...what stories do you know/have you heard about the Ripley's Believe It or Not competition for bad mommas?

I d like to hear a story about a good mom, someone that went over and above the call of duty for the child, rather than this depressive stuff.....

It's no fun to play . . . I think Sylvia already won!!

Aw, man, short games are no fun!

Ok, I'll post something positive on its own thread.

Oh good..Look forward to that

I know a lady who although is not a horrible mother thinks that it is OK to bring home every single man right away and let him stay. her son is in early 20s in college but lives at home, works and goes to school and is a very ncie young man.

She has been married twice, both marriages emotionally and verbally abusive. Since 2nd divorce about 4 years ago she had about 6 relationships (I don't mean went o na date wiht 6 men), but full blown relationships. She has relationships back to back without taking any time off. She goes out with anyone who asks which would be OK, it is fine to go on a date, but why bringing them all home and let them stay?

Every man immidiatelly comes in and stays over night and she immiditatelly says: he is the one. During her last relationship her son told her: mom you have to stop doing this. I would think it would be a wake up call. Nope. She is in a relationship right now and guess what: he is wonderful and DS loves him too. What the?

I understand she wants to meet a right guy but why bringing them all in right away, introduce to everyone and let them stay overnight. I can guarantee it does not make her son happy.

See, I think she's a victim rather than a perpetrator;

people who have been beaten down in their early lives, either from abuse or neglect, just have no idea that they can set criteria & make choices;

they "have to" take whatever they can get.

& almost 100% of the time, the first person who zooms in & offers to sleep with you is just not a keeper!

It's not just in relationships, either:

The same thing happens in other areas of life, too.

Where I grew up, jobs were very scarce, & they were *all* minimum wage;
nobody got to choose a job.
You took what you could get & were grateful.
Those jobs never lasted;
they were seasonal & you got laid off, or they'd cut hours to keep from having to provide benefits & you'd have to find something with more hours, etc.

When my now-ex & I moved to the Dallas area many years ago, I was ecstatic that the first interview I had resulted in a "job offer" (customer service in an insurance company).

I took it!

without going on any more interviews,
without finding out what other jobs would pay,
without any hesitation at all.

I guess I thought there was only one job in Dallas...

Sylvia,

I agree that they might be a victim, but when they do that in front of their kids, they become the perpetrator too.

My SD's mom broke up with her long distance BF of 5 years and started a dating frenzy... just after DH and I married. She set out to find a husband I guess. At the beginning of August, she was with a guy SD told us mom is going to marry.. less than two weeks later, they had broken up because 'he was just using mom' and she was dating another guy. Then two or three weeks later (first week of September) she had packed up and moved several counties away, leaving her kids behind for a guy she claims is 'the one' and tells them in the first two weeks they are getting married. Fortunately, she is still there and hasn't had a longer string of guys but it won't be a surprise if this guy boots her and she's back on the circuit.

She may be a victim of circumstances and this is how she was raised or she has issues that she needs to deal with, but she is teaching this to her daughters who are becoming HER victims... It's a vicious circle.

well I don't think she is a victim.

I don't even mind if somebody wants to sleep wiht everyone, i really don't care, i also think it is perfectly fine to go on dates all the time, i just do not think it is OK to bring them to your house when there are children involved. Children of any age. I think if you just end a relationship that your child knew about, going on dates right away and bringing home another man within a month is not OK.

Victims don't necessarilly bring every men home and let them sleep there with children next door. What for?

No i do not think she is being a victim. she is on a very aggressive search for a guy to settle with. When the guy she is with is on a business trip she goes back to online search and goes out and if she thinks that her son does not know, he does. i asked her if she feels comfortable going on a date while being involved with someone else, she said she wants to settle so she won't be losing time and sitting around. does not sound like a victim.

When DD still lived at home I had hard time explaining to this lady why i take my time to bring anyone home. She thought since DD is not 5-years-old it should be OK. Not in my books.

Ima, you're right, of course.

That's why they call disfunction/codependence/abuse "the gift that keeps on giving".

fd, the reason those women go on aggressive manhunts is because they think they can't get by without a man.

I found much better jobs when I realized that I didn't have to take the first one offered to me, & they'll do much better in life if/when they realize that the men they let into their lives have made their lives harder & not easier/better.

"the reason those women go on aggressive manhunts is because they think they can't get by without a man"

One of my friends has some serious issues with taking other women's men. Since I've known her (for about 4 or 5 years, she has dated 4 married men and only 1 not-married man. Now she is living with her boyfriend, which she caused his divorce, and has a baby by him. It's the craziest mess I've ever seen. No matter how much sense I try to talk into her, she never listens. Bad thing is that she let all these men meet her oldest son. It just makes me so sad. He wanted to have a male figure in his life that he would latch on to any male that was around, including my X at my DS's b-day party. His dad started another family and basically abandoned him so he's been raised by his mom, who seems to have a weakness for men that aren't hers. So sad..

That's a dynamic I don't understand.

I used to work with a young woman who did that.

One day, we were talking to a married co-worker, & I realized that he was opinionated, crass, obnoxious, & smarter than everybody else.

As he was walking back to his own area, the young woman said, with a little Mona Lisa smile on her face, "I bet I could take him away from his wife."

Exhausted from the encounter with him, I just gaped at her.
"*Why* would you *want* to do such a thing?", I asked.

"just to see if I could."

That was a hunnert years ago, & I still don't understand it.