OH MY GOODNESS! I bet you just want to pull your hair out! The phone thing is really annoying and detrimental to DH's parenting. Maybe take SD's phone privilages away? Maybe get a court order to restrict her phone conversations on your time? Those are the only things I can think of. Seems like mom's attention is enabling SD.

i hope evulation will show something. I mean this is just not normal. crazy. do you have 50/50 custody? who is CP? I wonder if this kind of back and forth arrangement is not working for a kid, she seems way too disturbed. i wonder if she would be better off permanently living in one household and just go for visitiation? maybe she should live with mom if she needs her nonstop? and just come see dad? was it ever considered?

Hubby called a few minutes ago school called him ... he physical custody they have shared legal ... I don't know how they define it but anyway doens't matter ... mom is ordered to pay him support so you tell me... but anyway..

School called him ... SD is in the nurses office having another meltdown telling the nurse how she wants her mom to buy a new car because her doors do not lock automatically and she feels like if she gets in the car again with her mother she will have to jump out .... hubby told them to call the mother ....

In my SM vision..... I see there is something "wrong" with SD but mom encourages and enables extreme behaviors ... I do not believe she would really hurt herself the psychiatrist at the hospital yesterday did not believe she would hurt herself ... asked her how she would do it ... so now I am guessing SD will come up with ways to hurt herself and see what gets a reaction....

Mom suggested to hubby this morning that SD live with her for the summer ... I asked hubby what he thought ... he said he think SD will get worse I said well don't make any decisions until after the evaluation and school is actually out ... (within 3 days of each other) next week.... I think hubby would be devastated if he didn't get to spend anytime with his daughter but what do I know.

(SM vision = Mom sees this as an opportunity to get out of paying CS if she has "physical custody" of one of the children)

Some of you will remember the he11 I went through last year with SS12 and mom wouldn't give him the time of day ....Thats what I keep asking hubby ... where was she when ss12 needed her???

I told hubby last night he has to compensate for what SD is doing by doing extra things with the boys or they are going to start acting the same way to get mom's attention because if SD is taking all the attention with negative behavior and they aren't getting any for having positive behavior we will all be on the receiving end of some very bitter children.

We have tried limiting phone calls to no avail... its just a mess I feel bad for the kids they don't know whether they are coming or going and the stress level on everyone is sad at this point .... I don't know whether I am coming or going ... eeks.

let her go to moms for the summer see how that goes. I absolutelly agree that DH should do extras for the boys, take them places and do activities with them. otherwise they will start threatening hurting themslves to get mom's attention. what a mess!

Boy, what a complicated situation! In my opinion, if you (and by "you" I mean you and DH) let her go for the summer, you should have some sort of temporary custody papers drawn up to govern that time. If not, SD may not visit her brothers or dad. I would just protect yourself. That way, there's a beginning and an end. Kind of like extended visitation.

She needs an emergent psych evaluation. It should not wait.

Since I am just the SM I will no longer have anything to say about how my SC are raised or dragged up.

See ya.

I'm with Nicksmom. Pseudo we can all understand your frustration, but this is simply not normal -- even under the realm of attention seeking.

Think of it yourself and your children. If your child started voicing suicide, I doubt you would tell them not to call you. You would tell them to call you at all hours and answer the phone as BM is doing in this case. It is quite possible that she fully believes SD and I personally wouldn't lay any fault at her door. This is quite simply, not normal.

giggle,
I'm not sure that I "wouldn't lay any fault at her door". There are parents who thrive on drama and even help to induce/exacerbate illness, both physical and mental, in their children. It's called Munchausen's by Proxy, and it is very serious. There is also somthing called Exacerbation of Pediatric Symptoms (or something like that). Similar to MbP, but tends to be more psych-related, than physical.

I'm not saying that either of these things are occuring here, but it certainly seems that Mom is not helping the situation, and likely even making it worse.

However, WHATEVER the reasons are for the child's behavior (and it sounds like WAY more than attention-seeking behavior to me!!!), she needs IMMEDIATE INTERVENTION! It is way past the realm of normal for a child of her age to voice such fears/concerns, and to verbalize "hearing voices" telling her to do somethhing. The child may not only be a danger to herself, she could be a danger to the other kids (and even adults) in her home.

I think that excessive attention seeking is not normal either and needs intervention as much as the real suicide threats. both can be very dangerous.

Nicksmom,

Yes, I am aware of those disorders. However, it doesn't seem to be the case here.

I think any normal parent (without an education in this field) would react the only way they know how and the best way they can think of. That's all anyone can really do in the situation. Pseudo is reacting the only way she knows how -- it sounds like BM is too.

FD, I agree. There is something behind excessive attention seeking that needs intervention as well. I think suicide threats take it to another level.

Sounds like she has OCD which is treatable with the proper meds..

Pseudo-- I am trying to remember... How old is your SD?