Hi Nancy, I can't imagine to know what it's like to have a step child or grandchild, but I do know what it feels like as the mother of a child who is not the biological child of my husband and his family. My husband's sister clearly shows her favortism, and has no problem doing it. I get so angry!!!!! Yes, my son does have his moments where he can be obnoxious, trying, although never disrespectful, but he has been through a lot in his short little life because his father and I are not together. He is not spoiled, and is taught to be responsible - a very sensitive little guy. On one occasion after my husband's parents gave him an especially large gift of money (that was exactly the same as given for the other kids), my son and I together wrote them a thank you note for the gift, showing our appreciation for their acceptance of my son just like the other grandchildren. HOWEVER, when my SIL show clear preference for my other childrens' company, and says on the phone "Say hi to the two kids for me" (I have 3 kids!!!!), I feel hurt VERY deeply for the sake of my son, who is an innocent recipient of this treatment. I never tell him things like this, but I know he knows. It's so rude! Just think of how YOU would feel if your biological grandchildren happened to become step children and the family there treated them with less respect than their own. Wouldn't you heart just ache for them? I am an adoptee. Thank goodness that there are people like my parents who pray to God to be so lucky to take on another person's child! It's the same thing. You really have to accept that oldest granchild as your own. You could gain a wonderful companion. :)

Depends on your state laws. Talk to a attorney specializing in this field.

It is unfair of you to say that my DD is unreasonably demanding. Go back and read what I originally wrote about her New Zealand trip. There is a huge difference in what my SD24 did and what my DD did. My SD24 planned in her mind a 7 night cruise to Hawaii, which would mean that air flights from Wisconsin to California would have to be included in the trip, as she lives in Wisconsin. The price that she expected us to pay was for the entire trip, it would be at least $5000. My DD said that she would like to take the $1000, that we were offering each child, and apply hers to her New Zealand trip. We said we didn't care where they took a trip, as long as it was without children. We were not paying for a family vacation. The trip was offered as a weekend getaway for the couple only. We said right up fron that if the kids go, we do not pay anything. My daughter did not ask for a trip to New Zealand from us. She was already planning a trip there, and wondered if the cash could be applied to her already planned trip. We offered this trip because we wanted to do something nice for our children for their 5th anniversary. I do not feel that we are trying to buy love. My daughter did not ask for money, it was offered to her first. She only clarified with me how she could use the money that I offered to her. It is OK for SD24 to clarify details of the weekend getaway that we'd offered her too. But she only heard that her brother was going on a cruise, and translated that to a cruise for her too. We'll send her on the same 3 day cruise out of San Diego as we sent her brother. Her brother got himself to San Diego, he happens to live nearby. The problem with her, is that she made the assumption that whatever she planned, how ever long it was, or where ever it went, that Daddy would pay. Far different from what my daughter did. And now that the first kid took the trip, we can't very well retract the offer for the others. This will be the last offer of anything like that after they've all gotten their turn. As far as buying something for DD and not for SD, well they are keeping score. If they hear of something that I did for my kids, and not for them, then there are problems. I mailed a "care package" to my son in the Marines while he was in Iraq. At the same time my DHs daughter was 200 miles away in graduate school. I didn't see this as the same situation, but I was newly married, and didn't want to cause waves over a care package. It seemed like my DH wanted me to send one to his DD too. So, I did. I get an email for DS23 for Iraq telling me that he shared the brownies with the rest of his troops, and they all said thanks. He said they lasted about 5 minutes. The culture on base in Iraq, is when you get a package, you share. 2 weeks went by and I heard nothing from DS25. My DH phoned her and asked her if she got the package or not. She said yes, but was to busy to call and thank me. I never bothered to send her another one. My son now is in Somolia, and I send him one about every 4-6 weeks. If he starts taking them for granted, I'll stop with him too, but he hasn't. It's OK to disagree on the forum, but I think we should be curtious to each other. I don't think we should write something here that we would most likely not say to someone's face. I think we should share our experiences to help each other, but refrain from telling others how wrong they are just because they don't do it our way.

Everyone that knew MaryAnn knew how special she was. Sending my sympathies to her family and friends. We are all truly better because we were friends with such a lovely lady. Rest in peace MaryAnn, our own special angel.