"I worry about giving him any kind of brewers yeast, in case this is a yeast infection... ?" There is no problem with giving him brewer's yeats (which is DEAD) if he has a yeast infection ... different species.

There can be an underlying anatomic problem causing acid reflux - hiatal hernia, This occurs when part of the stomach prolapses upward through your diaphragm (a muscular structure which normally has a small gap to allow passage of the esophagus). Hiatal hernias may be asymptomatic, but if large enough tend to cause reflux of acid into the esophagus and symptoms of reflux. The dietary and lifestyle measures mentioned earlier may be enough to relieve symptoms, but if they or meds don't do the trick, surgery to fix the hiatal hernia may be necessary. Any other underlying G.I. issues would require a good gastroenterology consultation and not a nebulous "gut healing protocol". Sometimes acid reflux improves whether or not you take steps to reduce risk factors. I used to have a lot of discomfort from it at night some years ago and took medication for a short time. More recently it's only occasionally that I have mild symptoms, and I'm not taking any meds, herbs or special precautions. Sometimes conditions get better on their own and whatever interventions you were trying wrongly get the credit. This post was edited by eric_oh on Fri, Jan 24, 14 at 17:49

I just read this post and wanted to respond. I was interested in the responses that you recieved V. Some were helpful. I have a few thoughts on this subject as well. I found it amazing that someone would have the guts to post that if you can't feed them don't breed them. As if by asking the question about how to prepare for the future, you are not doing your duty. It sounds like you are doing a great job feeding them, if you will, and are now looking toward the future. Good for you. I also found it interesting that the debate came down to a pick one scenario for everyone who did respond. You are crazy to pay for their college and not take care of yourself or you are selfish to take care of your retirement and not help your kids. I put forth that you have set two goals and want to know how to make both of those goals work. Without knowing more about your financial situation, no one can tell you how to do this or if it's possible. What I will tell you is about myself. I am a stay at home mother of three. My husband is ten years older than I am. He wants to retire in his early 60's (62 at the latest). Our children will just be going to college at about the time he wants to retire. I want to pay for college for my children. These are both valid goals. We gathered all of our information together and went and paid 400$ to a financial planner. It was the BEST thing we ever did. We are not rich. But we thought it was well worth the money to have someone help us look at our overall financial well being and help us draw some basic predictions (conservative predicitons) towards the future. He looked at our insurance and our finances. We found out we probably needed more disability insurance, if something were to happen to my husband, there is no way we could have held on to the house and made things work, even if I went back to work. We found out that we were doing fine with retirement and needed to think about college funds. I have the peace of mind now, knowing that if my husband were to die or get injured we could keep the house, maintain our style of living and be OK. And I won't have to go to work. That is important to us. We can retire in our 60s but it will most likely be age 65 (instead of 62) and pay most of our kids college expensis. I would strongly suggest that you think about going to a financial planner. Pick one wisely but know that they are worth the money in my book. Some things to think about- you can save for the local state university and your child will end up in Harvard. Then what? For us, we decided to save as much as we could towards helping our children get a basic four year degree. If we have enough to pay for their college, great. If they go to Harvard, Yale etc- high expensis, they will have to work and get student loans and scholarships. Or you will save for college and they won't go to college. Then what? This is one reason we have not put anything in their name that will equal a large chunk of money that will be theirs at age 18. Although they are adults at age 18, we know that they are still young and still lack the in depth decision makign skills they might need. We would hate to see our money spent on a nice car at the expense of college. The choice will be theirs at that time. What college to go to? How to help pay for it- live at home, work, not go? They will be well on their way to adult hood and able to make decisions that impact their future. Even now, our children are encouraged to save for college. (ages 4,2,5 months). We take any gift money sent to them and put it in the bank in their name. We give them a small allowance and help them split it up to tithing, spending, savings (my 2 and 5 months old don't get it yet, but they will). We are setting a policy now that any money they get in gifts at least 1/2 will go to the bank. This will be their money towards college and other expensis they may have as they grow and leave home. (Down payment on a home? Down payment on an appt? Down payment on a car? college?) The other thing we did- we took all of our money (except for a little bit) and put it in our accounts. We have not seperated out college vs retirement vs a big wedding. We figure it is all ours and if something comes up that we have to spend it, we want to be able to do so with out feeling like we are spending our childrens' money. WE earned it and we want to use it the best way we need to at any given time. You just never know what will come up (accident, job loss, etc.)... So it's in one big pot with our name on it (except for a very little bit). Closer to college time we will sit down and figure out where we stand- how much we have total, how much we can help each child out with college, how much we need for retirement etc. Then we will help our children. It is my belief that we had these children and along the lines of if you can't feed them don't breed them- we want to help them along in their adult hood the best we can. It seems a shame to force them to take on student loans when we will hopefully be in a position to help them if not pay for their college totally. I have some personal reasons for wanting to help my children through college based on my history. But there you have it. On the flip side though, we do not want to hurt our retirement or not retire to help our children. As someone posted earlier- $30,000 at age 30 is easier to pay off in the long run than the same debt at age 60 on a fixed income. I maintain that there is probably a fine line between these two goals that you can walk. I would put forth that with some research and budgeting, most families can be in the position we are now in. It's not ideal- we scrimp a bit and we don't do everything (many) of the things I'd like to do (like move to a huge house, go on more vacations, fly etc). But I feel good about where we stand. We know we can take care of ourselves and our children now and for many years to come. We know we can retire and help our kids through college. A 529 is a great option. We have one for each child. There are other options- roth iras, coverdale ira, schwab accounts, drips, etc. You get the idea. This is one reason we went to a financial planner. He helped us untangle the information and then backed off and let us make the decisions that we felt were best. Good Luck. Ginger

Hi used2bsexy - It is difficult to start the forgiveness process. The pain is so fresh that you don't know where to begin. You are waiting for the day when you will want to finally do it but it never happens. From what I read "Forgiveness" is a conscious decision. It is not something that just happens easily. I think some people have an easier go with it, though. Forgiveness is not done to let the other person off (namely DH). You do it for yourself. "It sets the captive free". The abuser may not know the full extent of the pain he or she has caused you. Therefore, you cannot extract one bit of compensation from them by remaining in pain. Actually, letting go of it renders the abuser powerless. You stop thinking about how angry you are at him. He isn't important anymore. You have just given yourself permission to live again. It helps you also to see them in a different way. Yes, you can even come to feel compassion for the very person who has hurt you. The rest is up to you. As you begin, maintain the stance of forgiveness. You can further enhance the change by behaving toward the person who hurt you in a forgiving way. Perhaps, in time DH will start to respond in kind to the change. Even if he doesn't, you will be at Peace. There will be times that you might fall back and have to start again, but you will doing it more to please yourself. You are making an active choice not to remain in pain. Remember that just because you decide to forgive and move on, it does not mean the "forgiven" will thank you for it. You owned the pain to begin with even if DH caused it. You can't get inside his head to figure out whether he feels guilty or did it on purpose and you may never know for sure. "Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." ~Mark Twain By way of observation of myself, I have grown to the conclusion that the more that I thought about the harm that was done to me the more harm I did to myself. I enforced the hurt but constantly re-enacting it in my mind. In a way, you are re-harming yourself when you do that. You let it go. Why, cause you can not pass that way again no matter how you might want to. It is water under the bridge. That is not to say that you don't remember it. That is how we learn also. It helps us in other areas of life as well. It is a good thing to grow wiser. We can, then, circumvent other potentially hurtful people and situations. And, even if we collide with someone else who hurts us, we can also learn a new way of adjusting to it. Hoping that others will have many other hopeful insights ito your question.