Cypress, The decision is yours but here is what happened to me... I met a man who I thought was the greatest thing since chocolate 5 years ago. I have 2 children (he doesn't have any) but he seemed to get along with them well. My son was 16 and didn't want me to marry him but I thought that he was being jealous because he had been in the past. We had always been very close. My daughter was 6 and enjoyed spending time with my new love. I never saw him treat them badly or say anything that was out of order. After 12 years of being single, I chose to marry him, after a year dating. 3 months after the wedding, my son left home, REFUSES to even come to the house to visit because Husband is ALWAY rude to him and cut's me down for defending him. My daughter HATES him!! I can never leave her at home by herself in case he gets home before me. He scream and fights with her all the time. He sends her to her room within 5 minutes after she get off the school bus EVERY DAY. My daughter is staying with one of my sister's for the summer and I am trying to get Husband to talk to me. He doesn't see a problem. He is the adult and man of the house and she needs to behave. Yes, she has developed a 'smart' mouth and voices her opinions more than an 11 year old should but IMO he needs to have some respect for her also. Children are people! their feeling can be hurt just like his. THey have a right to have their own opinion when ask a question. All the monthly bills are in my name as I moved them over to our new home instead of paying another deposit. My ENTIRE pay check goes to pay for them and food. His paycheck is his ~ he says he works hard for his money and deserves to have some fun. Leaving is not a do-able option for me. Your man may not do these things, YET!! That is the key word. If he is behaving in this manner now, just imagine what it will be like when he gets you to sign the license. Do you want your son to have to be by himself every evening, lonely in his room? Be scared to bring a problem to you or just discuss his day, because 'he' is home? Just my 2 cents, Good luck

Well honestly, no one ever said u had to like one another! It's nice for the kids if all the adults in their lives had one flowing ball of communication, but lets be realistic! BM probably hates u cause ur sleeping w a man she has a child by. Its one of those bitter situations of :we didnt work, so why will u: and shes gonna hate u for it. Ur SS resents u for along the same reasons, and wants to make his presence known. He wants a dog he goes to daddy and theirs nothing is stupid SM is gonna say about it, cause u are not HIS mother. Been there done that, trust me! My stepchildren were HORRORS when my DH first got together. Mind u he had already been divorced for two years, with two children: daughter 10 and son 5. And the daughter was THE WORST. Not to mention when my DH first married :at that time the children were 12 and 7: and my SD LOST IT. She and her BM were on a personal vendetta to make my life a living hell. And then fast forward to a year later when my DH and I had a daughter of our own and thats when the u know what REALLY hit the fan!! There were times then when I could say that I hated her, and she hated me I'm sure, but one day when she was at our house for the court mandated weekend, I caught her in the room w my DD. I was horrified at first, thinking, OMG is this kid gonna try and smother my child?! lol I caught her playing w the baby, and then she burst into tears. Sometimes when u hold malice towards someone u tend to get satisfaction out of their pain. Yeah, thats an ugly thing to say, but its true. However, when I saw SD crying I walked up to her and gave her a hug. I'm not saying it was like a lifetime movie after that and all, we still had our battles, and at times I had to try not to lose my mind and walk out, but here we are seven years later, two kids of my own, and two stepchildren, whom I love dearly and I know that sometimes, they love me too....lol Just stand ur ground, and understand its hard for a kid who feels like he has to compete with the new woman for some love. Sit down with him and explain to him that ur not trying to come between them, and that u want to try and share. Theres enough love for the both of u. As far as ur DH goes, though. U need to put ur foot down and let him know that u are not a chambermaid. Stop doing EVERYTHING around the house so hes stuck w chores. That'll really hit him where he lives!

I had a husband (yes HAD) who always made me be the bad guy to our children. He was Mr Fun. It's not a good way to live. I can't imagine your BF will change if the two of you have any children together. :(

Well, I'll be the odd-person and say that if I were you, I'd get rid of the shelf-thing. I'd try to make a memorabilia wall maybe, or get that stuff either on the wall decoratively, or in the closet, mounted attractively or organized. The blue is moody, and "cool" as in, a great color for a teen (if he likes it). Some bright art on the wall, or art with a lot of white in the background, and a lighter rug, will add some brightness to the room. I don't mind the sofa at all in there. He sleeps (and I like the queen), he studies (at an attractive and functional desk), and if anyone comes in (group projects, sleepovers), the couch is really nice. Plus he can drop his backpack there. I like it. It's the shelf unit that's not a "functional" object, imo.