A voice from the past is heard..happen to you?

24 years ago

A little background...my BIL was married for about 8 years to a woman. She had 2 kids that were about 18 months apart or so and were like 2 and 4 when they married. Three years ago BIL and SIL divorced and she moved halfway across the country. BIL decided he couldn't have anything to do with the girls because he already saw how their mother was with their biological Dad and knew it would be hard to ever get to spend any time with them and that his ex would make his life miserable unless she was gone for good. So he cut all ties. Over the weekend our other SIL got a phone call...it was from the oldest girl who is now almost 15. She's now living with her biological father and he brought her to the area to stay with one of her old friends from when they lived here. So she called SIL and was asking about everyone and wanted to know if it was possible to come visit. So SIL picked her up after much thought and wondering if some people would get upset over the fact due to the situation. It was so nice to see her. She was crying because she missed everyone so much and it's been so long. We were her family for so many years. It was an emotional and wonderful time. We have her screen name and e-mail address and she has all of ours and we hope to keep in touch now. We just need to speak with her ex step father (BIL) and see if he would like to be a part of her life, too. It's a difficult situation but I hope he'd at least talk to her.

Anyone else ever have something like this happen? What did you do? If it would happen would you be willing to see the person again? My fiance' said that he didn't want to see her. I started bawling because I am a step child, too and know what it's like when your step father doesn't want you around anymore after many years of taking care of you. Afterwareds he then was so happy he did decide to see her and he was giving her our phone number and told her to call and we'd go out to eat or something while she's here and to keep in touch from now on. We've also got her sister's e-mail address and she's still with their mother..she'll be 13. Sometimes life throws some interesting things at you...

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Comments (2)

SugarBee
24 years ago
It's really nice that your family is visiting with this girl. I have a similar experience except my children (now grown) are the voices.

When my husband died in 1986 my children were 4 and 5. Since the day of his funeral we have had no contact with them. At first I would write their grandmother, send her pictures, and tell her how their lives were going. I'd include cards and little things the kids made for her...but she never answered back. Never gave us her phone number, never called...nothing.

It's been years and just several weeks ago we found her after doing searches on the internet using http://www.skipease.com for phone numbers, etc.

I first called my deceased husbands sister. I told her that we were searching for my childrens fathers family. She acted like it wasn't her. She talked to me and said "I'll tell her you called" but she never asked for our phone number, address, nothing. I said "Becky, I know this is you and I want you to know that the kids have really missed being part of their father family. Just remember that." and we hung up.

We found their grandmother. Called. Her new husband answered. Told him who I was, what I was looking for. He stated that "X" had no desire to re-visit that time in her life. It was just too painful for her. I suppose it would be very painful for her to look at my son as he is the image of his father...but I can't help but feel that there is healing for the grief we carry for our loved ones who have gone on before us with loving and caring for their children.

Both the kids were very upset. I'm upset too. But that's the way life goes I suppose. I'm just glad to read that there is one child that has been made happy by the family welcoming her with open arms. Good for you! I wish my children would have had the same experience. It's so devastating for them to be rejected....even after all these years of not knowing them...they still have the desire to know their fathers side of the family. Shame on them all.
nadastimer
Original Author
24 years ago
We picked up our step neice last night and took her out to dinner. She was so happy. She said that she hasn't been out to eat in a long time. I guess her mother has gotten worse because the girl said something about how she complains that they never have family time and yet she's always drinking. She didn't do that when she was with BIL. After dinner we took her to see my fiance's step brother and his wife and new baby. SN was really happy to see everyone and to be welcomed with open arms.

I could tell she wasn't excited about returning to her friends house. They planned on going to this amusement park and camping out all week until when she leaves on Sat. It seems SN is having a hard time because her friend and her haven't seen each other in years and have changed a lot. We told her she always had a place to stay and I've been waiting for the phone call. We figure we'll be more shocked if she doesn't show up here. I'm just glad to know she's okay and everything. It was hard not knowing all these years. Really I was only in the family for less than a year when they left but I still got pretty close to these girls.

Oh, the older girl gave us her sister's e-mail address. I sent her an e-mail yesterday and got to talk to her on IM. She's at her biological Dad's right now until later this month. She's counting the days until she turns 14 and can leave her mother. Sad being in a situation like that! I hope the best for the two girls and hope my BIL will want to be apart of their lives again, too. I kind of got the feeling SN was hoping he would be closer and she could live with him instead of her Mom or her real dad that she doesn't really know. It's so hard.

~Leslie~
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A voice from the past is heard..happen to you?

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SugarBee

nadastimer
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A voice from the past is heard..happen to you?

Comments (2)

SugarBee

nadastimerOriginal Author

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nadastimer
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