Thanks for allthe Happy Mother's Dsy wishes. We wound up having a nice one despite all teh BM drama. Organic- As far as BF bailing her out. The man IS a total abusive A-hole but in this case I don't think he had the resources. He nor BM are working. They live in a cruddy travel trailer without electricity behind the mothers house. Niether of them have vehicles and they barely have food. I think it really was a monetary issue. As far as BF's mother, I think she dislikes BM because even though her sons a total jerk he is still her baby and she knows BM is no good for him. Obviously he has issues of his own without being around another issue ridden person. Plus I think BM gave him Hepatitus which I am sure pissed her off even though it was equally her son's fault. Parents tend to see no wrong in their own children. BM could of been plundering for stuff to steal and sell as well. BM has done this to her own mother countless times which is partially why her own mom can't let her daughter live in her home. BM's mom won't bail her out because #1 they don't have the money to do it AGAIN and #2 there would be no where for BM to stay so her best bet is to stay where she can get in the least amount of trouble. Sadly that place is jail. She has burned all of her bridges and is to a point where she has no body to fall back on. Keep in mind also we have only heard BM's side of the story. If we could talk to BF's mother I'm sure there would be a few details that BM "Forgot" to mention. lovehadly- You are totally right about the enabling thing. There has always been someone willing to go out on a limb and get her out of whatever jam she got herself in. Now that those people have all wised up she's out of resources. She is having to deal with the consequences of her actions. She road the fence without any kindof record for YEARS! Now it's all catching up to her at once. Sucks for her but it will really help J in court now that there are strikes on her record. When she finally fell off the truck it ran her over backed up and ran her over again. KKNY- Thanks for the heads up on the foxglove. I wonder if J realized this? I'll tell the girls not to even touch it when I get home. Sweeby- I think you are right that BM is so far gone that she is just not capable of making good choices. She has completely gone off her rocker. She seems at this point to be doing the total opposite of what she should do in every situation. Bm's mother said that BM had made the comment that"when this all over with she is leaving Flroida and never going back." I had to sortof bust grandmas bubble and tell her BM won't be able to leave state with two felonies under her belt. If she doeesn't wind up doing time she will have a parol officer asigned to her in Florida and at the very least will have some hefty communitiy service to do before she can return to Georgia. Bm won't be able to run away from this. Her court date for the drug related felony was yesterday and I'm really curious how it turned out. To be 100% honest J and I do not want her back in Georgia. We both think she will continue to screw up if she moves back. It will just be in our backyard instead of four hours away. We have kindof liked not worrying about any of the crap showing up at our front door. There was no way for her to show up high banging on the door when she lived four hours away with out transportation. That has been nice. If she won't go into a rehab program we would prefer her to get locked up. Sounds harsh but it would be the best thing for HER and everyone else. Maybe she could dry out in prison. Who knows.

Lmao! No doubt! Basically we have this therapist that is a 'conflict resolution' therapist. SM and I have seen her a few times and what we talked about are how we are different at the same time we are a lot alike. 'supposedly'. I don't see it really but at the time we realized a lot of our 'goals' in parenting are the same. The problem lies in SM seems to want to forget that I even exist while DD is there. I have never wanted that for BD. DD has pictures of BD in her room. She has a photo album that I made during our seperation of a of the photos of her and BD from day 1 and up. His family, anything that revolved around BD but it excludes me. One of my goals while making it was so DD could have her dad in pictures whenever she wanted without a constant reminder of the family we use to have but to remind her of the father she still has. If that makes sense. They have sent pictures over the last few years and I add to it as they send them. DD is very much an out of site out of mind child. She doesn't really ask about Dad when she is with me and they say she never asks about me when with them. Instead of them seeing that as 'normal' they see it as well she doesn't even think about me at all so she must not need me or want me. I don't think that way? And I don't think it's the case. It's simply out of site out of mind and there isn't anything wrong with that. If she were worried about me or thinking about me constantly while with him, I would be worried. But what it tells me is she is happy and can function outside of my care. It tells me I did a good job giving her independance and I am raising a healthy happy child. I am not sure what we will accomplish but we are supposed to work out a co-parenting plan and come to agreements on raising, what is important regarding house rules and behavior. We found we are very similar in that regard. We have the same expectations for behavior and chores, school work, respect and so on for each of our own children. The only difference is although those things are similar regarding our biokids, sm seems to have different 'higher' expectations for my DD. I so wish the tables could turn on her for a moment. I Would never wish an angry, lunatic sm on anyone but I would love for her to have to deal with these same problems regarding her own DD. It may open her eyes a bit. If she had someone doing this to her daughter she would probably go WOAH hold on! She told me her ex does not have a girlfriend so she doesn't have to deal with this. But I am thinking one day, he will meet someone and this will all turn her world upside down. I am not a stepmom but I am married to a stepparent and I have stepparents and they all recognize boundaries especially when it comes to respecting the child's bioparents as the PARENTS. The way I look at it is steps are an added bonus. More people to love!! Shouldn't it be so much easier to have a family of four parents than just two? That means more hands and more support - but it sometimes also means more opinions and more negative energy. The one thing I would like to say to SM if it ever came up but I know it won't.. Is: the insecurities you are feeling regarding me stem from you beginning a relationship with a man who still had a wife and still loved his wife. The man was so confused at the time and was in a tug of war of two women who loved him. She didn't break up our marriage, it was already broken, we weren't living together but we were still trying to work it out. I do not think it is always the case but in my experience and knowing others that deal with this, when you begin a relationship with someone still attached to someone else, you have insecurities and it takes a lot to overcome them. When children are involved and you have a constant reminder of the other person that makes you feel so insecure and they won't ever go away as long as you live.. And you are still with that person. Of course that is just my opinion. We have our first meeting next week...

Enjoy the peace while you can! She is probably embarassed and heartbroken. She is probably one of those people who walk around forgetting their wrongs and all she can think about is how "her" babies are calling you mama. Forget the fact that she has been in and out of their lives! GRRR...she reminds me of my skids bm. So on another note how is your pregnancy going? When are you due? Do you know yet if your having a boy or girl?

I've been reading your story, but it wasn't till you said something about NOT keeping them up that made me realize I just HAD to step up and write to say how much I'm also enjoying this. Now I can understand how people used to watch soap operas (Are there any of them anymore?) The "characters" become so real and you are wondering what's happening in their lives...keep it up! I never watched soap operas, but I'm loving this.....Thank you for making us all a part of this wonderful saga.