Aww, that is sad :0(

How old are your skids? Obviously old enough to start really paying attention to these things. Sounds like your SD is feeling hurt over it, that really stinks. I'm sorry.

I posted that almost a month ago and bm still has not called! Grandparents sent something in the mail and kids called to say thanks 2 weeks ago. BM was there and talked to them as well for a few minutes. Thats it. No call since. And no e-mail or call to dh about visitation this summer. UGGHHH!!! A little effort on her part would be real nice.

How does a mom sleep at night when she's doing that to her kids??? Makes me wanna scream!!!

what I do not understand why she does not WANT to call. Unless she is on drugs.

Those poor kids probably think they did something wrong.

Were our dh's married to the same woman??

My sd's bm acts the same as yours. Gives the impression that she could care less about her child.

If the child doesn't bring up the mom not calling, don't draw attention to the fact. The child will call the mom if they want to talk to her. Unless this is a new thing for the mother the kids will just think it's normal. If she normally calls the kids then quits and the child mentions it, just say maybe she is busy. Don't make a big deal out of it.

This is nothing new for bm. She goes through spurts of calling every week for a few weeks (when she is around her own parents). Then she gets back to rarely calling. The kids are used to it, but it still bothers them.

As for answering questions about it, I don't. I am past the point of making excuses for their bm and I really don't think it helps to excuse her behavior. Instead I just listen to them and say things like "sorry your feelings are hurt" or "why don't you try calling her" etc.

I don't bring it up to them when she doesn't call. I wish they didn't notice!

Another week and no call again! Sheesh....what could be keeping her so busy she can not call her kids?????????????

Whatever it is I sure hope it is worth the wedge she is placing between her and her kids!

The truth is they probably don't care, maybe glad to be rid of them. It's hard to understand when the rest of us love our children so much.

how about DH calls her and asks what is going on why isn't she calling?

It's not DH's responsibility to make BM responsible. Yeah, the kids are hurting, but it's not because of him. It's not his responsibility to cover for her to the kids. I'm sure some of that has been going on, but sometimes things just get too big to be covered up and kids get too aware of the truth.

We have done that in the past. DH has talked to grandparents and told them, I have talked to bm and told her. Always excuses. Then calls start for a while and eventually go away.

We are not doing it again. If she can not at least call her kids without being told to then maybe it is better she just stays away!

ashley, If my X would stop calling DD, I would certainly call him and ask if he is OK or if he is even alive! It is not my responsibility but I would want to know because maybe he died or something.I see nothing wrong in asking.

I see,mom2emall, you called and your DH did and nothing changed so I would give up. What a terrible woman Bm is.

Look at it this way. Suppose BM called a lot and gave goofy advice, and made nasty remarks about you and your DH. suggested the kids meet her new BF with the rest of his biker gang who think school is a waste of time. Take my word for it--its easier to live with silence than any of that.

Guess who did not call again!! Had our cells with us all weekend and checked the messages yesterday. No call again!
This is getting ridiculous.

I'll trade you! BM called last night(from the bar) and antagonized my SS cause he didn't want to talk to her when she was drunk. Trust me, silence can totally be better...

Maybe your right sieryn. It just really bothers me that bm thinks so little of her own children that she does not even call them. This weekend again passed without a phone call.

We set up e-mails a long time ago for my sd's and bm does not even e-mail them anymore (since about March)! We set up yahoo messenger so bm could see/talk to them over our webcam and she does not even sign into yahoo messenger anymore.

She has no excuses for not contacting her kids. Just so sad.

Well another weekend (and a holiday) passed without a phone call.

Then I received a text message today from bm saying "I finally have the day off work. Tell ______, _________, and __________ I love and miss them so very much and to call me today."

I wanted to vomit! She loves and misses them, yet she goes months without calling them? Her job is not open past 7pm.....so there is no excuse for not calling at night any day. And it was irritating that she can not call them. Instead she wants us to pay for the call??? Our cell has free long distance on the weekends and our home phone has no long distance. So that means we would have to use our cell minutes!

So I sent her a text saying that she could call the home phone anytime today, the kids will be home all day. No call yet-that was 5 hours ago.

:) Wish I had your phone problems :)

Sorry I know it sucks for your SC not to hear from their mom but she could be calling many many many hours per day.

I would rather not have the phone ring for months than hours everyday.

Funny how we just can not get a happy medium!

Well she never called the kids today. Guess with working all the time she can't spend her money on calling the kids! I guess we should not only support the kids, but then we should pay for their communication!