if there,s a way a woman can do it

21 years ago

hi

was at the landfill when i spied a day bed close to the metal bin.i drive a tauras.it was white with porcelene[sp] hearts spaced along the back and ends. i could not possibly leave it even at the threat of being abandond by my family on the side of the road.QUESTION? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PUT A DAYBED IN A TAURAS? well, i will tell you only a woman could do that!!!!it is sitting in my yard right now.

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Comments (14)

jessica_oh
21 years ago
sounds fabulous!!! I'm dying to find a nice bed frame for my garden!!! No such luck so far.
jokar
21 years ago
Good for you!!
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What you listed are just that...excuses. It seems like this has gone on for most of your marriage. When did kids come into the picture? Early and before marriage or just after? How many kids and what ages? How has intimacy been from the very very beginning? Was it ever there? I am a woman of low sex drive, I made those kinds of excuses a lot for a very long time in my marriage. In a few months we will be married 25 years and I still have very low sex drive compared to him. We have always had two very different views on sex, I could leave it easily, he could not. He thought marriage was having sex all day, every day and I didn't think that. I also had a lot of internal anger issues and depression. I agree with talking straight up about it, but your approach can't be to allow her to give excuse after excuse. Look at yourself first. Are you a good lover? Does she feel satisfied and pleasured? Do you connect with each other or are you just two people "doing it"? Do you ask her to do positions and places that she is uncomfortable with? Is she in pain, any kind of pain during? How does she feel about herself? If you compliment her and she blows you off, her side of it could be..."He's just saying that to get me in bed..." where if a stranger says it...it's because the stranger MEANS it. It is a warped way of looking at it, but it is also something that a depressed person/self hater thinks inside their head. Does she have a past history of sexual issues or abuse? Does she have "self" issues with her weight or looks....even if they are only perceived issues and not truth to you as you see her. If its a constant...I'm tired, so you help her with work so she isn't overwhelmed, you cook, you clean, you step it up with the kids etc etc. At the end of that, it's still another excuse...there is SOMETHING else going on that she isn't saying, and you aren't picking up on. And then she says it's because you put on weight? That's the kicker. If she can't point out your lack of housekeeping or fathering, then its picking on your physical appearance. Yes, darlin...it's something inside her and she needs to be upfront about it.
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little_sardy
21 years ago
momsgirl - your post made me smile.....how true. We're lucky to be women, aren't we?
User
21 years ago
Women are the most "powerful" force on earth....we will find a way when other's refuse to stay. By the way, you could have always told them you would leave them "by the side of the road" to make room for your find (LOL)!!!!

Linda
little_sardy
21 years ago
LOL ohiomom - my family is so used to me trying to figure out how to haul something home that they sometimes hear me say: "Well, I could come back to get you...." and know that I'm only half-kidding.

Sometimes, I just give them "the look" and their eyes widen and they say "Nu-uh!-you're not going to leave me here!" Shucks, after I take home my haul...I probably would remember to come back for them. LOL.
hallngarden
21 years ago
Yep, we women are a mess. Don't even think about telling us we can't do something. I spotted a big ole rocking chair on the curb going home one day. Had been watching that chair for over a year and the day they moved it was on the curb. After all the tugging the back doors of the car would not close, light bulb goes off, just drive home with the doors open. I tore my red scarf in half and put on each door and off I went. Made it home all safe and secure, I was on side streets so it wasn't like I was driving down the interstate. It was no wider than a tractor trailer with the doors open. My DH almost passed out when he saw me backing in. He knows when the car is backing in the drive , I'm hauling junk. Hallngarden
des_arc_ya_ya
21 years ago
Yep, I'm another one of those junk haulers, too! LOL

Friend and I still laugh about how we managed to load three desks into the back of a full-sized old Bronco! LOL
Had two men standing there saying, "There ain't no way they're all gonna go in there...." ROFLMBO

Enjoy your newly found treasure and just look at the money we all save! LOL (Yeah, right! LOL)
momsgirl2
Original Author
21 years ago
do you think this is the reason my adult children say ''and why are you on disability? they swear that when i die they are going to board up and bulldose.lol
Carol_from_ny
21 years ago
Add me to the list of determined minds. My kids use to be embrassed about my curbside shopping,now they are doing it too. I love my van with flip down seats....without I'm sure I'd be strapping things to the top of the car to get them home!
jleek
21 years ago
Hallngarden==oh you gave me a good laugh. Bet more than one person was scratching their heads as you "snuck" by!!! I am sure that at one time or another all of us creative souls have pulled something just as awsome. Sometimes we amaze ourselves=don't we.

Isn't it amazing that all of our kids are repluzed by the idea that we would do some of the things that we do and then they either end up doing the same in time==or better yet decided that that "find" now would go just great in their house. I find my girls saying more and more "when you die can I have that"==Didn't think that I looked that decreped! Jacquelyn
cupajoe
21 years ago
I don't go anywhere without my bungee spider,my car rack and a sturdy five gallon bucket to stand on.Bet I've loadedabout ten sofas and countless tables on the top of my vehicle in the past three years.Must be prepared for that special roadfind at all times.
Ina Plassa_travis
21 years ago
if it won't fit in it, it can be tied to the top...

:) I'm still thrilled to HAVE a car- I spent 4 years in Oakland, CA, sans car- and did a HUGE amount of curb-shopping, since I was usually supporting more than just my self on my whopping $16K a year...not only did I do the street faire thing with stock and roll-up camp tables lashed to my (also dumpsterdived, frankenstiened) mountain bike...I lugged duffle bags of laundry, all the groceries, a 3x4' mirror, 40 lb bags of compost, and a rocking chair home!

I put so much of a burden on the poor rack ( I had a double-size milk crate strapped to the rack as a 'trunk') that eventually the back tire wore a hole through the metal base :)

I needed to call a cab to get the couch home, though ;)

all of this humiliated my louse of a boyfriend no end-though for some reason, his not paying rent for months at a time didn't bother him at all.

I shoulda put HIM out on 'toxic household waste' day ;)
des_arc_ya_ya
21 years ago
ROFLMBO attcha, Chinacat! I loved the "toxic household waste" comment! You go, girl! LOL
Ina Plassa_travis
21 years ago
:D having never had a genuinely bad relationship before, it took me a while to figure out that he was a louse...

eventually found out why my friends had stopped calling- he'd been screening my calls, my emails, and my snail mail.

I told him I was leaving, and he didn't believe me-actually had the nuts to call my folks PO'd when *after 3 weeks out of the apt* I closed the phone and power accounts, and he came home to darkness-

:) Karma's been right proud of me ever since, I can tell you that !

if there,s a way a woman can do it

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