I would contact the School Board immediately. A teacher living with a married man with a child in the district.

I would contact the School Board immediately. A teacher living with a married man with a child in the district.

Why are your childern living with them instead of you?
Can you ask the school district to switch your 11yo's class so that he has a different teacher. I'm sure if they knew he was living with his teacher they would be more then accomodating to switch his class.

I have the boys through the week, thier dad has them on weekends and half of the vacations. It's now summer time so they will spend half of thier time living in her home now. There isn't anything I can do about the school board because he is no longer in his class. They are alienating me from even knowing how my son is handling this transaction and are refusing to return my phone call.

You have the legal right to talk to your children while they are with their father. A strongly worded letter from your lawyer, or even from yourself if you can not afford a lawyer, would be appropriate at this point. I would suggest sending it certified, return receipt. In many states, you can have it put in the temporary orders that neither parent can have anyone of the opposite sex stay overnight while the kids are present until the divorce is final.

I would notify the school board. Even without school in session, the superintendent and staff are ususally there.

This isn't 1880. School boards do not involve themselves in the personal lives of teachers unless there is some type of pedophelia, or accusations of extreme alcohol or drug use. They face too many lawsuits if they start worrying about an unmarried teacher getting pregnant, a teacher having an affair etc. If the child were still in her class, they would definitely move the child, but beyond that there is nothing that can be done. I do agree that a strongly worded letter from your attorney is in order as you should have phone contact with your child..they have no right to deny that. I would also suggest a cell phone for your child, so you can reach him. When we got one for my SD, it helped quite a bit.

My school board requires every teacher to notify the district of every district child living in their household. Faileur to notify is a continuting violation.

This requirement is in the union contract. There are many potential issues with minors living with related or unrelated persons. My understanding is that this is a pretty standard union provision (I live in a strong union state). The district can then deal with the issues.

KKNY: I did not realize you are a teacher and/or an administrator. My particular state is a "right to work" state, so there is no such thing as a "strong union" here. And I have worked in two counties in this state and neither makes mention of identifying children that live in your home, related or not. Maybe this type of prying in to private lives is common in other states but not here. As far as your assertion that it is in your state's contract, I imagine it would be for purposes of assigning children to schools (some teachers bring their children with them to school even if they are not zoned for that school) or ensuring teachers did not have their own children/stepchildren in their classes as there could be a perception of "playing favorites". I highly doubt any school system would intervene in this case particularly when this child is no longer a student of the GF. Also, the OP said that child is with the dad only on weekends and part of the summer and as you have pointed out so many times, that mean mom's house is really his "home", so technically he doesn't live with dad and teacher/gf.

Yes, there are many issues that you touch on including "playing favorites" and ensuring eligibility for the school. But the rule is there. Nonsdiscloure is an issue.

But once again, as you have stated before, dad's house is not his "real house", he only visits, so disclosure would not be an issue. I am quite sure the contract does not require teachers to disclose "visitors". For example, my children all go to school in my district. (I have never heard of this "disclosure clause" btw, I'm just playing along). So, under your logic, if one of them had a classmate over to spend the night every weekend, I would have to inform the district. So, (again this is your logic and your statements) dad's house is not the "real house", he only visits there, so no disclosure should be necessary.

new2steps: I am really sorry this is happening to you. My ex left myself and my 7 month old child for another woman. It is devastating, and I was always very happy my son was too young to not know what was really happening. I know life looks really bleak at this moment. The emotions are overwhelming, but I do think there are healthier outlets then trying to get this woman in trouble with her job. What she did was not right..not one bit...hers will come. There is justice in this world. I truly believe this. Focus on doing healthy things for you and your child. Use this time while he is away to make yourself as emotionally healthy as possible. Surround yourself with friends and family. Join a divorce recovery group, exercise (releasing endorphins does wonders). Redecorate your home with flowers and frills (anything he never liked but you wanted). THERE IS HOPE! I am seven years out from my divorce, remarried to a wonderful man and father, mother of 4 (2 bios and 2 steps), and even though we DEFINITELY have our times, I wouldn't change my life journey for anything. My divorce made me a better person. I became less judgemental, more understanding, more forgiving. FOCUS ON YOU RIGHT NOW, and when your son comes home, you can be the best for him. And believe me, he will see your strength and morals. You are teaching him everyday.

I TOTALLY agree with lafevem's advice. You need to focus on yourself right now and forget about getting even with this other woman because that is not going to get you anywhere. Accepting the situation and moving on is extremely difficult, but if you work on it, you should get there one day. Getting even with this woman and harvesting all of this bitterness will only delay your healing process. You've got to move on with your life.

YOu also need to focus on yourself. Get a good lawyer. Borrow for it you have to.

You need a good lawyer and you don't need to be communicating with this woman. A judge would tell her she has no say about his children. It should be between you and your husband only. Don't call her or communicate with her. Once you talk to your husband, tell him you need a cell number so you can talk to him without going through her.

Jonesy,

Excellent advice. OP - dont put off getting a lawyer. You cant afford not to have one. If you are broke and can not borrow money, try legal clinics, local law schools. Judges generally have ability to award legal fees, in addition to deciding custody and CS issues. Please let us know what you do. We care about you.

OP: How was the current visitation schedule agreed upon. Have you already gone to mediation or met with lawyers? If you haven't, and it was just a good faith agreement between the two of you, I would seriously reconsider it in light of the new circumstances. I don't know many judges, even in no fault states such as mine, who would look kindly on a father moving in with a new woman before the divorce was final. In fact my divorcee decree states neither of us can have overnight guests of the opposite sex unless they are the new spouse. Any attorney would advise your soon to be ex that moving in with another woman was a bad move. Since you say you are employed, you may have a hard time using a legal clinic, but definitely get a lawyer NOW and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING (times you cannot get in contact with your child, etc.)