You should thank Pebbles for giving you another view because there may be some parents you haven't heard from as yet who don't feel the way you do. It's important to understand that if you are to be effective in changing this situation. It may flatter your ego that you've been ask to "take it to the streets" as you say. I wouldn't go about it that way. I'd take a quiet, methodical approach and attempt to build a consensus with a specific alternative plan of how this *should* work -- a plan which is reasonable, will not sound like you are trying to take over the school and dictate how they should be running things (not your responsibility after all though you can certainly take your kids out of the band), and a plan that has a prayer of being adopted. You can make this into a diva vs diva situation, polarize the community, get everybody screaming, upset a lot of the kids even more and end up in a fight that goes on and on with everyone dug in. Because that's how these things usually go. Or you could quietly call someone who knows municipal and public law, an accountant, a travel agent, a child psychologist, a couple of other parents (maybe one a teacher) who know how to keep their mouths more shut than not, and produce something concrete. Figure out how to get your plan out there to be legally and logically considered, a plan that will benefit everyone and be reasonable. But I will bet that if you are emotional about this and go on about it and turn it into a crusade it will be less effective than it might be. We have a lot of that where I live. Somebody's always screaming about something and even when it's worthy you just tune them out. The bottom line for me -- and I say this as someone who has no children in the school system so I don't know what this sort of thing should/would cost -- it sounds very much like the school board members in our city who were having "meetings" in fancy hotels around the country and traveling there to meet with various educators on other issues and it was a complete reprehensible boondoggle -- free vacations. Or the school superindentant who ordered a $3000 leather couch for her office. In our community the tabloids get hold of the $3000 couches or the $125 catered lunches and people don't stay in those jobs very long because after 1 or 2 front pages and public humiliation and photos that make them look like they're taking the perp walk, there's pressure on the mayor and the school board to act. Public education in this country is a disgrace in many states. And while band is certainly an excellent and creative activity and a great experience I'm sure, I'd rather see that kind of money go into books, facilities, enrichment programs, special education. I'm sure many parents feel the same way (and of course some won't). But if it's not done in the right way the principal and band director are going to marshall their forces and roll right over you and the other parents without even looking back. Then it's your kids who will suffer.

If ex and I wouldn't have a child, we wouldn't maintain connection and wouldn't keep in touch. But I never thought to sever that bond in order to pursue new relationships, one is nothing to do with the other. In fact we maintained a good connection for the sake of DD. I believe it is good for her. She grew up not being bitter about family and marriage or scared of commitment. Her GF's parents are also divorced but barely tolerate each other and she says she never wants to have children because of what parents put her through. DD does not have this type of attitude. If i ever call, I try to call on ex's cell when he is at work. he has young children and there is no need to call him at night or weekends. But he calls me anywhere, he is not sensitive LOL, if he calls from home his wife is usually right there and I can often hear her yelling: "say hi to...". But like i said we only talk on occasion now. DD is not a child anymore. As about memories like silverswood said. My DD only knows us as her parents separatelly, she does not know us as a couple. She does not remember. We don't remember ourselves being a couple either. We got divorced 18 years ago when she was 4 and we were very young and very different people than we are now. She is 22 now. There is nothing there, whatever was is gone very long time ago. We don't even share memories, but we share DD, so that will never go away.

That's horrible that you're having to deal with this, but get locks on the gate(s) ASAP. No one should step inside your fence/gates if you don't want them there. I have locks on all three gates going to the fenced back yard, and I keep them locked at all times. They have code numbers, so I don't have to carry a key. I am absolutly amazed at the number of "normal" people who don't have enough sense to shut and secure a gate, immediatly if not faster, as soon as they walk through it. Open gate, step through, shut and secure gate; it seems so easy to me. "Oh I was just going to be a minute." is the usual response I get when I have to get up in someones face about not shuting the gate tightly (before I got locks). My dogs can get out, be gone, or get killed in a few seconds. They're hunters; it's out the gate and after something before you can blink an eye, and there's no calling them back. We fixed the fence and gates so none of the utility meters are inside the fenced yard. All the meter readers can check them from outside the gate. I've "briefed" every delivery person, and after having to practically put one guy up against the wall, I think they've finally learned to not come in my gate, unlocked or not. The front door is, ha-ha, in front of the house, by the driveway. Why don't they take the packages there? I'd like to leave the one gate we use from the driveway to the mudroom unlocked, and if I'm home I sometimes do. Still, I have to keep an eye on it all day long.

I hate to bump a thread that once-upon-a-time had 'drama' (albeit, a couple posts now deleted for some reason...) but I think this is the most recent one mentioning the Udel live oak. I was annoyed with a long backup on I-95 (DelDOT seems to have an interminable construction project these days) so pulled off to see the arboretum again. Alas, the famous 'northernmost live oak on the east coast' is GONE. Replaced with a Stewartia for some reason, which at least bucks the natives-only trend! (of course there are native species, but this was an Asian one) This garden has had its ups and downs over the years. It went to hell during COVID, presumably due to a lack of volunteer access, then got back in shape. Now, it's sliding again. I narrowly escaped wandering into a huge patch of poison ivy; that really would have ruined my day to have to rush home for a shower. Also, their apparent wastefulness with rare plants is beginning to be tiresome. The Torreya jackii appears to have died. I can remember a few other rare plants that seemed to not get the early-years cosseting they merited. OTOH, things like Magnolia maudiae have really taken off and demonstrate that those can grow this far north, at least with a lot of shelter. I finally got to see M. yuyuanensis blooming this time, and was very underwhelmed. I hope the F2 hybrid of it that I bought from Camforest is an improvement! (hybrids often are...) A lot of the trees and shrubs are getting too crowded; the plantings, in narrow building alcoves, weren't really planned with the mature size of some of the specimens in mind. I sense they are probably entering the part of the 'cycle of institutional ineptness' where in a few years, someone new is going to come in with guns blazing and do something very drastic to the collection. I hope it's a drastic improvement but I hope for a lot of things that don't come true. 🤣 Btw, didn't take a pic of the M. maudiae, but is is now HUGE. Up around the 3rd story of the building, so >> 25'. Both it and M. yuyuanensis looked totally undamaged. Newark hit at least 5F this winter, maybe lower.