Congratulations Sue, I am glad the weather cooperated for you. I hope you and your husband have a long and happy life together. I can't believe you planted 300 perenials in a week. You must have been busy. I hope they grow well for you. Hope to see you next year. Karen

My father was Palestinian and my mother is American. He had some problems that made for a bad family life that got progressively worse. My mother, though she had devoted herself to him 100%, finally decided it was time to leave when I was about 3. They went through a terrible divorce, much of which I remember. My older sister, younger brother, and I, were very attached to our father despite everything. The divorce left a huge hole where he should have been because he moved back to Palestine shortly afterward. Both our mother and father remarried, and we rarely saw him. When we did, it was very emotionally draining because we idealized him so much and pined for him throughout our lives. Every time he left it was terrible for us and for him. For some reason he did not visit us very often. We bonded with him on a 3-week long roadtrip when I was 14. We visited all of our family members in the U.S. and learned something of our culture. We met our little brother from our father's new marriage. We saw him again when I was 18. He surprised me and showed up for my high school graduation from a very difficult science and math boarding school. I remember being extremely overwhelmed upon seeing him. I was shaky and crying, and I didn't know what to do. He stayed for only one night. I think the pain of not having us was too much for him. Anyway, after he left again, he called me and asked me to come to Palestine for the summer to stay with him before coming back and going to college. I didn't even have a passport back then, and my mother was nervous about it, so I said no. He was planning on moving back to the U.S.A. within 6 months, so I was excited to have the chance to finally get to know him. 2 months later he died suddenly of a heart attack. He was 48 at the time, and the youngest of 10 siblings. He was the first to die, and everyone was shocked. I cried when I heard the news. I slept for days. I didn't know what to think. We were unable to attend his funeral in Palestine because it was short notice and we did not have passports. I started college 2 weeks later so I did not have time to deal with the loss. It affected me in strange ways.I had nightmares and cried at seemingly random moments while studying, etc. This is the biggest injustice I can think of, and I don't know why God did this to my siblings and I. It has been 6 years since he died. The pain doesn't go away, and is augmented by the fact that we were waiting our whole lives to be with him and to see him. I have a huge gaping hole where he should be. This is even worse for my older sister, who remembers more and was more attached to him. She dealt with it by getting angry and pushing him away from the beginning. His death still affects me. 6 years have passed and I have never had the chance to deal with it or get closure. My pain is raw. If i ever start thinking of him, it makes me weep. It always has. When he was alive, the ocean was interminable and unsurmountable. Now that I am older and can cross the ocean, he is in a place I cannot touch. I feel that I have nobody to talk to about it. I feel ridiculous for STILL grieving about something that has been sad for me my whole life. Not even my fiance would listen to the whole story. I just stopped telling it because I felt so ridiculous for being so upset over something that happened so long ago. It is so unfair. I used to daydream as a child that he would walk into my classroom and check me out of school. I wish I could cut out that part of my heart. Now my brother is going to visit my 2 younger brothers in Palestine and I am torn whether I should go with him or go visit my fiance (long distance) as planned. Someone should write a sad story about my life. I don't know how to deal with this or who to talk to, but I know that it needs to get resolved.

Hi Punk, I am feeling better - we have a lot of pine pollen this time of the year and I always get sick from it. The wedding was special but I am glad it is over. They have been engaged for a year but decided to get married less than 2 months ago so the whole family pitched in. Her husband has 14 brothers and sisters, my daughter only has a brother but with everyone's help they changed the venue from the beach to the house within a matter of two hours. Amazing. The last think I painted was the vintage tote I posted several weeks ago. Now I can start concentrating on painting a few things I have been wanting to do for a while now. My grandson is doing wonderfully. He isn't exhibiting any systoms or ticks. I so hope the word will be passed about P.A.N.D.A.S. I just saw on the Today show that the little girl who had the constant sneezing last year was diagnosed with P.A.N.D.A.S. She is now symptom free after undergoing treatment. The sad part is there is no cure - the symptoms can always reappear if he gets sick. Later, B Here is a link that might be useful: Brushed By An Angel

Its a way of initiating contact just to talk to someone ... In our situation BM called 5 times during the week to ask what time to drop off the kids thanksgiving day she was told repeatedly 3pm would be good ... on TD called again at 11 am asking if she could keep them later hubby said yes whatever time you want to drop them off is fine we will be here. at 1 pm called saying dinner wouldn't be ready until 3 would it be ok if she kept them utnil 4pm. Hubby said whatever time as long as they eat (we went out for dinner)....BM's sister called at 3 pm to ask if the children could stay later because extended family was coming over ... he repeated to the sister ... I already told BM that I was home and whatever time she dropped them off was fine. At 4:20 PM the children walked through the door ... giving hubby grief because they couldn't stay at aunties house to visit with the extended relatives who weren't coming until 5 pm. I told your mother it was ok ... guessing your mom didn't want to visit with the relatives. The attitudes went away.