it goes right back to what Ima said...my father is a an a-hole.

KKNY, I am guessing my former stepmom wants supervision because she knows how she treated me. She is freaking out big time.

The new woman doesn't seem much different than her, albeit MUCH younger.

Karma I tell you.

Niv...If you feel like you should be there to support your siblings then you should. If you can do anything to protect them from the angst that your SM put you through (and my SM put me through), then you should. Not for SM's sake, but for your sibs.

Raek, that is how I feel at the moment.

To be honest, I feel really blind sided though.

I'm really ticked off at my father...here we go again, if that makes any sense.

I'm older now, I could crush this girl (new woman) if I need to, but my brothers and sisters don't deserve this. And, yeah the new woman could be ok (although I really have my doubts about a homewrecker) but my former (yippee, I can't have waited any longer to say former!!!) stepmom wouldn't allow my brother and sisters to be okay with all of this or accept my father's choices.

I just know she (former SM) is going to act like an a$$ and she already is. I mean, I don't blame her...but then again, she did the same damn thing. Which is whatever at this point, but the kids I whole-heartedly believe come first.

They don't deserve this.

How old are your siblings? How old were you the first time around?

I was around 5 the first time around

My youngest sibling is 6 this time around. He has already felt a lot of the 'tugging.' The girls are teenagers. They are molded after their Mom for the most part.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone honestly. The girls take after their mom, but I can't stand seeing them in this pain with the other woman and knowing about everything. My former stepmom told them and it is just so painfully obvious what they are going through and without the benefit of having a sane Mom.

I know this is complicated, I probably can't even begin to scratch the surface of it. My former stepmom thought it was just fine and dandy to talk about my first period with my peers...I mean, no one is sane in this equation.

If anyone knows of an adult stepchild/blended family message board, please let me know.

This is the only message board I've found. It is mostly SMs in here, but there are also a few Step-kids here and there.

I wish I had some advice to offer you, but have never been in your situation. My SM was pretty awful for several years, but things have improved recently. I was 15 when she came into the picture and my parents had already been divorced for a few years by that time.

nivea, My DD (20) just recently went through the same. My sympathies to you.

My DD was very upset when dad left his common law wife of 10 years for TOW. She felt very bad, she liked her SM and especially bad she felt for her young brother-X's son with 2nd wife(8), who was devastated by parents' separation.

DD likes her new SM though (DD is so easy going and does not get too upset for too long) and gets along well. DD also provides a lot of support to her young brother (X's son). DD also keeps in touch with her folrmer SM. So you can keep in touch with SM.

The bottom line is it is parents' life and they will do what they want and there is nothing grown kids can do but just accept it.