I think the best gift from parents is a family heirloom. It doesn't need to be particularly valuable or grand. Being entrusted with heirlooms is in some ways to be entrusted with the family history. That is a good way to start out. If that seems too wimpy, add a check. But I would consider the sentimental gift to be the 'real' one.

Thanks Duckie...

I wish I had a family heirloom but that does not exist. I have put together a CD with many childhood pictures of my son as he grew up......thought it would be nice to have for history. But I still need something for the both of them. I too am looking for a sentimental gift...something that the two would remember the ocassion but not like a jar with the wedding date, if you know what I mean.

What have others given for wedding gifts to son or daughters?

My mom gave me the black lacquer chargers I was mooning after--a set of 12.

And she put up w/ me during all the moaning.

My ILs are much more well-off. My MIL wanted to give me a suite of bedroom furniture; I had to work hard to convince her that, not only do I *have* furniture (including Great Grandma Adams's chester drawers), but that I don't *like* matching furniture.

So she gave me my complete china set.

But they spend a lot of money!

Is there something you can give them that will *become* an heirloom?

Once, I wanted to give a friend some china from her registry, but I didn't want it to be "just another place setting"; I wanted to increase the chances she'd think if me, so i bought her a specialized serving dish (the platter, I think; or the 'covered vegetable dish' would accomplish the same thing)

Or, can you spark off of the registry? It'll tell you what their tastes are (color & style of china, if nothing else).

It's hard to give ideas for something to buy without knowing your budget (and I am NOT asking).

I think it might be nice to give them something you received for a gift at your own wedding, or, if there is nothing appropriate, something your family has used for your son's whole life. Is there a platter, a pitcher, a bowl, a pair of candlesticks -- maybe silver or crystal -- or a tablecloth and napkins, a special birthday plate, something handmade, a holiday item, even a rug or a piece of furniture with a story to it? Best of all if it is something you have used over the years at holidays and special occasions. I think that's what Talley Sue might mean by something "that will *become* an heirloom." If your son and his bride are wise, they will understand the symbolism of handing down a bit of the center of the family.

Congratulations to you!

Well, actually, I was thinking of a new item that would become the platter, birthday plate, or whatever, that THEY would use over and over.

Like, maybe a really nice, well balanced, beautiful glass pitcher for water/lemonade (try it out full of water, before you buy, to be sure it's really comfortable to use; we were given two, and one was crystal and SO heavy to lift, plus tippy bcs the bottom was too tiny; the other is still in use often, and will be until I die). The secret is that it's beautiful AND it's really comfortable to use.

I know that the aunt who bought it for me paid attention to the sleek, contemporary choices I'd made on my registry, and did NOT buy me a floral, ornate cut-crystal one, which wouldn't have struck such a chord for me.

I'd say crystal is probably OK, lead-wise, for a water pitcher, but I know I stopped using crystal for anything when i was pregnant, and when my kids were little. I don't worry about it so much (though I wouldn't store wine or serve lemonade in a crystal pitcher)

But i like gellchom's idea of passing on something that's sort of an heirloom to you folks now; my mom gave me the depression-glass plate we always used for cakes, and I'm so pleased to have it.

A cake plate might the another sort of thing that would get used on special occasions. (Maybe not, for some folks, though)

But any lovely serving dish will get used a lot.

Here is a link that might be useful: a really great cross-section of water pitchers

"Chester drawers"??? Got it from Craigslist, did you?

My DDs in-laws gave them their honeymoon. The 4 of them discussed locations, the couple decided where they liked the most, and the honeymoon was the gift. I understand many grooms' parents give the honeymoon as a gift these days, when it is within their budgets.

I do like the idea of a family heirloom, but I would hate to think of a valued family item being lost to your family in a divorce some day.

I like the idea of maybe making the gift the good china, IF the bride wants a set of good china.