I've been so busy outside I haven't had much time to do anything else. I'm way behind on everything this year. The little bit of rain we got last Saturday really helped alot, but yesterday it was back to watering and watering again. I did buy some new dishes at the flea market last weekend and will post pics soon. I miss getting to come to the board as much as I would like & hope I don't miss anyone's posts. Kathleen, That dinner looks delicious. And of course we want the recipe for the chicken marsalis please. And I've never heard of carrot fritters either. You have to share them with us also please. Jaybird, When you're known for doing something well you're always the first one asked to do it! ;~) I love stained glass. And I bet your piece is just beautiful. Mary, I love your pink dishes and can't wait to see them on your table. They are some of the prettiest I've seen. I love to paint! Hopefully we'll be painting our utility room soon. DH has to build some cabinets for me first. Books of any kind are something I can never give up. I love reading. I don't buy cookbooks any more as it's so easy to find recipes online. I have a cookbook from the early 1900s that is a very small hardback. It has a lot of recipes for cooking sweetbreads & "Rocky Mountain Oysters". It's very interesting reading, but nothing I would ever cook. And shame on you for dragging your NY friend into our dish obsession! LOL I do hope that your friend brings you back some dishes from Wegman's. How nice of her to offer. Karen, I'm so sad for your family that your GS has to go back to Iraq and hope all of our troops come home safely. How wonderful that your family had a family dinner for your GS. I know you all enjoyed it so much. I hope you're feeling better now and get to hit those new stores.

Talley, you are right on the mark. If your 4th cousin 3 times removed brings a date, is she not allowed to sit with said cousin because she isn't family? Of course not! You're just asking for trouble and many hard feelings if you don't include the girlfriend. If you must be technical, in the eyes of the law (at least in my state) they ARE husband and wife (commorn-law of course). I think people stress too much over stuff like this. I don't care if someone has a "quibble" with another - I invite everyone and let THEM decide if their beef with one another is enough to keep them from coming. If so, then it's their problem NOT MINE!! I think weddings are the same way - if parents can set aside their differences for the sake of the happy couple then they are making fools of themselves. For years the family will be talking about how silly the parents of the couple acted at the wedding. That would be a shame. I for one, have a step-daughter who's mother I am not really crazy about. I am sure she doesn't much care for me either, but we get along for the sake of her daughter. She and I have grown to respect each other over the past 9 years. Because my husband is very active in his daughters life and she is too, we are put in close confinement frequently. We would gain NOTHING by acting like fools, so we get along. ven though I bash her to my husband in private, hehehe!! I just think this whole situation is over-thought... just put them at a table and let them sit where they want. Just say, "here's your table" and let the parents figure out where to sit. Give them about a month before the wedding to figure it out and just forget about it. Refuse to discuss it, put the ball in their court and leave it there!

Nettie: You don't *have* to invite all the out-of-towners to the rehearsal dinner; in fact, if the groom's family is truly hosting, I think it's sort of rude to expand the guest list on them. If they *offer*, OK, but I wouldn't even ask them, for fear of them feeling pressured. Normally, the rehearsal dinner is strictly related to the rehearsal. Therefore, it's the bridal party and their dates, the officiant, and the immediate family (mom, dad, siblings) of the bride and groom. Grandparents aren't traditionally on that list. However, if they're there, it might be a nice gesture, so their feelings aren't hurt. One thing I think that happens when the out-of-towners are invited to the rehearsal dinner is, esp. if it's in a restaurant, it sort of feels like the reception itself, bcs everybody's there. So I'm sort of a foot-dragger on this; I don't like to invite the out-of-towners. Plus, I personally prefer the most personal touch possible for rehearsal dinners, and a big crowd makes it hard to do at home. (not that an out-of-town MOG can have it at home) That said, AS an out-of-town guest, I like to have something to do, and a chance to see some of my relatives. If you don't want to or can't expand the rehearsal dinner, you might recruit someone among the out-of-town guests to organize a get-together somewhere in case people would like it. Maybe an aunt and uncle can tell everyone that they'll all have dinner at whichever local restaurant, if they want to come along, and everybody can gather that way, and feel like they're not abandoned, without having to crash the other event. My uncle let us all know that they'd be hanging around at the restaurant AFTER the rehearsal dinner, and we could join them for drinks if we wanted, so we did that. We got to feel a part of things, a little, but they didn't have to feed u. We married in my true hometown, which meant that EVERYBODY except my mom and dad traveled for the wedding. So *I* hosted the rehearsal dinner, and asked my mom to help plan, and brothers to help cook and serve. We had a barbecue at a local park; and everybody was invited. I couldn't have afforded a restaurant meal for all those people, and this keps it from feeling too much like the real wedding reception (which was a buffet at mom's house, so it's not like it was THAT much different). Good luck!

Oh, monablair, that sounds perfect. Don't give it another thought. It will all be just fine. Consider omitting the designation "cocktail party" on your invitation -- just write something like "Please join us for drinks and a light supper" or whatever you think is as close as you dare to calling it "dinner" without offending the groom's parents. If you know your menu, that might make it even easier -- "Cocktails and pasta bar," or "wine and cheese" or whatever. Even if you are just serving appetizers, I would make them substantial and plentiful enough to serve as supper for those who weren't at the dinner. If I were invited for "cocktails and hors d'oeuvre" at 7:30, I would make that my supper and not think it was scanty -- especially if there will be a big meal the next day at the wedding reception. I wish I were invited! I have no doubt that YOU are going to do this with great elegance and charm. Have fun!