What shocked me & DH, was the DCSS was going to agree to drop it down to zero and $50 per month on arrears. I guess they figured she'd pay the $50 and they could stop making her look for work. But, they are a government agency and they seem to care more about statistics that doing what's right. Or maybe they are anti-father, even when he's custodial. She is a parent that they can't collect $316 from and they were willing to sell out SD & DH to make her a parent they could collect $50 from by making it easy. That really pisses me off... because she is very smug about it. She has the attitude of "I'm not working, so I shouldn't have to pay!" or "I can't find a job, so you can't make me pay" and the newest one, "I have a new baby to take care of". Her option to meet halfway: DH had said that she's supposed to come get SD three Friday's a month, so she could drop off her job logs when she comes to get SD. If the court ordered them to meet halfway, she could say it's a hardship to come up here to bring the forms. I don't think it matters because DCSS probably is going to let her mail them in. They don't seem to be interested in doing anything to make her pay. Besides, DH works until 6pm on Friday. He works 45 minutes away, so he would have to drive home to get SD... then drive to the halfway point, which she was proposing halfway from his work to her house. We live in the other direction so he would have to double back and would probably get SD there by 9 pm on Friday night. That is ridiculous because grandma doesn't like to drive at night. lol I think it was very telling how the court viewed it. The Judge told BM she'd better start paying her support from the spousal support until she found a job. BM said if she got a job, child care would cost too much. The Judge told her that when you have a new child, it comes with expenses she should have expected. When she argued that the spousal support is going to end when she marries BF, and he asked her if she will be married by the 20th of June... she said no because her (ex)husband won't sign the papers. So, then he asked her who supports the baby & she said BF does... so she her argument that she has a new baby means nothing to the court in regard to her supporting SD. She was not happy at all. DH was not happy either, we were hoping they would make her do all the driving to give him a break... with the gas prices and with working so much, it is a strain but the Judge is right, she would probably stop seeing her. Of course, I don't think that is such a bad thing... but SD would be hurt by it.

Wow, Nyte, what craziness your family has endured. I had to go back and read your initial post. I have had a few run-ins w/ the legal system completely unrelated (crooked contractor and subcontractors) and sadly, what I've learned, is that you just can't fight the scumbags of the world if they have a few bucks as you'll be crippled financially unless you're richer than them...It's like creeps just have a license to steal, or in your case, lie. Just hold on - at least your DH is supportive and on your side. Fight together and use the creepy photo to make your point. I hope it's admissable? The law often seems to protect the guilty. It's a shame that you couldn't mediate as now, the only ones who benefit are the lawyers. But, did you really think Satan's bride would be reasonable and selflessly do what was truly in the best interest of everyone? No way. I've seen what my DH went through w/ his ex and it is so horrible the way BDs are treated in these cases. They don't talk trash, try to exhibit self-control and are basically punished for taking the high road. So sad. Anyway, when does this ss turn 18? Sadly, he and his grandmonster probably feed off one another - one psychotic to another. Can you insist ALL parties undergo psych. evaluations???? I'd love to see that happen. This kid isn't well - I'm sure you won't subject your children to him ever again. G-monster covering for him is just perpetuating the craziness. He might just go off and do away w/ her one day.... Good luck, Dana

SD had like snapped back to her old self today!! playing with dd and just "normal' we didnt realise it was no school - we just know we wanted her home at 7 every visit except over nights - i mentioned noone realised it - i realised it once i told my mom how court went. BM text dh about 30 min that she just wants to be a good mom and we never want to see the good. DH told her she had the chance to agree to our attorneys offer but now its going to trial - if the judge doesnt like what he hears she could get even LESS time and we will be fighting to raise child support but if she wanted to work something out to let him know. She said she did - he told her that if she wants to agree to our attorneys terms that he will not fight for more child support. she agreed. so i emailed our attorney to see if we can get this in a court order and done with or what we need to do. if it goes throu then BM gets everyother weekend which means we get full weekends with sd too =) then every other tue. every other holiday and split christmas..

In Los Angeles County in May, Gabriel Fernandez, age 8, was tortured and murdered by his parents in spite of repeated referrals to county child welfare workers even by his teacher. Four welfare workers are being fired and the "parents" are being charged with torture and murder. I do not defend the fired welfare workers, but that has to be one of the most horrible, difficult jobs. To spend a work week dealing with child abuse situations and probably have too many cases to handle--not good.