I know this isn't a legal forum by any means, but I just wanted to get some input. My fiance and I are both feeling pretty frustrated and not sure of what step to take next.
Before I say ANYTHING further, can I please say--no flamers. Seriously. I am just not in the mood. If you don't have anything RELEVANT or constructive to say regarding my post...I really don't want to hear it!
Attorney called this afternoon, late. He had spoken with the GAL today and got a hold on where we are.
Basically, the GAL is insistent that STBSS attend school in his BM's district. His reason is that she has sold him on the idea that she is a SAHM. (IMO, she's really not...if you have to collect welfare for BOTH your kids in order to stay home, then you need to get a JOB.) I do not understand that mentality. But anyway--she convinced the GAL that she is "always available" and therefore, he decided STBSS should go to the school that is 1 mile from her house.
My fiance is gainfully employed--he works 6 days a weeek. I just do NOT understand, nor does our attorney, why the burden of transportation is being put upon the party that works for a living. BM has ample time to drive her son to and from school; my fiance does not.
The GAL admitted to our attorney that, unfortunately, since the school district is year-round, he was forced to make a decision FAST and that he didn't really have enough time to evaluate. He said he made the best decision he could with little time.
He did say that if BM moves (they are month-by-month on their lease and STBSS also told us they might be evicted because they have to hide their dogs from the landlord--lovely.) Anyway--if BM moves, and STBSS has to change schools, then he will automatically go to our district.
If BM gets another DWI, with or without her son in the car, the GAL will reccommend primary custody be given to us.
But those are two big "ifs." The DWI thing is just a chance thing. She drives drunk all the time--but it's really just luck--she could go two weeks and get one, she could go ten years. You just never know. Our attorney really pushed us to hire a PI to have her followed and to call the police and report her drunk driving--to kind of expedite a DWI if you will.
He says we should proceed ahead with the depositions...we do have a fair amount of ammo on her. One ambulance trip to the ER last year--she had alcohol poisoning. Multiple police calls to her house with her ex-boyfriend; we think there have been one or two to the home she lives in with her current boyfriend, but not sure. We have emails from her cousin stating she needs prof. help, that her drinking is out of control.
But we just don't feel that confident. Our attorney seems to be blindsided by everything that happens...we don't want an attorney who gets caught off guard, but this guy (who really is supposed to be excellent) seems shocked by every move by the GAL.
WWYD? It seems unlikely to me--that if STBSS is settled in school and happy--that a judge will pull him out, unless, like the GAL said, something big happens, like a DWI.
So why would it behoove us to proceed with the deposition and trial?
I really don't know how we will manage the transportation to this school. I am completely out of the morning loop because I have to drive my DD to school.
I told my fiance I would be okay with doing one set day a week for pick-up if we are on a 3 day schedule, or 2 if we are on a 5. But I can't really do more than that. I may get flamed for saying this--but I do have my own child to think about too. And if I have to pick STBSS up at school at 4 pm--in rush hour traffic, his school is about a 45 min drive from my daughter's school. I would pick her up at 3:10, and drive 45 mins to his school. Then I would be going with traffic on the way home and it would honestly probably take an hour. There is no easy way to get there except to take two major interstates in the peak of rush hour. Like it or not, I have DD to think about, and I cannot see myself having her be in the car for close to two hours after school. That just doesn't seem fair. If it were just me--I would do it--but not with her. and then for STBSS---he won't get home until pretty much 5 pm when he is with us. I know kids do after-care and all that...but that just seems so late to me. I don't know...
My fiance totally agrees with that, as well. But it is going to be tough for HIM to do it, as well. He can't just up and leave work to pick his son up at 4--well, not if he wants to make any money!
My heart broke for him today because he got all teary and said that if all his time with STBSS is going to be spent driving in the car, maybe he is better off with every other weekend and then at least the time will be quality. :( But I know that's not what he WANTS at all, and I know he's not to that point anyway.
We are both still hoping that somehow this can be turned around.
We are considering using some sort of nanny service and paying a driver? DH was guessing $25/day and at 5 days a week, that would be $250/month.
The GAL did say that he is expecting BM to be "on call" every day and that if my fiance calls her, and says no one can pick up STBSS, she needs to get him--and keep him at her house until my fiance can get there. She promised the GAL she will be "reasonable" and "understanding." Haha. I wil believe that when I see it.
New GAL? New attorney? Take it to trial and hope that the judge looks harder at the facts and the history here?
Pray she moves and changes schools? or gets a DWI?