I graduated from a private boarding school. I truly enjoyed the independence that I had during that time, as things were a bit chaotic at home with my parents. I was a very strong-willed teenager :) I also enjoyed the comraderie that was there with the other girls in my dorm. Things to watch out for? I would point to being involved. Stay in constant contact with your son and ensure he understands that you are "there" for him no matter what. He will face dilemmas at times, whether school or personally based, and he will be making the decision daily whether to rely on his own judgment or to call you. Also, I hate to admit this, but at my school we got away with a LOT of things that we could not have done at home. We sometimes ran around at night, brought boys into the dorm, watched TV shows we probably shouldn't have, etc. Ugh. Looking back I can't believe we did all of that and yet 100% of my class went on to graduate from college! Anyway, I just think that it's truly important that you minimize the impact of the distance b/w yourself and your son. Good luck!

I also agree, a SM should not introduce herself as mom. However, my SD has introduced me as her mom to her friends' parents and I did not correct her. I did not correct her because I did not want to embarrass her or make her think that I had a problem if she wanted her friend to think of me as her mom. (I think JNM has said that her SD got upset because JNM would correct her and she wanted to know why JNM didn't want to be her mom. I didn't want my SD to feel like I am differentiating because I don't want to be called mom.. if that makes sense) I have also told SD that I'm flattered that she would call me mom but her mom's feelings may get hurt and I leave it up to her to decide what to call me. But, I agree... it's never okay for the step parent to misrepresent. I've always told the school, teachers, etc. that I am step mom because I have the same last name as SD, her mom never has. My point in my last post, was in general. If a mom has a problem with ANYTHING the step mom is doing or does, if she calls up and acts like an adult with the focus being on the child's best interests, not marking her territory or berating the step mom, then it's more likely going to get the result she wants... which is for the step mom to respect her wishes. I'm not saying that step mom will always agree or be as mature, but it doesn't resolve anything to get irate and demand things. I don't disagree that Sweeby's child's stepmom overstepped or as theotherside put it, vaulted way over the line in what she did. What I am saying is that if Sweeby had called her up and yelled at her ex or SM and demanded that "that woman is NOT my son's mother and how dare she say that and it better never happen again!!!!" might have been met with, "and what are you going to do about it?" and the fight is on. That is not what's best for the children. I think Sweeby handled it excellent and ALL parents should take notes.

My SD and her BM had a blow up right before SD started high school last year, and SD stopped going for the EOW visitation she'd had for years. BM did not push her to continue, and she would go a month or two without seeing SD. Typically, the only times SD would suddenly have an interest in going to mom's were days we'd told her she had to stay home and help with chores, ot times she was in trouble for something. We couldn't say no to visitation, so off she would go. By the end of the school year SD was tired us us imposing rules like curfew and other horrible things on her, and threatened she would go live with her mom. We offered to help her pack and said we'd call to have her mom pick her up. That scared her, but we followed through. Much to our shock, the 'loving mom' who always complained she never saw her daughter enough didn't want to have that daughter live with her. In fact, she didn't even want to go back to every other set weekend visitation. Talk about an eye opener for SD - she thought for sure mom would fight to have her. At that point we laid down the 'law' - no more running to mommy when you don't get your way. No more getting to pick and choose when you like your mom enough to see her and when you don't. It's set something we can all plan around and stick to it or nothing. So, SD sees her mom EO Saturday night to Sunday evening. We no longer have the fear of 'I'll just go live with my mom' hanging over our heads, but unfortunately SD also has the knowledge that her mom didn't want her. The sad thing is, its probably the best thing that's happened to our household. SD has become a much more respectful and reasonable teenage girl since she learned she didn't have a trump card. Why do I tell you this long story? Two reasons. One - it's not always a bad thing for kids at this age to see things for what they are. Two - it's not always a good thing to give kids control of visitation as it impacts you as much as it impacts them. Perhaps you suggest your SS and his BM talk about refiguring a schedule that works for them both. It could be eye opening for everyone. . .

Thank You so much everyone for your replies. To try and answer some questions, last year she went to the registration and was told her child then would have to go to kg even though she was born 8 hours before the cut off. but the parents really felt their girl was not ready so just did not register her and sent her to a private pre k , thinking that this year they would then accept her at the school but now this year they are saying no, they will put her in grade one. she was born sept 30th and the cut off in Quebec is oct. 1st. now in Quebec we have the French boards and English boards, my daughter wanted the French school because it is walking distance from her home and most neighbors will be going there. They are a very traditional type school with strick guidelines that don't seem to be easily crossed. the English board, is much more pliable and seem to try and work with the families. Their are strick rules in Quebec about the eligibility of who can go to the English schools and luckily my gd because off her parents and grand parents English education background will be eligible. the English board is willing to accept her with open arms. The English school is about 2 miles from her house and they would bus her for kg and grade 1,2. after that she walks or we drive her. so, I know most people will say then go to the English and be done with it. 1). french school....closer, more immediate neighbors going, I think a better stronger school for education but that is probably why they are not flexible. 2) English school.....further, less friends close by on street, a more flexible program which I saw before as not as good but maybe that is better, who knows?.. 3)..... The language itself is not a problem, my gd already speaks both languages and the English school is 100 percent immersion of French for k, and grade one and two. it helps me to write all this out because I think it makes things more clearer for making decisions but I still like to hear people sake on things. again academically I am not overly concerned, it is her emotional upheavals that will give her problems. It would take me too long to try and explain her sometimes strange behaviors. Ok, now I am rambling...