I'll go first...

I admit it is hard to think of just one thing. My mother is so wise, honest and insightful that I am having trouble narrowing it down.

I guess she taught me the value of honesty and integrity. I saw my mom interact in a variety of settings; business and personal. I see now that the one thing that stands out the most is how she ALWAYS carried herself with honesty and integrity. I see how admired and trusted she is by her co-workers, business associates and friends. I see that she worked very hard to earn that reputation. I am working hard on that now too. I want my daughters to see the same qualities in me.

I always remember what she told me. A simple rule that has stood me in good stead all of my life:

DON'T ACT LIKE A BIG SHOT

and I don't.

Loyalty. Undying loyalty to the people you love and whether they are right or wrong, you defend them to the end. When all else goes wrong, I know my parents and my two brothers have my back no matter what. Their love has gotten me through some rough situations in my life and I thank God for them everyday!

I know my parents and my brothers haven't always agreed with every decision I have made in my life, but they respect and love me enough to stand by me and if it turns out I should have listened to their advice but didn't, and things backfire, not ONCE have they ever uttered the words "I told you so." Instead, they listen with compassion and let me cry on their shoulders and give me the courage to face a new day.

I am so lucky. Not everyone is fortunate enough to call such wonderful people family.

How to be a woman.........a wife and mother... Sure all women are women and can be wives and mothers.... But she taught me how to make a home...a loving, perfect home through her example.
She just made everything beautiful.. She was like Donna Reed! She took care of our home, made it very pretty...she paid attention to the details...she taught me how to cook and clean....how to organize life, how to carry myself as a woman...poised and articulate. She worked around the clock, managed to spend time with me in between and made the best of it....and still had time to bake cupcakes and make jello. And now as I look around my home and see how much effort I put into it....see how loving I have made this home, see how much I nurture my skids and take care of their needs......and look in the fridge and see the jello and the cake on the counter.....I say to myself, "thanks Mom." Without her, I would never hold it all together... I actually just told her that today.... I was remarking on how the kids were dropped off this morning and they were dirty...and smelled.....as is usually the case after being with BM.... Anyway, I complained about it to her...and she said, "You are just better at these things...it's who you are." And I told her, it's because of her that I am a good parent and wife...because she was a good mother. She said thank you....and slipped in a little "I know."
If she hadn't shown by example how to keep a home...my love and I never would have made it. It would have been too hard for me to have this role at the ripe old age of 26!
I'm rambeling now... but that's what my Mom gave me to....among many other things. This was a great question to post and very appropriate for the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought long and hard about this one. My Mom passed away 2 years ago, and she gave so much to me it's hard to know what was most important!

I finally realized that the best thing she taught me was how important your family is. Friends, jobs -- and even sometimes spouses -- can come and go, but your family is forever. I cherish my family and appreciate how close we all are. She taught me the importance of spending time together, the value of family sit-down meals, holiday celebrations and impromptu get-togethers.

Oh -- one more thing -- always wear good underwear ...you know, just in case you have an accident and end up in the hospital. You wouldn't want to be embarassed by torn, worn or tacky skivvies! :-)

What I wouldn't give to be able to talk to her just one more time ...

Advice I will give my daughter ...

She is only 5 so I have some time to come up with the right wording ... so bare with me ...

Family, Career, Yes you can have it all! With nice big black circle under your eyes. There is not enough hours in the day!!! Plan your career wisely, so you can work around family obligations without having to give something up.

My generation was to that you can have it all, but no one said at what sacrafice. I remember a time once long ago when I was actually bored. Havent had that problem in years.

Betty,
that is so true.

I tell people all of the time, "I remember when I was a child and I complained to my mother, 'Mooom, I'm booored' - what I wouldn't give to be bored again!" LOL
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That is a very astute observation, Betty L. At the end of this month it will be three years since I got my license to practice law. In that short amount of time, I have met so many amazing and talented women (and men too, my practice group leader is a man and he is not only an incredible attorney but a really nice person, it's wonderful working for him). Many of these women are mothers too.

I think it boils down to two main things: 1) careful planning (like you mention above) and 2) a good support network. I don't have daughters myself but I plan on giving my boys the following advice:

1) Have a plan. Do the research. I know people who spent a lot of money on law school only to discover they didn't like practicing law!!! Determine some career choices, find out what's the best way to achieve them (i.e., is a four year degree adequate or do you have to attend graduate school? is a trade school a better option? or even just learning on the job?), talk to someone who does what you think you want to do.

2) Surround yourself with good people. If you find yourself with a person in your life who can't seem to be anything other than negative and nasty, DROP that person, immediately. You don't have to waste your time with people like that. When you do find good people, show them you appreciate them- I tell my mom, my dad, my husband and my dear friends on a regular basis that I would be lost without them.

Women of today are so lucky to have choices and to have each other for support! My first year out of law school I clerked for a female justice sitting on my state's supreme court. I was telling her one day about how close I was with a group of six other women from law school - that we travel together alot and are just there for each other in every way - and she reminded me to always appreciate that, because when she graduated from law school in 1971, there weren't even six women in the class! Now, in law schools across the country, women frequently outnumber the men in any given graduating class.

I have a lot of respect for women that choose to stay home. I also have a lot of respect for women out there working. We are lucky to be able to make the choice and to have other women (and men) out there to give us a hand in having it all :)

Good question and good advice! My favorite (the one that seems to be the most applicable at this point in my life, at least....)is that "If you're upset about something, figure out if there is anything you can do about it. If there is something you can do, do it. If there isn't anything you can do about it, let it go." My own observation since this piece of advice finally settled into my brain, is that if I can't do something to fix a problem, probably someone else is supposed to handle it and I'll just mess things up if I jump in. (um, that one has been leanred after lots of mess! lol)

I, too, have learned over the past 30 years that if there is nothing I can do about it, I don't worry about it. My husband stresses over stuff beyond his/our control and it drives me nuts! There is so much in my life that I *do* have control over that I can't worry about the things I *don't* have control over!
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My mom is 91, still hale and heartyand living alone. when I would get made at my husband she would say...."dwell on the good things that he does and the things you like about him instead of dwelling on the annoying things." She was right on.

Pashan,
I woke up this moring after making a big mistake last night that cost be at least $100.00. I have been tossing and turning all night and I am very upset this morning. After I saw your post of June 14 I am going to forget about it..there is nothing I can do! Great Advice. Thanks

Brit, I am glad I could help!

I used to worry about everything for everyone and took the responsibility of the world onto my shoulders. I learned after being diagnosed with stress related illnesses at the age of about 14 or 15 that I couldn't do that anymore. I taught myself not to worry about the things I have no control over. It helps me deal with situations that I can control so much better, because I don't have the added stress of the uncontrolable situations. My husband is learning that slowly as well.
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Good for you..
I told my mom about your post and how I liked it.. After I told her the mistake I made. lol