The more, the merrier. Now, let's just pray for temperate weather for the weekend. :-) AND REMEMBER! The day before the ceremony -- Sun., May 17 -- is the Celebration Of Old Roses. This is not only a wonderful chance to see roses you might never otherwise see -- but a great social occasion. We'll have a GREAT selection of Silent Auction and Raffle roses and other things, to raise funds for the Heritage Roses Groups, but there will also be incredible things of all sorts for sale. DH and I will be there all day. I'll mostly be at the LOcal Groups table, with the Silent Auction roses, so please come say HEY. Place, El Cerrito Community Center, 7007 Moeser Lane El Cerrito, CA Doors open 11 a.m. Food available -- and you really won't want to leave early. If you want to bring roses to add to the tables, please arrive before 10 a.m. The waiting time between 10 and 11 is a great time to socialize with friends outside. I'm hoping to meet a lot of y'all. Jeri

These are all great ideas! Thank you all. Yayagal, I love the symbolism of releasing balloons and I did look into environmentally friendly/biodegradable balloons (they do make them) but to lessen the visual impact until they do (about 3 months) we could use earthy colors, but a brown balloon just seems wrong! And in order to fly up and away, they have to be helium, which is not available or green...Hhireno, I like the idea of bubbles, just because they are so fun! And I never would have thought of the leaves, Annie, but I kind of like that image. Plus, it would leave no footprint. And the clothing one is intriguing, I'll give it some thought, too. Thank you, Pattycakes, for the music idea, too. I think we would want women's voices, or instrumental, but I'll explore that as an option. I do love the music you linked. Ellendi, those are all great ideas and could easily be integrated, either at the close, or some other time during the retreat. Roobear, I'd never heard of EFT. Even if we don't try it as a group, I'm going to pass on info about the technique to our members. I think they will really appreciate and maybe benefit from that info.

I agree about asking your music people about what they recommend. Also, if you are getting married in a church, ask if there are any restrictions on the music which the church will make. I think too you are expecting entrances and such to take longer than they will. So you won't need all that many songs. General seating - determine about how many pews it will take to seat the groom's people, and how many the bride's. Divide that by two. The first rows of the groom's side ought to have groom's people. Then fill in the remaining with bride's. Or, don't worry about which side is which and just seat most people wherever. All in all it is dreary to see half the pews filled with the other half empty. Your proposed seating plan for grandmothers and step-grandmothers seems awkward at best. If it seems like it will work, great, but it probably wouldn't be my first instinct. I'd have candleabras lit well before the family candles. Candleabras are just set decoration, while family candles are symbolic and should be lit closer to the ceremony.

Whatever you choose, perhaps consider doing this some other time, not at the wedding itself. Even children who adore a parent's new spouse and thrilled about the marriage are going to have some mixed feelings, or at least stress -- that is healthy and normal. It doesn't seem wise to put them in the position of making public declarations at the wedding. And the glamour of being attendants or something is likely to be even more fun for them, especially for small children, anyway. I understand the impulse to commemorate that you are all uniting as a family, as opposed to them being helplessly taken along for the ride on something that only involves the two adults. I think that is a lovely thing. But in the end, what is really happening AT THE WEDDING is that the two adults are marrying. After all, what if they should someday part -- what happens to the step-parent's vows to the children, and vice-versa? I worry when I read about things like a new husband giving a tiny ring to his bride's daughter at the ceremony. Unfortunately, not every marriage lasts forever, and if that one doesn't, what message is that little girl going to take away about the meaning of vows and rings? But that isn't the point; even in blended families that are going to live happily ever after, I just think it is asking too much to have children publicly make or receive vows or declare that they are "giving the parent in marriage" or whatever, even though everyone's intentions are the best and even though it may not seem stressful -- indeed, may seem thrilling to the children -- far in advance when the plans are being made. So I would think about having a sand ceremony, or whatever you do, at another time, perhaps with a smaller group. Personally, I would find that so much more intimate and special anyway -- letting the family ceremony be its own special moment, where the kidz, not the parents, are the stars, as opposed to a secondary thing to the main event of the wedding.