One of the gardening mags that I used to take had an article about a man that came up with a great idea. He made a lifesize cardboard cutout that could be dressed in an old shirt and pants and sat down in a chair. The arms extended and the hands held bird seed. The idea was that you removed the regular feeders and the birds would become used to eating out of the hand of the dummy. Then, after a while, I think it was a week, you would dress in the same outfit and sit in it's place with your hand extended. Worked like magic. The birds either didn't notice or didn't mind. He sold them on a limited basis as he cut them out by hand, based on male or female, short or tall and painted the faces, I think you could even put a wig on them. I wanted to try the same thing, but never got around to it. It would be great!

I am getting pi***ed off reading about your H (sorry-couldn't bring myself to refer to him with the D). You are not his wife. A wife is a partner that shares eveything. Decision making, financial responsibility, parental responsibility, work, FUN. The only thing you have is .. the housework. As for your SS that is upset about a sibling .... this is natural for all kids whether they are half siblings or full fledged clones. No one wants their space invaded. I came from a family of six and I never was thrilled at the thought of another addition, but I wouldn't trade a single one of them for Bill Gates' money. As for your desire to want a baby ... not all people want children. That's fine. Some people should definitely never be parents. However, for those of us that cherish the role.... I could never imagine not being able to have my children. It is the singularly most life and perception altering experience of my life. Meeting and marrying my husband was one of the best things that happened to me, but it didn't change me. My DH and I were just doing what felt natural and good back in 1971. We were much alike, same goals and though our marriage was a most wonderful blessing, it didn't change either of us. Our first child wasn't born until I was 32 (14 years later). Up until that time we had led a most self centered life. It was wonderful. We travelled, built several homes for ourselves in that time... drove sporty cars. We would fly to Manhattan to go shopping (from several states away). Spent our time purchasing heirloom quality furniture and all the acroutemants. When our first child was born, I couldn't believe that this little bundle needed me 24/7 ... that to shower, I had to put her in her carrier and park her outside the shower so that I could could keep an eye on her. DH and I spend all our $$ now on film and picture developing and wonderful toys and clothes for ... the baby. Then #2 was born. Our lives changed from very logical adult activities to the greatest most illogical time of our lives. We no longer sent $$ on flowers because we discovered the beauty of dandelion bouquets, the restaurants in which we ate did not require jacket and tie, but who had the best high chairs and children's menus, trips were to child oriented places. We learned the joy of fairy tales all over again, the joy of discovering the world around us again as if it was all new. Butterflies and crickets and baby pigs and cows were all a new thing. As they are now approaching a time when they will leave home, I know and appreciate in what wonderful ways they changed me, my husband and our relationship. I would not have given that up for anything in the world and I would have been so resentful if at my age now I didn't have these kids and with them, the prospect of their futures and maybe someday grandchildren. When you are my age, you realize that the most of life has passed. If lucky, I will have another 15 - 20 years. It is wonderful that I am no longer the center of my universe, that I have learned what is really important in life. It is not my happiness or well-being that's important ... or maybe put in another way - I get my happiness and well being from sharing everything I have with the family that two kids in love created over the past 30 years. I larned to relly give of myself being a mother and not just to my children - but to DH as well and even the world beyond our four walls. We're approaching a time in our lives when we've already lost many friends and I know that one day - one of us wil be left alone. It will be a comfort to know that I will leave them with each other. That Dad won't be alone and I have left a legacy of love and family traditions that will live on in our children's lives and that of their children long after anyone remembers what I even looked like. Having children does not take away from your life. It adds to it. If your DH fails to see what a child brings into your life even after he has had a son, I don't think he gets the point and probably never will. Maybe he shouldn't be a father again ... but why didn't he tell you that from the beginning so that you could have made a balanced decision? Is he self-centered in other ways? Does he always make the decisions of where to go even when SS is not around? Does he ever ask what movie you would like to see, etc etc I just know that if you feel the desire to have a baby now - it will only get deeper with time. The question now is - will you be able to handle the resentment, the loss of motherhood, etc when you are 45, 50, 65. I've led an enchanted life, but I would give it all up in a second every last bit of it .... except for my DH and children.

I want to clarify what happened. My husband and SD's mom had agreed on a joint party. He told her to go ahead and book it. She called back and told him the price $300 for the package she wanted. She told us how many kids & how much time that included. I then went to the bowling alley's website and saw the package that she told us she was getting was $180. Then she admitted it was 180 and they agreed to split it 100/80. After that, she wanted to add a banner for $20 and when he agreed to that, she called back and wanted to add another lane for $60. that he didn't think was needed. She then told him that she was only paying for $80 and he had to pay the rest. That's when he said enough. She was already pissed that she didn't get away with getting him to hand over $300 cash because in the past, he let her make the arrangements and trusted that she was being fair and just gave her however much money she requested. They had a huge fight on her birthday (because Mom had gone into his job to demand money for a costume that had nothing to do with the party & she said she was only paying for HER guests) Her actual birthday party was a couple of days later and we all attended and were civil to each other. In the end, we split the cost of the party there at the bowling alley. She tried to get us to pay the whole thing on our credit card and she offered to "write us a check" for her half. We didn't go for that. (and for anyone that thinks I didn't want to pay for my step daughter's anything, that's very wrong. I buy her school clothes, counseling, girl scouts, doctor & medicine, school lunches, etc. We don't get a penny of support from her mom who hasn't held a steady job in 12 years and lives on the child/spousal support her first victim pays) Just from her history, he broke up with her after she took his credit card from his wallet and charged $2000 in Mary Kay products without his permission. They were never married and she told him she was on birth control, but as soon as she got pregnant, she was telling his family that they were getting married (he never asked her). In her first marriage's divorce papers, her first husband said the same thing, she told him she was on birth control but still ended up pregnant... only he married her & divorced her a year later.

I have to figure out how to smooth the edges on the mural. Double sided tape...? Do the Command Strip 3M folks make something that can adhere to walls *and* fabric? Anyone know?